EugeneTheSage

@MilenaS , I wanted to make it neccessary to fill the form first but you asked me to do this: Sometimes it doesn't refresh automatically, so I need to reimport the information. Now you can see new people

@Czarkovsky hey where are you from? Any close to 3City (Trójmiasto)

@Moses so does any system like that works? All links are expired

Gdynia, Poland. But my national ego prompts me I'm Ukrainian? Currently working on aeroponics&urban farm project

reccomend to cut a foreskin off, called circumsion. There are ways to stretch it out, but you need be quite persistent with it. And in all cases recommend to consult with a doctor What I also feel about my foreskin is that is a big hindrance to great sex. Recommend to cut off this piece of flesh, by medical procedure, of course

Sadhguru hasn't become enlightened by accident. If you read his book you will find he was doing Hatha yoga for a decade, and also has times when he was climbing trees and could remain on a tree for 10 hours straight - he liked trans-like state in which he was brought by tree's swaying. Eckhart Tolle was explaining that Enlightenment or samadhi could be triggered by immense sufferings. For example, some criminals who were awaiting persecution in the middle ages had glimpse of Enlightenment. So here is the answer: do Hatha yoga, tree swaying meditation, or suffer immensely

Of course, but it looks like those desires will not pass(

Hey guys and girls! I am Eugene, and now I am experiencing a big ego backlash. But before I will describe the problem let me introduce myself. I was just a mediocre shy guy, before I've read my first self-help book in my 15. After next year I have overcame computer games, jerking and watching porn, stopped eating sugar, wheat, became a vegetaranian, commited to meditate everyday to the rest of my life. Then I decided to go to the college to the nearby country. In order to do this I extremely pushed up my school marks from the bottom to the ceiling. I've learned polish language and became fluent in it. When I arrived to the college I've immediately enhanced my self-asteem: had a few public speeches in foreign language, started to get good results in school right from the start. I've found a few very good friends, started building muscles. In the middle of the first year I've had a deppression and experienced "no-self" mystical state. Then I've bought into spirituality and started to do self-inquiry. But I was in Poland only for a year - I've dropped the college, because I wanted to be independent from parents and having my own moneys to buy self-help books, courses. Having 17 I've found a job, and advanced a lot in corporate ladder. Now I having a another much more paid job of volounteer in charity foundation. I very like it. But something awfull happened in the february 2019 Over the previous 3 month I ate so much pizza, chips, cakes, sweet bars that no other person could in a year. Sometimes I can spend even 6 hours a day having a sightseen through all kind of the supermarkets and restaurants) Also I started jerking porn. Also I broke the promise to not touch my financial accumulations Which things could be the cause of those undesirable behaviours: It all started when I passed pranayama course. I started to experience high states of love, gratitude. On the work when somebody was hurrying me up, I was very calm to the opposite of anxious me that I used to be before. I renewed my self-inquiry practise (that I dropped since the time I've dropped the college, because I was busy to find the job and arrange my finances) I started to fast one day per week I did Shankha-prakshalana (the cleaning of intestine by salty water (Bon apetit)) - was quite psychologically hard Tried to dip in icy water in the middle of the winter. Itensified my contrast shower Changed the job and increased my wage up to 30%. Now I can allow myself to buy whatever healthy\organic food that I like (but I feel guilty, because I spend half of my salary on junk food) Also a new job spends only 4-5 hours a day, and I don't know where to get all this time, so I experiencing existential void Started to practise strong determination sitting (in order to get rid of addictions). I had a 2-day solo retreat as Leo suggested (sitting for 1hour motionless and mindfull 4 times a day for 2 days). Actually after this my addiction only enhanced (what should be expected) I started to meditate minimum 1 session 30 minutes a day, but usually I do 2-3 30min sessions per day. My practise has become deeper after the 2-day retreat. Also I abstain myself from the girls, partying, socializing, as Leo told in episode "how to deal with loneliness" - and this highly resonates with me. I also have no person to talk with - all my friend in the sudden went abroad. So I full experiencing the existential void. Having lot of Samadhi experiences: sometimes I feeling unity with items while looking at them, no-free-will experience What are my insights and what I've tried in order to overcome those addictions: I try doing it as consciously as I can. I've understood that the only bad thing about this behaviour is that it happens unconsciously. Junk food by itself isn't bad at any level I constantly observe my thoughts (mindfullness practise from the Ekhart Tolle "Power of Now") I trying to replace those by "positive addictions" such as my 3d-graphic hobby, now I consider to find a girlfriend, otherwise I will not endure the lust. I think I should find a "healthy" distraction, to replace my present thoughts. As though a brain is reflectory organ, I can't just stop him, so I should create a new input to it "Darkness cannot be beaten, it can only dissolve by exposing it to the light" Also I like a Sadhguru words "I wanna you to be constantly focused on something". I also feel that I just should have as much important things in my life to be focused on Also I try to not betray and blame myself for those acts of evil I watched topics that relate to my situation: "how to deal with loneliness", "how to overcome addiction", "ego backlash", "free will vs determinism" recently, "dark side of meditation", "awareness alone is curative" - that one I use as the excuse to do all that bad stuff ("I will just let myself consciously jerk some porn") I've promised to my brother that I won't do this crap for the whole month, otherwise I will pay him a money (now I am in a huge debts). Even when I successfully abstained from it, I felt huge desire for it. My job including collecting charity funds in box in crowded places. As I observed the people I've asked the questions: "Why certain people buying certain types of food?" " Why I don't seeing old retired persons standing near the kebab&panini kiosks?" "And why do young people never buy stuff old people are buying?" "Why am I constantly want only few kinds of food: chips, "Napoleon" cake, few sorts of pizza?" "Why I don't even look on some kinds of food in the shop?" for examples some gummy-bears, jelly artificial candies - those don't event exist for me in th shop "Why don't I wanna to try the stuff I've never tried before?" - The reason why is because I was programmed for this food since the childhood And also few other things I should say about my situation: Sometimes I set hard intention to stop ego backlash process. But desires soak in and I can't rid off them. Sometimes it feels hopeless. Feels like it is impossible to deal with that. The higher intentions to execute the best life ever possible arises sponteneously, out of nowhere, as so as nasty desires It taught me that failures don't influence my in anyway - I am not the failure, failure is just a thought in my mind. This insight helps me to not give a damn about yourself and after the ego's kick continue to work forward. Also I've lost vision for my life. Nothing motivates me anymore. It is boring to review my goal journal - I do it mechanically. I think it is because I don't allow myself to think about anything motivational. I practising thought observation, when I observe the thought - it disappears. The problem is that "good" thoughts disappear quite simply, but those like addictive ones very hard Sometimes I even question: "Do I even want to get rid of that? What is the point?" What is my plan? To set my life purpose. I have a few options, but I still doubt (for the las few years) Renew my physical exercises, and start building muscles again Start to run with a few girls in the morning Visit vippassana retreat in May Go to the India like Steve Jobs in his 19th (probably), visit some monastery (I hope I will not splash the holy walls with my semen) Go to the Inner Engeneering program by Sadhguru, and then be Isha volounteer for a 3 month (those 2 last points prepared for the extreme case) I feel very great now, by writing this topic. Expressing my thoughts on the screen, and exposing my problem to the self-actualizing community makes me feel more powerfull and motivates to overcome this period of my life. Please guys, tell some insights&experiences in overcoming addiction. I will try to insert them into my picture. I don't just wanna to fix, but to prevent such big backlashes in the future. I very need a fresh look to my problems. I think it is a great springboard to attain even higher self-actualized level than was before the backlash. The main thing I wanna accomplish is not just stop bingeating and jerking, but totally eliminate the desire! To the point that some guy suggest me 10 delicious pizzas for free and I don't even tempted by them! Thank you for your response!

Yeah, I think to find a good friend. Meeting with him would remind me about my path.

"If you observe the boiling river, that means you are not drowning in it" I observe the thoughts throughout the day, concentrating on a place where they come from. When the mind calms down, I "anchor" my consciousness into the breath, feeling of the whole body. If it is interesting for you you can read "Power of Now" by Ekhart Tolle

Hi I start my day from pranayama kapalabhati breathing techique - it takes off the veil from your perception of reality. Mind is clear and calm after this Surya namaskar of 2 types, each one of 4 sets Meditation (vippassana) 30 mins. I still experimenting with meditations, so it can vary Self inquiry Day planning Reading 30 mins of the hobby - 3d-graphic Everytime i go to work I go through the park and observe the ducks - they have so much to teach you! When I back home I try to meditate. I want it Eating: breakfast between 10-12 AM, supper 17-19. I try to it in 8-hour range, so I have the 16 hours of fasting Washing up Checking email, social media Meditating Sleeping/laying mediation. Usually I do Yoga Nidra. While doing it feeling like a magic. Highly reccomend: https://blog.bulletproof.com/resources/ almost on the bottom of the page Also very important thing (at least for me) is not to push some habit - I do what sticks. I glad to not feel guilty when some habit is not working for you, or you find it dull and quit it. I think that is the only way to find your own. You need to find a balance between committing to habits and experimenting with new

What did I learn from this episode? After this video I will go to my youtube history and analyze how many videos I've learned something from today. And if I haven't, so how can I change my behavior?" I will review some big events in my life, and I'll analize how my behavior has changed or if it hasn't how can I change it I will go to the forum and read insights of others about this topic I will keep "How will my behavior change?" journal for 30 days up to 28 of February 2019 I will ask aforementioned questions in areas of application Leo gave me

Hi guys. I am meditating over the year and I have changed a couple meditation techniques throughout this time. It was a vipassana, isha kriya, mantra focusing technique and some other. So I have a deal: everytime I start a new technique my progress is skyrockets, I very focused and aware on the start. But after a two weeks I become totally unconscious and it hard to give my focus straight even a few times throughout the practise. Have you any ideas guys what is the reasin of it? I wanna get the answer what is the nature of it rather than just what should I do with it. Also I am interested in question how long do you keep one practise before changing it to another?

I know I am unconscious, because all that time I not noticing my breath is going monkey chatter activity. Sometimes I thinking about it: who knows - maybe I noticing my unconscious more often because I became more conscious?

I agree with you, It seems like it gets to be very automatic, like the move that sportsman repeats thousand of times.

Hi, not so far ago I watched "Comprehension has many degrees" and found out the thing I called before as self-development was just mental masturbation. The only thing I was doing is reading/watching/hearing new stuff getting inspired for a while and going further. Now, I am working on "digging deeper" instead of "expanding wider". I am embodying contemplation habit. I have tamed down informational stream, also found something about resolution "deep year" when you don't buy new books, don't start new hobbies, don't learn new games etc. Can you suggest any books/videos/audios/articles about this topic? I'm not interested in "minimalism lifestyle" and "mastery" books, but something about deep understanding or principle "go deeper, not wider" Also it will be nice to hear your advices on this topic

Name: Eugene Fil Age: 17 years old Gender: Male (I hope so) Location: presently, I have no place which I can call "home"), I am locating in village Tryhirya, Ukraine, it is here> https://goo.gl/maps/JCpNaxNJohG2 Marital status: Have a girlfriend Life purpose: Create a system of schools which are oriented on developing life skills, like: oratory art, financial managenment, time managenment, emotional managenment. Also it focused on developing social interaction skill. I am going to make a factory of new Elon Musks, Tomas Edisones, Sadhgurus and Mark Aureliuses Hobbies: Personal Development at all, especially: meditation, Being, contemplation, reading, building muscles, learning english, mnemonic (the technique, that allows you memorize 100 phone numbers in 30 minutes), and helping others to get on track of Self-Actualized life (I'd say it is an addiction), and some that are not in self-dev: kickboxing, 3d graphic (here is my best work> https://www.artstation.com/artwork/L0lz0), making paper models of tanks, planes. What I have overcome: Eating sugar, flavour, gluten, stuff Being lazy Videogames, sitcoms Surfing in the internet What I have achieved: Meditation Habit - 11 month of daily meditaion, usually even 2 times a day. It all after Leo's video, where I've committed to do it for the rest of my life Reading habit - 30 mins a day Good level of English, Polish I am vegetarian What I'am working on: Going deeper instead of wider (after watching "Comprehension has many degrees") Creating a contemplation habit Being more mindfull on daily basis Making bread (without gluten) and butter (without trans-fats) for life Not to masturbate (I thought I dropped this habit, but after half of year I returned to it) The first seed has been planted as I red a few books 2,5 years ago. One of them was: "If you wanna to be rich&happy don't go to school" (after this one my school marks fell down to hell). Then after half of the year I entered the free-trial version of course about changing of your life. The trial lasted for 7 days, but they changed direction of my life. Then I started to watch hundred of videos about self-development, untill I discovered Leo. The first video was "3 step fornula How to be ruthlessly effective in anything", and "The vision for actualized life" - that one inspired me so much, that Self-Actualization became the most important in my life. The things Leo told me were the profoundest with ones I heard (until I found Sadhguru). The mainst my attainment was getting rid of videogames (I'm still missing for Witcher 3), and pitful sitcoms like Game Of Thrones, also cleared my life from surfing in Social Media, and cleaned subscription list on YouTube. My mum suggested me to get education in Poland, and I accepted this Idea. But I had a down-to-hell marks in school as I said before. I started to working hard, and finally I pull them up to heaven. I had a great success, and came to Poland as a lider. There everybody was wondering me, and I put a few guys on the way of self-dev. On the holidays I experienced a few mystical experiences, and, unconsciously, started to search the truth. So, I found it in the in the second half of school year I red "The Power Of Now" - it has changed my life completely. But after 3 month's I quitted the way of no-way. It was ego's (my ) victory. Through all the year I had been noticing that I am getting to be worse, some bad habits used to return. I was feeling bored in school, it was sucking my energy. The town where I was living in was too smal to offer some events, seminars about self-development. So I decided to take responsibility for my life, and DROPPED out the colledge. Now I'm searching for a job, and I have a few great job vacancies. I am writing my story, and it will be exciting like Game Of Thrones (but without blood and gay-sex) Make the screen of this post and I'll give you 1000$ after 10 years, when I'll be a billionaire)