Widdle Puppy

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  1. Posted · Edited by Widdle Puppy

    Two questions 

    - I'm sitting half lotus with one pillow. My legs fall asleep after 5-10 minutes. Should I  expect to be sitting long periods in this position?

    - on lesson 4 I'm doing the concentration exercise for five minutes. I close my eyes, focus from the back of my head and look forward between my eyebrows my eyes twitch a ton when I do this and my head feels murky and full of toxic waste. No light or sounds... is this normal?

  2. Posted

    From my experience most guys who are trying to be alpha aren't really alpha and are just insecure and tryhard.

    I'd say the most "alpha" guys are those that are able to raise the feeling of a room and make everyone feel good and have fun. Being detached, uninhibited, able to lead, confident in self and be socially aware. The same things are always thrown around like "be yourself " "be confident" this is true but there is a ton to unpack there. Thousands of hours of work to grow yourself to be authentic and confident and content being yourself. 

  3. Posted

    I would say what works for me is have a routine. It doesn't have to be super elaborate. Infact keep it more simple anand build on it. Start a morning routine and a night routine. Wake up and for the first hour or two do some stretching, exercises and some meditation/yoga/breathing then perhaps make a to do list for the the day. At night turn your screen off one hour before bed, take a shower,  read/journal under candle light, then sleep. This sort of morning and night routine can be very powerful. Make sure to wake up the same time every day and go to bed as well. Right now I'm doing well on the weekdays with this but I can't seem to carry it into the weekend so I'm going to tweak it and allow for one late night of partying. 

  6. Posted

    I feel like I struggle to do personal development work. I am not really able to focus on tasks I write down and also I feel like I don't have any specific goals I'm motivated by to create something amazing. I just have this broad general vision where I want to avoid feeling depressed or negative. I feel like this is further made difficult by the people I'm surrounded by. I'm debating if I should live alone or not. On one hand it is good to have roommates since there are many positive things that come from this but also I feel like their negative mindsets and lifestyles sort of clash with mine. I'm unsure what to do. 

  12. Posted · Edited by Widdle Puppy

    I'm having a similar experience. One thing that I can't seem to do is keep my daily meditation habit and stay grounded in my spirituality. I just can't keep to it. There are just so many fucking distractions. I think it's really important to do some of that focus breathing daily (anapanasati). Even just trying to do meditation it doesn't really do much with all these distractions, hangovers, lusting over parties later, etc. Sometimes I wonder if I made all sorts of counter intuitive choices to change my life if I would just lose all ambition and I would become a hermit that just sits around and meditates all day but Leo said this is wrong and a number of other shared wisdom has said so as well. I think we have to sometimes take some action based on faith and if it doesn't work out just try again. It's scary but I'll keep trying to get my daily meditation habit going again. I feel just better when I do it and like the choices I make are better for me but I just fall out of it constantly for a few days on end and it is really demoralizing. I'm thinking of finding a therapist to talk to also as it can be helpful to work through limiting beliefs. 

  14. Posted · Edited by Widdle Puppy

    On 11/2/2018 at 10:34 PM, aurum said:

    Ground yourself in your spiritual practice. Get a daily meditation habit going if you don’t already to keep yourself emotionally centered.

    The rewards will come when you are ready, not a moment too soon or a moment too late. This is more than about just pickup. It’s about you learning to consistently tap into who you really are.

    I've had a couple dates since and it's hard. It feels like I'm backsliding a little also. I'm trying to deal with this fear of things not going how I want and just being detached and not caring and allowing myself to have fun and enjoy the process. I had a date yesterday and although it seemed to go pretty well it just didn't make me feel how I wanted it to. I think I have a perfectionist problem and an inner game issue of really wanting validation from doing well and am afraid of things not going how I want them to. I feel fixated on making sure I make out with every date I go on. I find myself afraid of falling in the friend zone if I don't or being put to the side for someone else and it makes me worry about if all the effort I put in will go to waste. I feel totally confused right now. 

  15. Posted

    anyone have any tips for finding a reputable retreat and shaman? I'll start googling but is there a site for looking at ratings and finding reputable and safe shamans to do a ayahuasca retreat? preferably one with a healing aspect to the ritual and is willing to take on a person who has a lot of mental baggage. I think I'm ready only some fear is holding me back... but I feel like I can really heal and learn from an experience like this.

  16. Posted · Edited by Widdle Puppy

    On 10/30/2018 at 0:23 AM, aurum said:

    First thing you need to do is just sit and feel.

    Don't even meditate, that's already doing too much. Just go somewhere you can be alone, sit down, and just feel whatever is going on inside your body. Good, bad, happy, sad, ugly, scary, doesn't matter. Don't try to feel, just feel.

    Do this for however long you want, but I would suggest at least 30 minutes.

    You're probably be shocked how much you're unconsciously stuffing down by running around and not taking the time to do this.

    Emotions come and they go. The way you don't bottle things up is simply by doing what I'm talking about. You just feel. And if something wants to express itself physically like crying or punching something, you can do that too.

    That alone will do a lot of the healing. But also reflect using that set of questions I gave you and logically breakdown what happened. Is the story your mind is telling you absolutely true?

    Anyway, this is a good thing that's happening. These are often the kind of moments when you grow.

    Thanks for the advice.

    I did a bit of reflecting and there exists this sort of broad contradiction in my mind. 

    So basically I can see there is this "FLOW" deficiency in my dating life. I stick to sort of trying the same thing over and over. Some things I've reaped the low hanging fruit from and it feels good but it isn't getting me the results I "need" and it's making it hard to progress and is demoralizing since I'm now sort of starting to hate the process . I have some emotional issues on the inside. I'm in this bad habit loop of seeking validation and the current paradigm or process I'm using isn't working. I'm attached to it however and a rejection of it is a rejection of ME and that hurts and it makes the challenge feel redundant and like it's impossible for ME to continue to progress. It's like I'm stuck on the second level of a video game :\   

    I need to do healing on the inside but I'm not sure how to do that separately since it seems like dating is really one of the few things I feel actually makes a lot of this painful stuff inside surface. Let's say I just gave up on dating now which I have for the last few months earlier this year. Life was comfortable and I felt "good" but I know I wasn't being challenged in any way and sort of fell into a lazy/depressed state. The stuff on the inside wasn't coming to the surface and in a weird way from that perspective I felt "healthy/comfortable" but I could feel underneath I wasn't and it would only fester down there. But now that I'm doing dating again it's exposing a lot of this painful stuff to myself and I'm trying to find a way to make the whole process a proper challenge and not something that is just going to bring up tons of pain and then me throwing in the towel because it was so demoralizing and a lack of any validation.

    Any advice you have for figuring out how strike a balance of process and using that for validation and reward rather than falling into the age old unhealthy habit loop of "challenge -> validation & reward y/n -> pain/emptiness"  ??? 

  20. Posted · Edited by Widdle Puppy

    On 10/27/2018 at 7:51 PM, aurum said:

    Just stay sober and keep putting yourself out there. When you have those painful lessons, don't just ignore them. Reflect and become aware.

    Why did this happen? What could i have done better? Why did this hurt? Why did I need this to go well? Can I let this go?

    Your successes can also be healing because you realize that the world isn't as against you as you thought. They reinforce that good things can happen to you and that you deserve them.

    There's no magic pill that I've found. Even to this day, I still have experiences like what you're talking about. That's the conditioned mind.

    Just keep going out and being social as much as possible thoughout your day. Build a social circle. And stay present to those experiences that make you feel like you're going to die.

    When you're not doing that, work on your inner game via all the stuff Leo talks about.

    Speaking of why did this hurt... I had a date a few days ago with a really cute girl who I had a lot of common in with and really was my type. We made out some and it just went well. I tried to get her back to my place after and I think she wasn't ready for this proposition and how I went about it. She unfollowed me then a few days later on social media... I know I shouldn't be overly invested on a first date and usually I'm not so bothered by stuff like this but this one for inner reasons really hurt me. I found myself willing to show the "real me" on this date and let down some emotional armor on this date. I've been depressed the last few days. It feels kind of pathetic to be triggered this badly by just a first date but there is a ton to unpack here and it really has me fucked up.... Do you have any advice on how to reflect and learn from stuff like this? I see it as a start at least. I don't wanna be one of those guys that's just like "suck it up and move on" since it feels like an inner issue that I would just be bottling up. 

  21. Posted · Edited by Widdle Puppy

    Todd V. Easily the best teacher of pick up and technical dating advice. I feel like I've learned so much from him. 

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo9XJennsRNhyPbXCq6e8aw

    For dealing with the emotional side of things there is 6 Pillars of Self Esteem and then other domains of life you can explore which will help your mood such as exercise/weight lifting and meditation (wim hof is a really masculine type of breathing meditation I recommend.) 

    Also don't fall into the trap of poor information intake when it comes to pick up. Tons of garbage out there. Your relationship with women is 100% your responsibility to fix. Red pill is garbage and while there are some nuggets of wisdom scattered throughout it the entire ideology is basically victimhood and external factor focused mindsets.

    Getting good with women comes down to your own emotions and skills first and foremost, everything else comes second. Start implementing healthy habits of taking action, celebrate the small victories you have and don't ever be afraid to admit to yourself that you are awful with women and are taking action to improve!

  22. Posted · Edited by Widdle Puppy

    So I have a few weak areas and general lack of practice in pick up and dating but I've been improving and am starting to realize that I have to celebrate and take pleasures in my small victories and also admit I'm awful with women/clubs. So my dating life has basically been being the "lucky guy" and not doing anything to improve it. Recently I started doing cold approach and implementing plans to improve my dating life.

    I'm seeing some results. I started doing approaches this past month and got some numbers, from some really pretty girls too! :D I've got two different girls out on dates that ended with kissing and making out but I also noticed I get nervous and just anxious throughout and am stuck in my head often. It's like a fear and I can feel it in my body where I just feel "in the wrong" or numb Like I'm wrong for being social or bad for not knowing what to do or am bad for not being perfect, it's kind of hard to describe honestly. I feel like I don't know how to advance it further, get them back to my place, more thoughts rise, now I'm in my head, etc.

    I get this feeling much more strongly in clubs but I also made out with a really hot girl in the club (progress) before which is something I've never done. I feel like I'm learning and do see progress but how do you get comfortable celebrating your small victories? For example the time I kissed the girl at the club but I couldn't advance it beyond that since I got nervous, entered my head and weird emotions came up and then I started acting weird. I also had a number of options to open several other really attractive women but some anxiety appeared within me and so I left on a low note and although I made progress during this night I still have problems allowing myself to celebrate this cause I see my other faults. How do you take pleasure in small victories while still having this cloud of anxiety, fear and shame following you?

  23. Posted

    On 10/3/2018 at 4:31 PM, B_Naz said:

    Pick a day to restart.

    You see, once you're on the path of self-actualisation, there's no falling off track. Look at your current situation, you've tried the self actualisation and then you think you fallen but in fact, you're learning. You learn what failure is, you learn what your needs are, you learn what you want and what is deep within you. If these things weren't true, you would had not posted this thread on the forums

    See, you came back to the forums, and to the work. You will always come back and try again. You haven't lostbhope, you still have hope and this thread is proof. YOU CAME BACK! :)

    Pick the day (next Monday) and start again. This time, be even more aware of distractoons?

    The best meditation for me is just observation and self enquiry. It's simple, be aware of your thoughts, don't judge them, become detachand understand what they mean but look at Leo's beginner meditation again

    I love that you came back. I love you! Good luck

    Thanks so much for this post! 

  24. Posted · Edited by Widdle Puppy

    I have the same problem. I think something is seriously wrong with my mind and emotions. I'm just a numb person and I know there is this deep tension in me that I can't seem to release or let go. I'm wondering if even I had some perfect meditation habit in place if it would release. I know I used to feel emotions much more but now I can feel these scars in my mind which block. I wish they would just go away and I could move on with my life in  positive way but they are always there and always present. I'm wondering if psychedelics could help me clear up this trauma and guilt and shame.