seeking_brilliance

Oh ok makes sense. When I was doing it before, I tend to work on what gives me anxiety and see through the illusion. Thank you for your reply.

Yeah I could chop it up and make a tea, which is nauseating. I've also read a tek where you can cut them into slivers and put them in the oven to make chips. But these recipes aren't the easiest to understand dosage. The chips are supposed to be less nauseating. I even wondered what a dehydrater would do

That's good to know. I'm sure mushrooms will be legal here eventually.. Just have these cactuses but always too nervous to try it

Not like Marijuana in effects but just able to keep my wits about me, is what I meant. I want a psychoactive effect without tripping balls

@mandyjw I was wondering if you practice(d) a form of spiritual autolysis, whether it's the McKenna method or Katie Byron or something else. I'd like to start that up again, what would be a good inquiry? Looking to go further in my practices and fortunately autolysis doesn't require meditation

@Esoteric Even though you say mescaline is more gentle, is it something that I can take for insights but not trip out of my mind? Just a low dose I guess?

I have San pedro cactus and read about making chips out of it, but haven't tried. A little worried about intensity. I would only be able to use it around my husband if it is similar to Marijuana...in other words if I can still function and not lose my mind. Does anyone have any experience with san pedro and the effects of mescaline?

Hypnogogia... But yes write them down to see if any patterns form. Could be a form of subconscious communication. Could be random. Either way it's pretty amazing right?

Day 3, August 16 2019 Time : 15 minutes Lots of monkey mind. Thought trains varied from work, last night's dream, the forum, and the meditation itself. Constant redirection back to fan. Kept thinking how I would love to just get absorbed into the sound of the fan. Had like a psychic cringe in heart area about three seconds before the bell rang.

I suppose there could be certain uv or infared filters on cameras that could determine if the face is real or deep faked.... But would only work on newer model cameras so any older security cams could be hacked

Wow, we are advancing so rapidly! What do you think the implications of this deepfake technology will have on us as a society?

Haha yeah, especially for politics but imagine if security cams could be altered and the wrong person is convicted

That's actually how it started, or at least what I heard in a video. They were switching celebrities faces with porn stars and the username of the uoloader was deep_fake or something like that

lol ok? won't take long I promise

One time I asked my "higher self" in a dream what my true name is, and it answered "wapa papa papa pow", which if you don't know, that's what the fox says. anyway, byeeee!

What is?

Day 2, August 15th, 2019 Time : 15 minutes Woke up at 6, but still sleepy so I set the alarm for 6:30. At 6:30 I set my meditation time for 15 minutes. Was still groggy so the thought trains kept going to nonsensical stories and images that I typically call dreamlets. I was lazy and did this Laying down, so that didn't help. After about 12 minutes I stopped, sat up, and reset my timer. After about five minutes the dogs decided they needed to go outside lol. So then I reset my timer and completed 15 minutes. Lots of thought trains, about life, about work, about how I'm going to write about my meditation session on here . Lots of redirecting back to the sound of the fan. There was a moment when I wondered how much time is left, but I remained patient and waited for the bell.

@How to be wise yes I am... Could you guys please hide your posts now? ? Only because I want to keep a neat and tidy journal @Bill W

I have the power of now on audible but never listened to it much, as I tend to hop around to something else very quickly. I think I am at the point now that I have tried many many things and can begin to settle on what I respond to. I have read some of his quotes from you and they were beautiful, so I look forward to finally listening to the book. Is this my reading assignment? ?(edit : wait, no my assignment was a book on management... I'll consider this extra-curricular hehe) I appreciate that about your groomer friend. If I can think of anything to ask, I will. I also frequent a groomer forum, so information is easy to get. But the fact that you even remotely understand my predicament is so awesome and I now understand why it took a while to get a response to my guidance request and here you are! I love the way you think, and we are on a very similar wavelength. Since last Christmas I have had a permanent photo booth in the corner of the lobby which gets changed with the seasons. Its free to use, and I just wanted to do something to make clients happy. I have had so many compliments! Also, I have started a new program at the beginning of this year, where you get a list of services with each groom and you can collect them to trade in for various perks and discounts. Its my version of a loyalty program, and helps me not to have to check up on the groomers so much because as they check off their services performed, its their promise to the client that these things have been done. So I kind of had a selfish reason behind it as well So the truth is everything is only improving, its just my thought patterns that focus on the negatives. And I'm aware of that, and its slowly dissolving... slowly but surely... Oh and I was rereading our posts and I do think I could jog for up to 10 minutes and then 10 stretching and then 10 meditation. I actually really like that idea and I'll start it on the weekends in my Calvin and hobbes park ? there's a bridge over a stream that's perfect for stretching and resting P. S. I'll just keep updating my meditation journal without post bombing you on here about it. You can check in anytime you wish and then update my goals on here as we go along) for the first few weeks or months I will need some praise, just letting you know lol

I just want to point out a problem with the words we use... you can't really have more consciousness if its true that everything IS consciousness. So you can't have more of it. But you can be more conscious of things, and even though the words are the same, and point toward similar things, I consider them two separate meanings.

lol I was originally going to say you'll never get your arm or leg back, but imagined all the smart aleck responses it would conjure. actually I really don't care if people get tattoos of course, and I understand the reasons, being a reminder, or art, or to cover up an imperfection. I still just don't understand sleeves but can relax in the fact that I don't have to get one! but they butt ugly im sorry....

Thanks that's what I figured but it's a slippery slope

@seeking_brilliance @mandyjw As per my first homework assignment, here is my meditation report.

I miss your fox yoga in your signature ?