EternalForest

@StarStruck I journal when I really feel like I have something to say, usually once a week. I find it allows me to be more passionate in my writing, getting the whole week out in one session. It also helps me realize what's most important, the petty stuff from the week falls away and I tend write about the most important emotions/events. Sometimes instead of writing I'll also record myself talking for 20 minutes, that's great if you want to go unfiltered. That's just my method!

Man, you're a master artist. Just keep doing what you're doing. You don't need our ideas haha

If you want others to write your life story for you, being a victim is great! All you have to do is write about how everyone else screwed it up. Pretty simple, eh? No one can live your life for you. Go out and write your story now!

@Byun Sean I really appreciate the suggestion. I liked the concept and had high hopes going in, but I started reading a few chapters and sadly I'm not really resonating with her line of thinking. What I'm going to type from this point foreward isn't relevant to the original post, just The Work itself. I did The Work on another individual in my life, so once again all examples from this point foreward are just in general. "Don't argue with reality"? Aren't you a part of reality? Can't you change things? Of course you can. Everything within your control is in your control, including how you feel about things. To say otherwise would be to say everyone around me is allowed to feel how they want to, craft reality, deal amongst each other and affect my life, but I can't do the same, because that's "out of my business"? I must be passive? People are making it my business, and without trying, everything I do affects others and "their business" as well. While I want them to do what they want to do on one level, I also have my own desires about what I want to do. And when what they're doing is in conflict with my desires, I can't pretend like I don't care. By having desires and by being alive I have a stake in the game. We don't live in a bubble. Everyone and everything affects everything and everyone else. Just because I don't "get into other's business" doesn't mean they won't get into mine, so by proxy, because that's going on, that means I have to stick up for myself and defend myself. In a perfect world, if everyone stayed out of each other's businesses, I could see "accept everything as it is" making sense because then you would truly be on your own. But once again, because things aren't that way, they can't work that way. Ironically, I've got to "accept what is" in my own way and accept that because others affect me, I have to protect myself. To comment on what Katie said in the book, it's possible to be concerned about what Paul's doing while also being worried about what you're doing. Just because a turnaround statement may be true doesn't mean my original statement isn't also just as true. Reversing the thought is a good concept, but the thing is that there's reasons for why I feel that way. I don't choose to feel that way. It doesn't just come out of thin air. I look at the reversed statements and I could say, yes, while that MAY be true, it's also true how I actually feel. So a lot of it also seems like taking the Devil's Advocate approach on every point. And once again, if we both sat down and took the Devil's Advocate approach together and both understood what was going on on the other side of the mirror, it might help matters. But let's be honest, it's extremely unlikely to happen, therefore I don't see much reason to change my stance if I know they won't change theirs. We're both not doing The Work. So once again, thanks for the suggestion, but either I don't understand The Work or I just don't see things that way.

@The observer I never said you were. We're just having a conversation, man. @universe Their 5 word explanation of cutting me out of their life ("I'm getting my life together") basically translated to, even saying hi to me once a month was a negative influence on their life. Also, I did not control them, I just asked them to do things, to which they could say yes or no. The only thing that would sometimes disappoint me is when I'd discover their reason for not being able to do something was a lie. I prefer if people tell me they just don't want to do something, I don't like when they lie about why they can't. So that did frustrate me a bit. They'd say things like "I don't have to justify to you why I don't want to do something." And that's true. But it's also true that they lied regularly about other plans they claimed to have, and like you, called me controlling when I called them out on it.

Life is much more than survival, but I understand your question. In the context of survival, I'd say suicide is the decision that you're not going to be able to survive your suffering no matter what, and you're "cutting your losses" so to speak. The avalanche is coming, so you'd rather just get it over with relatively painlessly than die a slow, agonizing death in the avalanche. But the reason why suicide is senseless though, is because you CAN survive the avalanche. You CAN survive all the pain you're going through, if you simply brave the storm and change the way you view it. Because in truth, there is no storm. There is no suffering. Just as you choose happiness, you choose to suffer.

@universe To call my approach abusive is pretty offbase. I felt more connected to them than they did to me. To go more high concept, every time I shared Love before, they would accept it, and I would accept their Love. Then out of the blue, they rejected all my Love with no explanation. How could I not be confused? How could I not be a little hurt? If anything, leaving with no explanation is what's abusive, not feeling upset about it. Once again, I'm not entitled an explanation, but I do feel I deserved one. @The observer I actually think wanting to talk to someone everyday is attractive. I really don't like the concept of neediness cause to me all that does is create fear that you're caring too much. Living the way you're describing, this "too cool for school" attitude would just feel a little empty to me. I like to like things.

@Preety_India True, I'll try my best to let it go. And as Leo said I may have to look inward here and realize that maybe I'm being selfish for being "in need of their friendship", or "deserving of their friendship" when they're simply not interested in it, neither are they obligated. No one is required to be my friend, they have to want to be. @Keyhole Interesting take. It is a pattern I've noticed where I give either too much or too little in relationships, and they can fizzle out for both reasons. I have 3 consistent best friends I've known for about 10 years that I'm on very good terms with, as I've gotten older I've realized that they're really all I need since I've nurtured them and respected boundaries. In a sense, the friendships I've treated the least "serious" tend to last the longest since there isn't as much of an impulse or expectation attached.

@The observer I don't understand. Take responsibility for how you feel? How does that work?

@Preety_India I agree that if they cared more they would have had enough decency to give me proper closure, but shortly before cutting me off, they expressed a lot of guilt for wasting my time, I never understood what that meant. It was almost like they felt like they were a bad influence on me? It's hard to explain. So in a sense, that even more rules out selfishness, because they could have been being selfLESS, but still ended up causing me pain, since I honestly believed they were a good influence on me, despite their patronizing nature. @Keyhole It is context dependent, sure. It's not that I don't forgive them for what they did, because if they wanted to start a new life without saying goodbye it's their choice, but it's moreso that I resent all the unanswered questions. I'm not entitled to answers, but I feel like, for the connection (I thought) we had, the relationship deserved a better sendoff. We were close.

@Keyhole Thanks, unfortunately it's subjective what's considered toxic, since there can be different kinds of toxicity. In the friendship many would say I was being too needy and demanded more of their time and energy than they were willing to give. But I also felt that they led me on a lot, made me believe they were closer to me than they actually were, they sort of viewed me in a patronizing way, like a child, easy to manipulate.

4:40 Oh dear... The most intellectually honest scientific standpoint would indeed be to say "We have no way of knowing if there is life after death". How does he know that the afterlife doesn't play by the laws of physics as we currently know them, including what we know about dark matter? Compared to the information we'll likely have 500 years from now, science is still in the stone age. He's speaking like he understands things about metaphysics that, in reality, he has no way of knowing! 15:48 It would seem pretty blasphemous wouldn't it? 18:20 Actually, all aspects of science should be held to scrutiny. How do we know that one day our understanding of atoms doesn't turn out to be false?

@Preety_India I suppose it could be selfishness, but I view selfishness more as exploiting someone or trying to get something out of somebody. That wasn't the case, they just pretended like I never existed.

How does one live in the moment while avoiding hedonism? Lately I've been contemplating what the best lifestyle is. Not necessarily the best life, or the best life purpose, because ultimately purpose is subjective. I'm moreso referring to someone's overall outlook/philosophy on life. The first choice that would come to many people's minds is "living in the moment", not worrying about past or future worries, and just enjoying what's in front of you. But I sense that leaving such a philosophy unchecked leads to hedonism. Why work out or diet when you could just sit and enjoy yourself, eating your favorite foods in the moment? Why work when you could spend all day playing? Why build a great future when you could just live a fun present? The flaws of this philosophy are obvious, through hedonism, trying to exclusively make yourself happy in the moment, you become unhappy because the overall quality of your life is now mediocre. You can't know play without work. But at the same time, so many people have forgotten how to relax, they've forgotten the purpose of leisure time. I'm having a bit of trouble balancing this, living in the moment while keeping an eye on the future, so to speak. any thoughts are well appreciated.

@assx95 I suspect I have become hooked on it. What I'm lacking is the motivation to seriously pursue my purpose, which would give me lasting happiness and true fulfillment. I'm pursuing it as a hobby, and because its so enjoyable it blinds me to the serious work required to make it my career. I'm fulfilled simply by doing it, it is its own reward.

Amazing resource, he could probably write a book on all the wisdom he gained from these books.

Surely if I am you and you are me, I'd be able to read your mind. But I cannot, I can only recognize what's in my own mind. That's why the whole "You are God." thing doesn't resonate with me, because if I'm God I should have the power of God. But I don't, from my honest perspective I am a limited human, who sometimes receives creative inspiration from what some might call a "higher self". But from my point of view, I'm not in awareness or control of anyone else but myself, let alone God. Can anyone help me understand this?

I've seen all suggested videos and responses and will delve into them soon. Thank you all.

I will contemplate this.

@Leo Gura I would like to be proactive about this. Deconstructing materialism is definitely something I want to get serious about, because there are interesting "cracks in the veil" I've noticed over the years, especially when I'm in certain mindstates. I find myself vacillating between the rational worldview and the nondual worldview quite often. What I lack are the direct spiritual experiences to make the nondual one hold more weight, because the way my mind is wired, logical arguments are more convincing than a Stage Turquoise teaching, but in a way the Turquoise teaching "feels" more true. In this way, I'm at odds with myself. I think I'll end this thread here, I've gotten enough out of it. Thanks for your responses by the way, I know you're on a retreat and all.

@Leo Gura It would help if there existed a human who could prove that these things are indeed possible. Until then, it's just a story. I'm trying to be intellectually honest. @Commodent God can view them all yet we can't? I thought we were God?

@blankisomeone Well there's a difference between feeling empathy for someone and being them. I've also felt empathy for people so strongly I might as well have been them in that situation. Perhaps that's part of the key to understanding this, but I think I'm missing the point.

@blankisomeone Non-dual teachers claim I am them, and they are me. This is like the non-duality mantra, yet I honestly have no idea what they're on about. For a while I've lied to myself and told myself I did, but I've recently realized...I really don't. Like, not at all.

@TylerJ I define being "me" as the unique collection of my own knowledge and experiences, which no one else shares exactly. @zeroISinfinity I'm sorry, you're proud of me for what?

@Applegarden I don't particularly desire it; I'm speaking in hypotheticals. But let's assume I really want it. How would I go about acquiring it?