Javfly33

Today I was sitting in a bench, blissing myself out just because , when...it hit me. Of course! Of course meditation is not supposed to fix or help you reach your goals and desires, and attachments. Of course. Meditation is not about the self. Meditation works for you to just make sure that you are always you. With that all entails. Happiness, peace, nothingness, death, right here. And if apart from that, you want to pursue goals attachments and stuff you think you need, by all means, go for it, switch Off the Self, attach to the mind, and try to pilot the beast the best you can, but know that meditation won´t follow you there. You will be alone fighting the wolves with the other wolves. And that´s fine. Not saying that is bad. It is what it is. Attachment, desire, play, it´s Ok. We came here to play. But Meditation is not about playing the game. Don´t expect meditation to help you become rich, don´t expect it to help you pick-up chicks, don´t expect it to help you become even charismatic or fun. Meditation cares strictly about You. Nothing more, nothing less.

@Fearless_Bum Thats not the intention. Bro, maybe coffee for you doesnt do you much, i Dont know. Look, i have reasons to quit. Its more than being the cool guy. For me, before I started to quit coffee, i used to do 1 coffee once I woke Up, and another at the afternoon. That was It. And lately, (the last 2-3 months) I remember waking Up feeling TERRIBLE until i managed to fix myself the first cup of coffee. Then, i would go from feeling like a zomby to feeling jittery and "all around the place" in a Matter of 20 minutes, so i would have to chug at least 1.5gr of Red Kratom to comedown of that anxious stimulation. By that time i wanted to start quitting kratom and It wasnt easy because i would feel so jittery and "on the edge" after taking a coffee. Now, you could say that It wasnt the coffee, It was kratom WD, But, turns out, Im still doing kratom everynight. Now i only do about 1gr through the whole day , and at the end of the day, (the days i keep my caffeine dose the same) i feel FINE like i havent felt in ages. Also, i enjoy an overall CALM through the whole day since I drink coffee, as someone with some social anxiety, i feel much more calm and grounded, I actually think not drinking coffee IS helping dramatically my mindfulness ability also. I just feel more grounded through the day wherever i am. Anyways, that was It. Just to let you know that i am not quitting It to be cool. I just think It really damages long term my ability to feel calmed and relaxed. I remember working on coding projects while drinking coffee and feeling all over the place. Building stuff , and deleting It, over and over, because i couldn't Focus on a single Page of documentation for more than 20 seconds. Now i Dont feel those "productivity peaks" But i just go slowly and thinking through What i want to build and design before coding anything. I Dont know, It just feels more healthy and conscious to be naturally energized on your own motivation and own resources of the body, not on a dopamine-noradrenaline pedal that comes and goes. But that is perspective. Maybe coffee doesnt affect your sistem at all and you Will be fine with It

A body

Lol. Enjoy your coffee addiction ?

I know What you mean, But i decided to switch to energy drinks because It was difficult for me to measure how much caffeine i was drinking. Also i was unable to divide the coffee in morning - afternoon and i ended Up always drinking It everything at once at the morning . Too "bingeful" for me that first cup in the morning. Im sorry @Michael569 But as much as I appreaciate your posts and wisdown in nutrition, i feel you have a bias towards coffee here. I find It shocking that you say that one cup per day wont give me an addiction, when the mere fact that i would have to take 1 cup per day to not feel bad IS basically What a physical dependence is. The fact that you guys wont ever accept that "having to" take anything daily to feel normal and on homeostasis is not only because coffee might be a Safe high its because your body is hooked on It . Not to say that coffee IS the worst drug ever, Dont get me wrong. Im just saying, i prefer to not feel that much as stimulated. Personally, after feeling What It is to work / study withouth caffeine, i really Dont see any reason to come back to that dopamine-noradrenaline rollercoaster as long as my WD symptons of tiredness and sleepyness goes away.

Prove to me that you can do mahasamadhi. I doubt It.

?I see ?Got it

Really? Those seems like really good news. But then It wouldn't be a "forced" 'there', right? I mean... If meditation is there, then whatever is happening is happenning effortlessly, which in my experience is the opposite in how It feels when Im trying to "achieve my goals", in some of them i feel a resistance which *seems, is asking for a separate self to appear and control them. Would you agree that the meaning of "pursuing" or even "doing" would become contextualized because there wouldnt be a self/control that decides anything?

You are not boring. Your body is god´s body. There must be some energy or aspect of yourself that you must be rejecting/blocking so you are lame in conversations. It might be good time to go back to psychedelics a little bit and inspect/contemplate. I find hard to believe that if you truly find a girl attractive, you are not exploding of expresiveness/enthuasiasm with her. So either find women who you really find attractive (I am not only saying pyhsically, i mean the whole thing) or considerate you might be "blocking" yourself.

Still feeling sleepy most afternoons even though i´m putting 8-9 hours of sleep each night. COFFEE WD is fucked up

Updating. Soon I will be doing 2 months since I started doing the taper off caffeine. Currently I am doing about 120mg of caffeine each day, from an energy which I doubt that caffeine is even active because I don´t feel it at all. I am experiencing significant WD tiredness symptons through the day. I been getting the caffeine from a Monster energy drink but not carbonated. THIS STILL SUCKS.

"Other" is a concept. Never Direct experience. Quite mindfuck right there .

First, i am not emotionally bad or something like that But i thought because of respect to other subforums, i should post this here. Secondly, take this post with a grain of salt. This is just a thought experiment. My question is the following: What if my ego is creating and maintaing the social anxiety illness as the last defense against Truth/Non duality? If i ever would feel the same with other people, stop doing comparisons, etc, i could really see all of my reality would crumble. Because then i would have no option than to accept that all diferencies are relative and i am not real. What if social anxiety is my egos shadow to prevent itself from Truth?

I must confess, Beef really goes well with my digestive system and brain. I never have comedown of energy when I eat beef, but I do when I eat pasta, rice, bread, etc Even chicken has a "there is something not 100% right with this" but Beef feels better. I try to get the good quality beef, I hope is mainly grass fed and move around the fields. I don't go as high as ecological because its ludicrous expensive but I try my best. Right now I'm at stage of empowering myself in masculine energy so I think eating this kind of meat is not that bad. Fortunately it helps me to produce more testosterone. What is your view on this?

There is no body! Thats the mindfuck

I was in my room and suddenly I heard my roommate , who is my landlord too, just arrived and was talking with another roommate (both of them are girls). I wanted to go out and give her the money of the month since in two days she will be traveling away. Suddenly realized I was feeling resistance to come out of the room. Da fuck. I didn't understand why. But that situation of suddenly walking out of the door and saying something had some kind of that "social anxiety" energy that was giving me resistance. But I said fuck it, lets be destroyed and feel. And with two pair of balls I walk out of that door, and just when I'm finishing saying "X, here's the money" suddenly the other roommate made a silly joke-gesture like saying "for me, for me" and THEN because they thought it wouldn't be enough to humiliate the loser enough, the other roommate made a joke about my outfit. At this point I'm basically mind-fogged, in the inside I feel like I am being attacked by 2 bullies, I can't even defend myself. I feel this feeling of impotence of not being able to defense myself. I re-conducted the conversation smartly to stopped feeling like I was being attacked by the joke. Then I went back to my room and cried in impotence and that feeling of abuse for some good minutes. Yes, sirs, I am fucking crazy.

@Rilles +1 I agree with you. The mind projects and then acts like it didn't project and it's actually "out there" what is protecting.

--I wasn't sure where to post this. I decided this subforum since it includes psychedelics. Yesterday I did micro dose of lsd with no intention, just because once in a while I like to . However something that I did not expected happened. I started meditating and I got a sudden massive raise of my consciousness which lasted the whole afternoon. About 5-6 hours. During these hours, I decided to go out to take a walk. There was nobody in the street. I felt calm. And then I see this guy about 100m from me walking towards me. Suddenly I realized a thought of what I would call "paranoid socially anxious thought". Once I saw it, it was over, I stopped "attaching myself" to that thought (and the ones which would come after that one), once I REALLY SAW that it was JUST A THOUGHT and NOT TRUTH ( in other words, direct experience). This was such a mindfuck/breakthrough because for the first fucking time I walked passed a person like I walked pass a rock, 0 and no trace any kind of "anxiety". ----- Here comes the good news, because everybody can have a "realization" while high on acid. I thought today since the effects must have worked off (since it wasn't a trip, but just a micro dose) everything would be back to normal, but... NO, I am still aware how any kind of anxiety or weirdness in social situations is literally the mind creating referential-paranoid thoughts. It's really amazing the power of consciousness and the power of Truth. I hope I can keep inspecting and differentiating between Truth and thoughts and set myself free of the mind.

Paraphrasing Leo here in one of his last videos: "Women don't care about physical beauty in a man. They already have the beauty. They care about masculine traits, etc....". And I agree with him. They definitely seem to give looks little importance. Then why at the same time at online dating there's plenty of people that say the photos are EVERYTHING and it's meaningless using the description/bio...etc? Also, if in Online they care that much for looks, then I expect if I have a date, then I will get sex almost guaranteed right?

First of all let all be blessed we don't have to endure any kind of chronic physical pain illness. But yesterday because of being irresponsible I ate a lot and afterwards I endure about 20-30 minutes of very intense stomach cramps. What I observed is that in this kind of constant pain feelings (the cramps were constant) Consciousness contracts a lot into 2-3 Seconds in the present moment. What you first observe in this states of constant physical pain is that you can't anymore be thinking about how bored you are or the problems of your life because your Consciousness is constantly focused on the physical sensations (In fighting them/rejecting them). It's not a non dual NOW awareness since it's actually painful, but you can observe it has a certain spiritual aspect. Because one of the thoughts you have is "Fuck, when this is over, I won't fuck around anymore, Ill be content with just not having this pain, I promise". You realize how arrogant you are in not being already content with just being Aware of stuff and not be in pain. Its a lesson in humility for the ego, although of course when it ends the ego soon goes back. But yeah I found it interesting to share. Not sure if you guys have a similar opinion and observations with physical pain and consciousness.

Shut down your phone and go experience real Life buddy

Amazing, that's great news. God-bless you man ?

@Leo Gura right! However, my main "concern" is, wouldnt they screen for that in here?? ????

@Michael569 It Definetely helps, that gives me a more broad and complete perspective on the question

I just realized the most mindfucky thing. When i scroll through social media, when i watch those mini second YouTube videos, or when i wait in those seconds for the WhatsApp to open and load the messages... My mind is totally blank. Im seeking Buddha mind in each scroll, each Porn search, or each checking into my DMs. And then i realized another mindfucky thing...? That I can become conscious enough to make a "screenshot" on the quality of my Consciousness when its scrolling/waiting for DMs to load, and then, i can turn off all distractions, sit on my room , look at an object or at empty space, and re-create the "Screenshot" of Consciousness i made and sit in this "dopamine high" (is actually Consciousness/Buddha nature, but anyways) for as long as i want. Dont believe, actually do It. If you wonder What this "Screenshot" looks like, just do the experiment and observe how intensely your Consciousness is focused on the Now, with no thoughts, and, i would say, with a Safe/completedness energy field, in those 1-2seconds before the Server loads the messages in your app and you can finally start reading them. So having the ability to recreate this, at any given moment, gives you basically the power of Consciousness. Truly a twisted masterpiece how the illusion works. And quite the celebration to finally have Broken through It. ??