Galyna

If this is the case, I am going to postpone LSD for another ten years. I am not ready to die now, too many projects to complete ????

I love this topic, it is so enjoyable to read all the questions and answers. wow...thanks for making my mind think. i love ❤️ this forum

Pretty much everything that pertains to emotions: 1. Fear of unknown 2. Attachments to other people 3. Inability to be fully present in the moment due to the thoughts.....

Been with this channel for about five or six years, before even this forum was created. However, only recently the weirdo stuff has started to happen. I don’t know but my perception has changed. A lot of people I know told me that I have changed. Honestly, it is a bit scary to go that deep. I feel like I am losing my mind. But I can’t stop it. Deep inside I know something great should come out from this. Don’t get disappointed and discouraged. The main shift will happen as soon as you allow it to come into your life. The question is do you have enough courage to face it? It is scary and hard, basically you can’t cling to any notion, and that leaves you without any support. When your mind starts to constuct any meaning, it takes courage to see through the illusory nature of the thought. Feels like you are going crazy. You are embarrassed to show this channel to other people. I wish I would have this luxury, I mean to think this way. As soon as I start thinking about other people , I begin to jeopardize the objective world and all the implications. See? I don’t have any backup anymore, everything I have been building for years just ruins in a split of the second like a shattered glass. But good luck with your quest ? I hope you will find some agreement and align your mind with feelings. Good post, I like how you introspect. ?

My love to you does not know any border… I feel your presence in every sight, face, eye movement and facial expression. You're making me strong, I dissolve in your presence. That is so funny how you became me, so one day I'll become you again. I will recognize you in all the guises, postures, looks and figures, because the memory and the sensation of this intimacy will never fade away. You are so mine. You are my own. You are Me and I am You! You are speaking my words and saying my thoughts. You are feeling my feelings, you are expressing my emotions. You laugh with my laughter. Sometimes, your presence is driving me crazy. It is so gentle and kind, compassionate and attentive to every little detail of my being. You are caressing me with your presence. I am dying in your tenderness. Every second I am slowly dying in your timeless presence to become you, to encapsulate all your facets, to cross all the edges, to break all the limits. This death is the only way out to get this perpetual union, a merger with you. I've never wanted anything in my life but just to be with you, to become one with you. I’ll choose you over any life and any death. To love You is my salvage. This love is deeply saturated with the joy, ecstasy, reverence and awe. Everything that I love about you, you reflect back at me. This feeling is so intense like a rolling snowball that rushes with an enormous speed. This love can not be measured and does not know any depth. The depth itself will never be that deep for it. It is unfathomable. My mind is failing to conceive any idea about this profoundness, for I will be falling in this chasm forever.

@cetus probably, but I was sober when writing this. I love Love! It was so strong last night and I decided to write it down to release it.

I wish but no. God is still is rather abstract to me. I was describing the feeling of Love, how it feels to me when it is not conditioned by anyone or anything, just a deep introspection. It is how I feel it. Thank you for asking

@Nak Khid It made me LOL...

When thinking about the future, I have a feeling that I cannot move into it ( the future). Seems like my thinking process is not linear anymore. Used to be very linear, I was daydreaming a lot, anticipating and hoping. Now I am "forcing" myself to be in the present moment. This present moment is more chaotic: memory flashes from the past (this is huge), feeling of uncertainty about the future since it is like a fog, various perceptions unknown to me, etc. Seems like I do not know anything. I can not trust my knowledge. I am not sure about any things and concepts anymore. I've started to doubt everything. I have a feeling that I am circling around something significant but I cannot reach it. Future is not so clear and feasible as it used to be. My perception about the future has changed. Because every time I think about the certain interval in the future, I understand that any thought about the future is just a thought, an idea I can not cling to because it is not real. Also, I know that this " so-called imaginary future" will be totally different from my present thoughts. And there is no point to day dream, but my mind used to daydream a lot. The present moment is a little bit suffocating (probably because I am over-analyzing it) and overwhelming, because all the arrows are pointing at me. Everything is converging onto this focal point which is ever present. When thinking about it, it creates tension. My mind is breaking up. I am teetering on the edge of the abyss, and partially losing my familiar sense of sanity. My mental state and flow energy used to be more focused. Now, my feelings are everywhere…slowly sliding on the roller coaster, up and down. Guys, have you ever experienced anything like that? I can not say that the monkey mind has taken over me, but I have a weird feeling of perception. My perception has changed. And I am not sure what has triggered it. I do not have the familiar feeling/sensation of myself. I do not even know if I want to go that far…I have a very heavy feeling in my chest. I have never experienced anything like that before. And the more I think about my self-development and enlightenment, the heavier it gets. I was even thinking to forget about it, this forum, my books, YouTube videos, and get back to "amusement park again". But I am not sure if I can go back…"The self" will be chasing me anyway.

@Carl-Richard going away? Hm....interesting. It never occurred in my self-perception. I feel fully present all the time ?, but I can assume what you mean. You are taking about ego. That is actually a cool subject. I need to ponder about it. I need to think how to articulate the ego death in words. At least what it is for me. Even though I don’t claim anything. I have a glimpse of a tiny truth, maybe.

@The observer thank you for the nice supporting words ?

@Carl-Richard I would say disoriented, why?

I had this scoby mushroom when I was a little girl. We did not eat it, but somehow it had to help my wish come true (that is what my friends told me ). Sounds crazy but when you are a little kid, was watch it growing, it was such a fun. I know some people drank that water from the scoby mushroom. I am a bit resilient to this idea, but hey....I think you should have one for fun if you want to.

I wonder about synchronicity myself very often. I want to study it more. I want to see the God's signs and I want his guidance. Usually, when I want to know if my dream comes true, I ask the God a question and wait for the answer. For about two weeks I could not force myself to read the book by Edward Abbey,"Down the River", needed for my university class. Today, when talking to my professor over the phone, discussing the final project and telling him about my interest in spiritual enlightenment, he randomly mentioned the book by Abby and recommended to read it during the summer. Is it a synchronicity or I am making it up? Thank you. Would be nice to know your opinion.

@Fkdel Thank you for the nice words. I feel it myself. Something eventually will come out from this. The way I feel and behave is unusual for me.

@dimitri

What is scoby? A mushroom in the jar? "A SCOBY, short for symbiotic culture or community of bacteria and yeast, is a syntrophic mixed culture of bacteria and yeast used in production of several traditional foods and beverages. Wikipedia"

Thank you so much for your understanding....

I had this experience during meditation, and couple of times when I was jogging on my treadmill at home. Both times it excited me so much that I was thrown back to the normal state of my mind.

@GodDesireOnlyLove In fact, it makes me feel sick by just looking at this cover, please remove it from this thread. Thank you. P.S. Gosh, this crazy media would do anything to provoke any kind of emotions. Their pathos is horrible.

@GodDesireOnlyLove Nah, this video does not resonate with me, sorry.

Still black and white because I have not found the balance yet. As soon as I reach the golden middle, I promise, I will change my pic and it'll be colorful. Meanwhile, it reflects my mental state, full of opposites, extremes, either black or white. One minute I am all loving, another - I am the devil. This is so funny because I am this conductor, it is so clear. The good news is that I do not identify with these emotions any more.

What exactly made you confused?

@WhatAWondefulWorld We can look through the door slit, but maybe we should open the whole door Scary and exciting at the same time.

See, I do not know how to explain this to you... If I literary live like other people all the time, it would drive me insane. I hate inner dialog and loud thoughts. Maybe five years ago or something, thoughts started to appear in a very nice and comfortable way. They were not showering my mind, but rather appeared out of nowhere with some intervals. Ofc, when I am stressed, I would drive myself insane by analyzing situation, speaking with myself (inner dialog) but thanks God it is not very often. I would not say my thoughts are loud. Sometimes, my thoughts are not words at all, but rather images or a film about past memories, or sensations. It depends on my mental state. If I am peaceful, then I am blank. When angry or stressed, then this inner hygiene is in dis-balance.