Javfly33

@RobertZ yes they are in this case. They are deeply related with my LP and I need to master them before I can proceed to my LP I really want the lifestyle. But I doubt I could land a better job if I quit it. Maybe one without night shift would be better, but then probably it would be even more precarious idk it's a shitty situation

Maybe I have understood this two phrases way too literally. But, if the dream character I am identified with is Imaginary, I wasn't born of my father's, genetics are imaginary, and my suffering is being created by me (as God) to give me context and meaning to the dream, then...the following "crazy idea" arised: What if the whole 'trip' about my life, (which was mainly social anxiety), was 100% imagined by God to create the perfect foundation to accomplish afterwards a magistral plot twist in the story of the dream character, which was that, in the pursue of trying to heal itself of the suffering of this illness, started to pursue Spirituality and self development, and started to discover that, instead of existing fundamental differences between "Me" and "Others" (which is mainly what causes social anxiety in my case), started slowly deconstruct the differences, realizing the differences were a projection of the mind and are relative, and thus the more the dream character did that, the more the suffering got reduced, because it started to be revealed that there were less and less differences between "Me" and "Others" and less separations. The more the dream character would pursue Truth, the more the suffering would get reduced, since less and less differences between him and others would exist. Therefore elevating Trust and Love, and reducing fear and Hate (either projected to the "Others" or perceived of being received by them). Basically the Truth would be the good fucking news. And the illness would be the perfect metaphor of "the mind was what created the hell". It would all be a magistral designed dream where every piece of the puzzle fits shockingly good ?? Anyways... This is a completely crazy, psychotic and bizarre idea, but it was just an example of what it would look like to approach the explanation of a mental illness from the perspective of "Reality is Imaginary" Vs Reality is material, which would be more like "You had this illness partly because of genetics and partly because of childhood conditioning" and that would be it.

I'm truly a creator then Lol ?

Imo social anxiety is just an imagination that arises from vibrating in low levels of the spiritual spiral (fear/hate). @Nahmopinion? The solution is slowly choosing higher vibration thoughts/feelings/emotions which will elevate you slowly from that low vibration towards Love, which is what we are striving for (since we are love, we are just seeking ourselves)

I'm not sure how this applies to my daily life. What is that I need to do to stop feeling anxious around people exactly ? Thanks for your help hope you can help me

Because there is Only ONE

Lol it doesn't sound staged no....?

Update; it seems my terrible comedown is deeply related with the type of fantasy/porn I jerk myself too. Recently I've been hitting some Consciousness breakthroughs in self love and I'm begging to fantasize and orgasm with normal sex and enjoying my masculine side, and the comedown is almost non existent! Before I used to orgasm with femdom / BDSM porn. It's crazy how psychology can affect the body. I was basically killing myself and how bad it felt after orgasming was such an obvious message of the body.

@Breakingthewall thanks for the message but in practical terms what does that mean in terms of action for me?

Again, is that situation which makes you feel bad or is the thought about what does mean that feels bad? "She didn't even took the time time to write me, that means that I am..." Complete the sentence in your mind. If you stop analysing the behaviour of women to you as a way of "proving" that you are X or Y, wouldn't that be an amazing relief? Try it.

Yeah right? Because what does thought tells about you? It happens the same to me, it's totally a projection of our minds.

@Leo Gura If that moment would have been Absolute Truth, why do I still have a doubt? If it's Absolute, wouldn't make that impossible to even trick myself to doubt it? For example, if I see the colour red, the colour is absolute. I can't deny myself that the colour red exists. If Truth is the present moment, then Ok, because you can't deny the present moment. But The interpretation of the present moment, such as "this is a dream because I just died into the spoon and I can't find myself" after the mystical experience is just...an interpretation. That's why I still have fear of death. Do you see where I'm going Leo?

@Leo Gura I "realized" on 4-aco-dmt come up that I was literally the spoon I was moving with my fingers. That until now was the most clear non dual state I reached. But what? Is "just" a state, insight, realization, hallucination, feeling, or whatever. It is not Truth. If it was, I would have stopped playing the game. In the sober life the realization is that I am SEPARATE from the spoon and the spoon might exist outside of me. And that separation is as real as the psychedelic state, sorry to break it to you. It seems we have different goals of what Truth is. For me Truth must be always clear, not only in a meditative or psychedelic state.

That the chair in front of me is not me/us. That's what I mean with materialism

@Nahm Yeah. And anyway since "I" can't be Enlightened it has been reveiled there's nothing for me to achieve in terms of "getting enlightened" that's why I'm going self development again and forgetting Spirituality for a long time

I've been told by users in this forum that women "despise and hate beta-doormat men". Is this true or is it a belief? If right now my behaviour is that of a "beta" I don't think I should hate myself for it. I think I should accept it and try to change to be a confident guy. But I get the impression that some people in this forum try to say that I should hate myself from for it??¿¿ Am I fundamentally unattractive and hated by women ? I must confess before some users telling me that, I already had this belief of being hated and despised by women Honestly I don't know if this belief it's a side effect of my main social anxiety or that my social anxiety arised from this belief. It's probably the first but anyways...just to give you guys some context

@ivankiss thanks for sharing, although I don't mean that kind of hate. I mean more in the "you are not worthy to be alive" kind of hate

Definitely B. I know I project my authority. But it's all part of getting out of the trip. The trip = social anxiety/self hate etc. @Shin thank bro

And they don't find me attractive because .... A) I'm fundamentally unattractive from being born Or... B) I'm behaving in a way that is not a attractive, and I can change that because it's all an act ? (And therefore be attractive)

My man ??? We need more real 'shit' like this.

Who told you that...

Then you ain't really tripping property. My first trips of Lsd completely vanished thought loops of thought stories of obsessions/ocd/ego Careful with what psychedelics you use. Personally for example 5-meo-dmt or DMT do nothing for me in my sober life.

Only absolute truth exists. That's why it's absolute. Look around, that's absolutely true ?

The notion of drug, altered, and experience are concepts that appear and are understood in your current level of consciousness and brain state. Why do you believe your current consciousness level and brain state is THE TRUTH to compared to any "altered" state that differs from it? You ain't that smart, smart ass

Dumb me in the middle of the peak of my last LSD trip being all high I confessed to my roommate that I was her and Reality was love. Because I was conscious there was no physical reality and the flat we were on, with its chairs, floors, walls, windows, etc was Us and it was Love. She said that she had an intuition that we are One (probably she had read non dual/new age literature) but she wasn't Conscious at all because she said that reality wasn't all love. That they were also bad things. Of course she didn't understand me. I meant that the physical reality she thought she was living in was actually LOVE haha (because I was conscious there was no separation between my body , the chair and her = no separation = love) . But now I'm sober and not high on LSD anymore and it all seems like a great experience but actually now I feel separated from her. Because she's imaginary and just a thought in my mind. Maybe she doesn't exist now. Maybe this moment is the only that exists and that's what it means to be "in Union". Alone.