Javfly33

Nature, running, running in nature. Not necessary in that order. Arquitecture. And also to Have a warm cup of coffee in London town in a rainy day

Why it is that sometimes that when I start doing serious spiritual work it feels that I am slowly trascending the bullshit of my identity, becoming super conscious detaching from my thoughts and realizing I AM NOT my identity and I can be anything, but other times actually I am getting towards the healing and facing all of the wounds of my personhood? They seems opposites. It just happened today. I broke in tears today after a couple of weeks of feeling like I was "untouchable", I was doing kundalini yoga 3 hours a day last week, very intense breathing exercises that I thought I have found gold and going to become free of my identity, but today actually it went 180º and I had an intense realization of an emotional wound I havent´healed. I started crying and accepting myself and this happened I think because the ego wasn´t present so emotional release was allowed. But still I have to accept like 98% of my demons. ----- Do I basically have to stop behaving as ego (judging myself), and start being more God (loving myself) to heal completely?

That obviously I need to heal, but it seems it's never ending. When I enter high states of awareness it seems all of this problems are just thoughts, so when "emotional releases" like this happens even though they feel it should happen, other part of me is saying, maybe this is just more BS

I think it´s important to diferenciate between ego, and personality. You are referring to personality, but to who this personality occurs? To the one who thinks is a separate, different, unique self, to the "ego". A "mind" can act different. A "body" can move different. But an ego? Ego is the "lie" itself. Ego is the misperception itself. The misperception is the same in all beings! For example, imagine that this being started confusing the red with the green colour. Whether you are black or white, you live in a america or australia, or you are a men or a woman, the "confusion" between red and green colour is literally the same. I am saying the confusion, the miscerpetion that we call "ego", is the same. Is not personal, how can a mere confusion could be personal?

There is just one "ego", really The lower self "you" is nothing more than the ego. For example, what is difference between my body and your body? The idea that you consider my body is a kind of part of "me", and your body is a kind of "you". But this is absolutely not true! The ego is not in the body! In the same sense, does a rock in Australia have a different "soul" than a rock in California? Why do you assume some any different to human bodies then?

You already dead! No need to harm anything. Observation and a quiet mind is the skill you´ll need to master .

In Yoga a lot of Kriyas and Pranayamas have the mere single goal of traning your concentration . The why is your hability to raise your state of consciousness depends much on your concentration. If the mind is not concentrated, then consciousness can´t neither be "concentrated" (you get me?) Another term for concentration is "mind focused on only thing". That´s why many spiritual practices also they are simply just "focus on this single point for the most amount time of stuff". The mind slow downs, internal dialogue slows down, so energy instead of being diverted in 1000 things, it start to get focused on One thing...so an opportunity is created for "things to happen".

Oh man I had some really special moments while running through nature too, I thought I was the only one haha. I gotta go back to doing it

Well, yeah, technically depending on what we understand by "living his life". I meant that in the sense of living as a human identity withouth wanting to go any further.

Depending on his development (and age) Some people probably will be better off living life than pursuing awakening tbh.

Now that´s what I call an excellent set and setting I´happy for you! You are me. Good that you remembered who you are

I suspect you would have to use it in combination with a MAOI, to make the duration long enough. But please do your research, I´m in no way a chemist.

No idea.

LOL I can see myself going down the same path. Funny story for sure. I´m going to save that one for the future.

I can tell you my own personal anecdotical evidence, one friend of my father did stop using methadone (which is even nastier to quit than heroin) after just 1 session of Bufo alvarius, so I´m pretty sure Leo´s story is legit, other story is how my father´s friend is now... usually people need to start transforming their lives after such experiences, is not just take a pill and you are done. But the mere fact it gives you that opporutinty is already gold ill give you that.

When thoughts are arising instead of you thinking the thoughts. When they arise you can choose which thoughts you give them energy/find them interesting, and which not. When you are the thoughts, or the one thinking the thoughts, then there´s no possibility to choose, you just go where the mind wants to go.

I do have pictures of yoga exercises but unfortunately the explanations are in spanish. You can always try using a translator so with the help of the pictures, you can basically sort out how to do all the exercises pretty clear. I think it´s worth it. I can PM you the pictures if you like.

Isn´t this just eating once a day at night? PD: Not trying to de-motivate you btw, I actually encourage you to try fasting it will surely be good for you, and yeah meditation + eating less they go hand in hand for better results

Bro I don´t see a problem with it I actually have basically the same vision BUT the difficult thing is how to survive with so little. One strategy could be getting a remote job, so the rest of the day you can spend it meditating. Then once you have saved enough off that remote job, you get youself some basic self-sufficient home technologies like solar panels and some other stuff like that, and then you reduce living to the absolutely minimum to be able to spend the rest of your live meditating with those savings. Once you have some savings, I actually don´t see it so difficult, as long as you don´t spend absolutely anything and you eat very little (which won´t be a problem once you have high levels of consciousness). The question is will you have the balls to actually do it. Is easy to say it from home, but making the decision to actually do it, and living the risk of living off basic survival (once you have quit the remote job and you are living on savings) will require that you are actually serious with this. Also, let me point one risk and that would be the elastic curve of inflation and unpredictable economy. Who knows how money will be 20 years from now? Maybe the dollars from today won´t value as much. In this case to avoid this risk you could get yourself some land and some animals but then you are fucked because then you´d depend on society.

Bro don´t ruin my excitement for the discovery Let me enjoy the shock and awe i´m in, while it lasts.

The most i have reached is the sense "I Am". The good thing is that "I am" is previous to any categorizing of the mind. I am is literally who you are. You are. Therefore there aren´t any questions really for me, because the mere substance of reality is that what you are. All kind of perceptions and sensory stuff happens within this substance.

Who is this "we". There is no "we". There is only One playing games here.

I am conscioussness experimenting myself. Conscioussness have infinite dreams, and I am one of it's dreams. You are too, but "you" doesn't make much sense. Because there's no "you", just conscioussness. It feels like a dream because it can't be anything else but imagination and creativity. LOL

Start by doing the practices and then later in the future you´ll worry about if you stop doing some of those low-consciousness activities.

Yeah i support this. @Christer Although I must say, I was also afraid of the dark, (way less than you), and it wasn´t until I encountered a "dark set and setting" with several psychedelics in low doses that I had to face my fear. When nothing is pushing you to the fear you just keep procrastinating. The weird thing is, I don´t know yet why I had that fear. I would say it has gone away like 70% of it, but I had no idea what it was lol. For the OP I would suggest very low doses if you decide to go ahead with psychs