Galyna

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Everything posted by Galyna

  1. Guys, please help. Lately I have been doing pretty bad. It feels as I hit the wall of my life. I have apathy and cannot construct meaning to move on in life as I used to. I was hit by terrible depression. Sometime reality feels unbearable. I have zero energy to go and conquer the world. Everything is falling apart: personal life – will face divorce, most likely this year, education: no power or interest to work/continue my master’s, work: started a new job in a new company, have no clue if they keep me there for a long time. Am I facing a dark night? I have so much fear, fear of unknown. Every achievement in life feels empty. I cannot enjoy things. Sometimes, I want to fall asleep and not face existence. I do not have anything to lean on, feeling very insecure. One day could cry from divine bliss, another day suicidal thoughts. One day awareness is so high, another day I turn into ignorant bitch, everything flies out the window, all my wisdom. I cannot recognize myself anymore. My identity or illusion of it feels very strange. Guys, how did you keep your jobs during this period of your life. I have to support myself somehow financially, but I am not sure if I can concentrate on my job duties when falling apart like this. I have zero energy. Sometimes, it feels that I am falling into a dark whole of my life, to the lowest.
  2. Thanks, college, yes, I am taking a break this semester. I do have two bachelors, but they do not cost a thing, I guess. Maybe the only meaning is to serve others, but I do not have a special degree to be in that situation and can only do office jobs, which is a bit depressive. Hard to live when your ego cannot invent a story for the future, and you realize that all your future is in your head, right at this second as a thought.
  3. @NoSelfSelf Right, a good sign, LOL, I hope I will have a place to live.
  4. how to survive during the storm to keep your mortgage and pay the bills?
  5. @Nahm after meditation I cried today. I don’t understand the feeling of sadness either. Tried to inspect, only one thought came into mind: existential loneliness. felt so pity for my little ego trying to find Truth since it remembers itself 🤣.
  6. You can observe the mirror on your wall as well. Right?
  7. "Animals" are a part of "your" first order reality (pristine perception) and "you" (or call it "your mind", (both statements are wrong)) automatically assign meaning to it, calling perception "an animal", second order reality. Are they separate from you? by which means do you know this? have you ever had a direct experience of it?
  8. What if you couldn’t speak human language? What would you be left with?
  9. This can not be communicated with a language. I wrote about it about six months ago. The basics of Reality - Meditation, Consciousness, Enlightenment, Spirituality - Actualized.org Forum\\ "Without language, we could not describe and construct plausible reality. All there is just a Raw Reality, which is predicated upon Awareness and is manifested in the form of perception, a.k.a. the five senses. These five senses travel through your perception, call it a "stencil". When these perceptions are collected and converged onto the focal point, we have an emergence, call it a human being. The mind interprets raw experience and creates identity. How? By the means of language. What is language? It is a sound. We assign the meaning to any shape by the means of the sound. When we give any linguistic load to the object, we mean the perceptive experience, but not the object. It is just a label, right? Because objects do not exist separately from the perception, which includes the five senses. So, we decode the material reality by the means of the five senses and convert them into plausible reality. Again, you are not a human being! Here is how you emerge: 1. Awareness 2. Perception decoded into the five senses: 3. Vibration creates sound (which is hearing), sound is encoded into language. 4. Then by grouping the various noises, you create words. 5. Language is a tool by which you assign the meaning to the objects=semantic load. Remove language and you will not be able to describe reality. Duality will collapse. All you’d have would be the raw reality which is Oneness: awareness and five senses allow this raw reality to be. You are the “stencil” (attaching the picture below). The stencil is just a collection of your beliefs, manifesting in the form of the human language, behavior, conscious and unconscious reactions. Your ego is a stencil. Your ego is highly influenced by the external reality; therefore, it does not have free will and acts according to reactions and impulses. That is how you construct your identity. Yesterday I re-watched Leo’s video (below), and finally, it clicked. I watched it thousands of times six years ago, and could not get rid of the linguistic labels. Finally, I was able to dis-attach and see the reality without the stencil. I've acquired a deeper understanding. I am sorry if I couldn't relay my message in a more plausible way. It is very hard. I have understanding, but not enough scientific knowledge to pass it to other people. Much Love. "
  10. @Adodd sure. please read my post, I answered this question a year ago.
  11. Seems like everyone here is an expert about God consciousness, I think it is Bc my consciousness evolves, therefore this forum evolves, since I make it this way as the only thing in existence… 🤣
  12. I have noticed that the forum is evolving. When we started in 2016, the topics were far less advanced.
  13. I just want to see the following: body awareness no thoughts experience difficulties with retain some short memory no emotional response relation to the 3D thanks 🙏
  14. @Tyler Durden alter ego? Hahahah…. pls make a post about persistent non-symbolic experience. I can’t find much information about it, other than that by Dr. Martin.
  15. The God is not what this word points to…many of us misuse this definition.
  16. Guys, can you pls drop the word “God”? it is so misleading to people who are new on this forum. Mind twists this notions and it takes us further from what reality IS.
  17. This is exactly how I feel… also, I don’t think there can be multiple POVs at all experiencing the world since those povs are not in my direct experience and the direct experience is all there is.
  18. This post is a honey for my soul. Thanks 🙏
  19. @tsuki Great, thanks for the feedback....
  20. Another crazy synchronicity... I was driving the car last night, and your part 1 of these series popped up as a suggestion on my home page on the YT. So I am contemplating about part 1.
  21. Sacred intimacy, or when two become one. Lately, I have been questioning this phenomenon a lot. Five years ago, before even knowing the concept of the twin flame I wrote an essay with my vision of sacred relationship. The main idea of the essay was to meet another being, aka myself through a masculine counterpart and transcend my ego which would lead me into spiritual enlightenment. Last year I met a guy who triggered a profound change within me and shook my whole entire life. By far it has been the most challenging relationship I have ever had in my life. It is a relationship with myself! it breaks my ego. Lesson I’ve learned: - To love myself - To get rid of the social limitations about the traditional relationship - To be in the present moment - There is no “I” Every time I interact with him, I have some huge profound epiphanies about masculine and feminine nature. The only question I have is about the nature of projection. It feels like my mind, being in love, can project a lot of my qualities onto the other Being. How do I catch it and not project? By just observing the experience of our relationship and go with the flow? Choice is illusion, is it all about spontaneity? I am recreating the person in my mind, idea about the guy, and every time I do this, he appears exactly as I am creating him. -----> This leads me to the biggest realization of my life, call it God mode: I am the Creator and the experience itself. Thank you for your help.
  22. @Nahm It is going to be your response on every post of mine. I got it.... @Iesu yup
  23. I've never mentioned the word "box" please read my post again. I wrote that everything is Consciousness.....which images Reality. Nothing and Everything are just dualities. I cant move any further with language.... @Terell Kirby the thing is that mind can not hold the paradox, it is going to break up my mind....this life/incarnation has never happened, time/space/3d are just illusions.