abrakamowse

Mal, I am going to post the whole process soon. I really didn't believe in the interpretation the church gives to the Bible. But I was so desperately seeking that I thought that maybe I was wrong, and I was ready to accept anything to try to know by experience if that was true or not. For me it was like the maximum surrendering, it was not done in the "correct" way but it was the first time that I accepted to submit to "God". At that moment I didn't know exactly what God was, now for me the concept of God is Reality (not exactly but close). I had some epiphanies there that confirmed my ego that I was in the right path, now I think I wasn't but I needed to understand something. I began to believe in the concept of "the devil" and I went paranoid. (Now I see the devil was the understanding old prophets had of the ego, that was how they "explained" it with the concepts of their times). So, I had to choose to be paranoid or to surrender to reality. At that moment I was still believing or "kind of" believing, I think I was forcing me to believe in something, because that's what I thought. That you needed to believe to transcend. If it wasn't for that experience I never would have thought that we have not to believe to see reality as is. That was completely out of my understanding at that moment. So, reading stuff from Calvinism I arrived to the conclusion that we have no free will and from there it was when I decided to trust in myself not in an outside dogma. I will write more in detail soon. :-) Thanks Mal for reading and for your help! And what happened to your friend "AWESOME"

That's awesome Ayla

@Natasha Yeah, really awesome!

Lol, cool @99th_monkey that's awesome.

Thanks Charlie, right now I understand what are the true teaching of Jesus. Anyway in my error it helped me to understand surrendering, and to deny my ego. At that moment I thought that the ego was myself, now I know what he was talking about. That is not taught in any church right now. I am writing the last part of all this that will explain better were I am know and what I learned from Jesus teachings, that is very different to what the church teach. Thanks for reading!

Zendo is the name of the Hall where people sit to meditate. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zendo

Chop wood, carry water!

Same dream here, but I didn't have any identity. I didn't know who I was. (My false identity-ego)

@Natasha thanks for the advice about watching Leo's video of No Self experience, pretty cool. I did it twice, and I didn't feel my body for some time. I just felt the sensations, and it was awesome. Now my mind is like crazy, I am working on not getting attached to the thoughts and stories. hehehe... thanks!

The seeker is he who is in search of himself. Give up all questions except one: ‘Who am I?’ After all, the only fact you are sure of is that you are. The ‘I am’ is certain. The ‘I am this’ is not. Struggle to find out what you are in reality. To know what you are, you must first investigate and know what you are not. Discover all that you are not -- body, feelings thoughts, time, space, this or that -- nothing, concrete or abstract, which you perceive can be you. The very act of perceiving shows that you are not what you perceive. The clearer you understand on the level of mind you can be described in negative terms only, the quicker will you come to the end of your search and realise that you are the limitless being. ---- Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

I am actually listening to Eckhart Tolle's audiobook "The New Earth" and it's awesome. Also I find Wei Wu Wei and Nisargadatta Maharaj books mind blowing. Read them if you have an opportunity.

Stepping into the unknown is following your passion, but how do you know your passion if you are unconscious? I failed many times, but I know it was because I don't know who I AM. Hope this helps.

I don't know what I'm doing either, but... I'm ok with it... hehehehe

Yeah @Ayla ... the stuff I have to read here is driving me crazy! But I forgive them because they don't know what they are doing... Lol

@Emerald Wilkins @Arik Maybe we can create a kind of "Amusement Park for Kids with Meditation Retreats"... good business idea hehehehe

@Ayla 1. Not this not this 2. Not this and this 3. And this and this 4. And neither not this, nor and this.

There's no pixels that resemble a bald man, just plain and simple pixels!!!

And lately I was trying to play with the feelings of pain, like really feeling them. And, to my surprise, they are not so painful. A lot of pain is created by the mind. Interesting.

@Mal

Can we start a cult??? I think it would be a good idea.

@Arik Thanks!!! Before doing meditation I was in a mental institution for a week. I know what you are talking about! Thanks for sharing!

@Mal That what you are saying is life changing. I needed that! Thanks!

Thanks @Ayla !!!!