Javfly33

@OneHandClap In the retreat I become conscious I was awake in my own dream. I just snapped my fingers and saw my body and realized I was fucking dream material with the objects that were in the room. That was it. Game over. Now I can doubt it. Sure. That's the way I m going to be able to "play this". By doubting it. Definetely it was one of the most intense euphoric moments of "my life". It was extremely Solipsistic but also incredibly euphoric. I was fucking inmortal. There is no way to integrate that shit. I have to fall back to duality to forget that you are imaginary and this forum is actually right now in my mind.

Well now I don't know what to believe ? Honestly from my last retreat it seems there is an apparent @Javfly33 writing stuff talking to people but sometimes I get a kind of "lights out" or 'zoom out' like Nahm says, and it seems I have no idea what is going on... like There is no self. Yet the body moves and there are thoughts and so on As I said, there's no problem if I am God and you are all imaginary and I'm talking to myself. I just want to try to live as accordingly as I can to truth ?

@OneHandClap fair enough, ill contemplate seriously What you said. Its true that maybe Im relying too much on thought and intelectual understanding

I Dont buy It. Solipsism seems the truth by now...maybe its time to accept It.

The past is truth. I Dont agree with Leo saying "you are imagining there was a past" or "you are imagining you went to School". Of course i did. Other thing is that the School building, my childhood Friends, and my parents Cars were imagined by me. But they really existed (i did imagined them). Of course they existed in the NOW, But they did existed. So the past is truth. This is a different story from the "does the city exist when you are at your home mountain retreat? No because the present moment is all that exists. The present moment is God and IS me. If right now Im seeing a chair and a mountain, thats all that The universe is right now. There is no city right now existing anywhere. But on the other Hand there was at one point a city. Because the past existed.

??

@Zeroguy Please explain

Try a terrible/tough job for some weeks. Live in a terrible neighborhood for a couple of months Visit some war zone/mega ultra poor country. Etc

@Leo Gura Then why I can't have sex with my coffee table or have a deep conversation about politics with the lamp of my bedroom... See I don't have a problem accepting that I might be creating a coffee table with my Consciousness, but...people?? The whole thing about sex that makes it exciting is that A) I'm connecting with somebody and feeling loved (emotional/ego fueled motivation) B) I'm passing my genes (survival fueled motivation) Both motivations would be ridiculous if verified than the girl I'm having sex with is as imaginary as a coffee table! Can't you see I wouldn't be able to fuck her the same if I become conscious I am creating her with my Consciousness ? It seems that the only solution would be to forgetting the Truth and believing that there is some speck of hope that the dual paradigm could be true. But...I'll give it time, maybe I can find the joy in having sex with myself one day ?

@Leo Gura I mean if i discover it's a guy, I would lose the erection. If I discover people I talk to are unreal, by the same logic I should lose the interest and joy in interacting with them. The only way that makes sense to me about all of this is: Since One is the absolute, One can always doubt about his awakening (because nobody can verify your awakening for you) and that way One can always have the doubt of "maybe it's not a dream and it's real" and therefore excitement can still be there.

@AdeptusPsychonautica How do you explain then that you have intimate/direct access to Consciousness (Consciousness = Your Bubble) and "we" are outside of it? Your bubble = Direct Consciousness Access / Intimate We/Other People/Physical reality = You having an idea of "we" having Consciousness I mean it is a strange, to say the least. That's why some of us doubts the "assumptions" of physical reality existing in the first place.

Kinda Depressing? But also such a big relief to stop the fantasy of becoming "selfless" ?

@ZzzleepingBear yet emotional vulnerability it's sometimes bad strategy in much of the world we live in. In stage blue/orange societies, emotional vulnerability will get you fucked in the ass, it also won't get you laid If I'd live in a commune stage green/yellow my behaviour would change a lot. I would let go of much of my ego, I would flow and share more from the root and heart chakra energy, etc. But since I am not, I have to make this act of "I don't give a shit, you aint real anyway" to not feel empathic so I can be as selfish as I want and that way I can avoid getting fucked in the ass continually. As I said, the last 2 years I work a lot with connection, emotional vulnerability, etc and honestly all that it reached me is that people are selfish as Fuck, they don't have a clue about non duality so they NEVER will see you as themselves. And so since I can't fucking stand being a selfish prick since I know I am them, solipsism is great because if they are not even real I can behave like a real asshole with no remorse ?

Really Leo? If you get a blowjob and then it turns out it was a guy, would you agree to him giving you another once you have dispelled the illusion that it was a girl? Would you enjoy it the same ? I don't think so.

Or maybe I'm right and you are just my imagination trying to make fall asleep to duality again. ???

You seem very resentful with God (yourself). Remember you created this limitation, it's kind of Lol to think about God as this evil guy outhere. You complaining is God complaining.

Also if you feel jealous of somebody, and it turns out they don't exist, the whole jealous problem dissappears LOL

@Thought Art But it has helped in my social anxiety and behaving more confident in social settings, the fact of realising that other people's minds don't exist. For example if I do something or if I talk to somebody and I cringe the fuck out when I remember the situation, then if I remind myself that the truth is what it is (direct experience), it instantly makes me feel good/relaxed because it makes me realize that I am imagining the whole situation (them thinking I'm weird or bad or whatever). And fuck it, this is the truth. The truth is me walking towards somebody and THATS IT. The truth is not that person watching or thinking about me. That's an IDEA I have. See? It helps. And is the truth.

@TrueGod you read my mind man. I've been doing after my retreat 2 days off 1 day yes of social media and basically its like day and night. I feel so much joyful and relaxed when i Dont enter that shit every 10 fucking minutes . Defintely Will do It more and increase the ratio of the days off, thank you for the advice man!

No, I'm saying I'm God and you are imaginary. Stop tricking me into believing that material reality is real. Your bubble of experience does not exist because I'm imagining you, only my bubble exist. Please confirm this.

@Nahm You Read my mind ??

Thanks, that is inspiring! I hope one day i can become that THX for sharing, But if we are God doesnt that Mean that for example if we are at our room thats the whole universe and other people or cities or parties just doesnt exist?

Yeah, you might have a point. I think i might have developed some kind of spiritual ego. It doesnt change the fact that I'm God & Real and you are only imaginary tho' ?

Yes, very good. We are One

Of course. I know What is true, i know you are just an idea in my mind. i know i am creating you . You are just a figment of my imagination that hasnt yet accepted its own Godhood. Time to accept some stuff brother