Jeff Zhang

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Everything posted by Jeff Zhang

  1. Having been through so many emotional ups and downs this year in my life,both in relationship and career. A bittersweet year. After learning about so many theories, often being stuck in an intellectual level with distractions and mental misery along with in my life,So for a real practice and hopefully establishing up a required discipline in the future, I am on way to the temple near my city for a Vipassana meditation retreat now which will start in tomorrow afternoon. Best blessing. Happy New year to all of friends in advance.
  2. It may sound silly for many of us, but that is indeed what I think of sometimes in my life. The more I realize my parents become elder especially when they get sick sometimes,the more I feel so urge to look for someone to get married, especially in this year that I have never felt so urge before. Another triggering reason is Because this year my aunt got colon cancer which was in middle phase. With no choice Now she has been in the long-term chemotherapy which is painful. Because I don't want my parents to end up one day seeing me still single , that's so cruel to them. I want to do it before it's too late. So,I can have my own family earlier. And Have a baby so that my parents can look after the baby. Thay would feel more fulfilled and happy, and a sense of continuity of family bloodline. They would have a much happier and fulfilled retirement life like their peers. I think this is one of the main meanings of marriage,at least in China here. Just some of emotional epiphanies. What's your opinion? Any advice? Thank you~
  3. @NoSelfSelf Sorry I don't get what you mean clearly, can you elaborate on it? Thank you.
  4. @zambize thank you for your comfort, it's so soothing and comforting.I feel much better now. And thanks for the recommendation, that's inspiring. Best regards.
  5. @zambize @zambize @zambize @daniel695 .
  6. Maybe it sounds silly, hope doesn't annoy you though. Christmas is coming. However, Unlike years before, here China I have found in recent days so few celebrational atmosphere on the hustling malls and spots, even the posters are seldom seen. Bit of weird. In recent years, the Chinese Communist Party has issued a series of calling for boycotting all so-called Christian-based "Western Festivals"like Christmas, Thanksgiving Day, Easter Day, Valentine's Day etc. In the gov official news, we often can shockingly read sort of like : "We have to resist and be cautious of the penetration and corruption of the Western Values like democracy, freedom etc. Because that's just the western govs' facade,in the name of so-called human rights, beneath which is their hidden agenda to overthrow the Chinese gov,in their favor regardless of Chinese people's wellbeing. And don't forget the 100years Humiliation of the foreign power imposed on Chinese, invading China as leeches. " It confuses me. I am wondering, Is the western gov really so bad,often secretly to sabotage other countries' interest or overthrow them? Which side should I trust,the western or Chinese gov? As a westerner, What's your opinion on Chinese authority's nationwide boycott of western values/festivals? What's the nature of the so-called "Western Values"? Aren't they the universal values that everyone on Earth longs for? But why people here in my culture seem to resist it ?
  7. I am understand what you said, at least at theorial level.but why am I still unhappy often?
  8. @zambize @daniel695 I cried on bed today.But I couldn't cried out, I had no tears because I am a man, which made me felt worse. The memories, the rejection,the hurt,are painful, I was overwhelmed. How could I be so broken inside?
  9. @Spence94 A Chinese gf maybe can catalyze and speed your current learning process by factors.
  10. @Spence94 you did the yoga on the bed ,can you specify the process?
  11. @Lisa2525 vaping is too dangerous, it's better to keep away . It would harm health, especially girls like you.
  12. @Spence94 Chinese society has been abducted by the party in the name of nationalism. There's seldom truth in Chinese society nowdays, there are lies everywhere. I feel shame for that. In fact, the current Chinese societal situation especially like some of main stream values advocated by the party , are far from the essence of Chinese culture which dates back thounds of years ago. The essence of Chinese culture has been warped, misinterpreted, or just like Leo once said, has been corrupted by the ego, and then used the name of the Chinese culture. Also it's one of the reason why the international communities,many countries do not embrace the Chinese authoritative government. It's a gap of values. If you read the Chinese ancient wisdom like Taoism, Buhddism etc, then you would realize how far away the current Chinese societal value is from the ancient wisdom, almost opposite. Everything beautiful is corrupted and distorted, misinterpreted by the egoistic mind, just like the religion. Nationalism is an outer express of ego. And people in this trap cant distinguish what's truth or falsehood. You get what I mean? I think this is a succinct insight you seldom hear in nowdays China.
  13. @GabrielWallace I am also doing online business, btw, what kind of online business you do
  14. BTW, Here is Huizhou City, 80km away from Shenzhen.
  15. @GabrielWallace @Odysseus @GabrielWallace Seems your gf doesn't understand very well your financial situation and takes you as an ATM, which puts you under pressure. I am surprised that she doesn't tell you her wages, given that you both have been together for several years. The understanding with each other about both financial situation is needed, it plays an important role in the many aspects of a couple's life, from what should be bought, where to go,the budget plan,down to every detail of life. Otherwise,in a long term, that would erode the relationship gradually. Understanding with each other matters. In your case, maybe it's better you can write a private letter to her on Wechat/email, clarifying your situation and the plan to her. Or maybe you can pick someday when both of you are free, go to some private quiet place outside (a change of scenery) that can help rid of any distraction like phone etc, where can help initiate a close quiet, intimate conversation. Maybe just going outdoor doing funny exercises,enjoy together,then open the intimate conversation when it's timely .Sort of like that. About the visa issue. Maybe The following can help you a bit. This year I had a Canadian friend like you in this situation. And I managed to help her to get a 3-year working visa without her doing any jobs in other companies. She opened a new company, this is her own company(it's just a shell company for getting the working visa). Then the bureau gave her 3 year working visa. I helped her going all the long process given she didn't understand Mandarin and the process involved. That cost 1-2 months, and cost only several hundred RMB fee. A bit of long haul. But finally did it. I am not sure whether the policy in Shanghai is as same as here, maybe you can have a try. Hope it can help you. Best blessing.
  16. @7thLetter good to you. The dilemma you are in , I think,is most of spiritual-seeking people facing. You are not alone. Financial stability is the foundation that keeps your mind stable I think. However, most of people do the jobs that they don't love. So, I think, go into a career that meet financial needs but also helps us spiritual growth, that would be the most ideal. God bless us.
  17. @Spence94 So good. I am a Chinese native speaker. I have been so tired with my mother culture. , that's why I come here for a change of scenery,haha~ I Welcome you to learn Mandarin. That would be an exciting journey into Chinese culture. Any help you need just let me know. Me personally, I would like to learn French, but I don't know where to begin. Any advice?
  18. @GabrielWallace I guess your gf is Chinese. Haven't you both have a plan to get married someday? Have she taken you to meet her family members, which is a important sign of how important you are for her. “Whenever I say this to her, she always says she just doesn't have time.” It's strange, I think. Not a healthy relationship like this.
  19. @CreamCat Good analysis. If only my family have such long-term insight like you, I would be free, free man I am, free of the rituals.
  20. @Ampresus Thank you for your succinct Spiral Dynamics analysis on China. That's impressive.
  21. @VioletFlame thank you, can you share with us What in this book evokes you such resonance?
  22. I have@Revolutionary Think similar situation. It disturbs me though. After all we all live in a realistic world, it's difficult to be immune to the success money oriented mentality which is the standard of our current society. Can any friends elaborate on the solution, or a map? thank you.
  23. @CreamCat Indeed. Male's population at least 20 million larger than female in current China. Can you imagine that? That's a population of a whole country like Korea. That real gap maybe larger! That's also the reason why my family pushes me to get married so much, they are afraid few years later I would end up being single the rest of life. Sounds silly, right? Come on, welcome to the jungle survival scarcity world!
  24. @Hellspeed Why superior? Can you elaborate?
  25. @Joseph Maynor had you grown up in China, what's your life would be? It really depends! But, generally speaking, it's highly likely that you would be desperate to looking for a wife like most of the Chinese men nowdays.