Freakrik

I realized i Love my sober self and the material world. I realized as Long as i am in my ego form i cannot go to Hell because if am not dead i cannot get trapped in a Hell realm with infinite suffering. I realized i really want to go to belarus and meet beautiful women with great personalites. When i was on the back down i was lisening on "Take me Home country road". I thought of how much i am gonna Love the nature biketrips next summer. I realized how lucky i am to live this life. How much more present i was gonna be with the Things i Love. Until i die and have No Idea What is gonna happen or if i ever get to live in such a beautiful world ever again. I am not gonna take more drugs. I Don't think spirutuality Will bring me true happiness. Edit: i also realized i need to Move to a bigger city asap and start to get really Good at game.

I would Love to explore consciousness. But i am afriad of 1. Entering realms with suffering. I Don't want to suffer (i talked to a man who said he went to Hell. Most painfull thing on this earth + 1 level) afriad to get an heartattack. I have looked up my hearts. No problems. But it stilla Feels like i am gonna have an heartattack. I am semi tripping on Taking high förses of weed. It can get trippy. Not to intense. But still

I take 0,25 gram of cannabis. Meditating on that is intense. Small doses i feel Very Very Good when meditating. But high doses. That is intense

@Leo Gura Leo said in his video That when you die It's like nothing could ever disdrub you ever again, But then in the god video you Will be reborn. As Mby a brid or something. Well what is true. I Don't want to be in that State forever. I don't want to live 100000 mediocre lifes. I want to live Many happy lifes. Like a movie. How can i choose the life i want when i die?

So my next lifes Will be based on a dice roll?

no "your life is Hell" my life is 0,1% as bad as a real Hell. Leo said god wants to experience everything. Can't let go of Hell, @Leo Gura you said god is reincarnating himself all the time. So if Hell is 0,1 chance. After 1000 lifes, Rip me

Wait. Are you telling me that i could have total power over this world? Tbh.... i Don't want to have god like powers. Yeay it would be cool to have gravtions powers... But i like begin human. So this is not me wanting to have god like powers. But in theory How lucid do i need to become. How Long? And How much power would i have at the end?

Is there any way out of such a realm? Btw is there Any way to chose the next life realm?

I think he meant like in a dream if you know you are dreaming you can start to change the dream reality. Can we do tje same thing with the life dream?

@leo But Leo you said there can not be a limit to reality. But if No one can get stuck in a Hell realm with suffering that are 100000000000000000000000000000000x times of the most painfull thing on earth forvever. Well that is a limit. How do you explain That. Btw if god is having those dreams. Does it mean i Will experience being luke skywalker, darth vader, superman, deadpool etc because that would be super cool

If there is a 0.1% Btw @Leo Gura i talked to a Christian who told me he had Done i think it was lsd in the past. He said he had enter a Hell realm. The most painfull thing on this earth. Add a level tp that. Maxed out all the time. He had screamed god to destroy him (he was atheist at the time) that Sounds horrible

I fear Pain. My friend just tried pepperspray. He told me he does not Wish that Pain on his worst enemie. @Preetom i kinda understand you. But if i want to spend 1000 years in Hell. Is it something i can't abort if i can't stand it?

@Leo Gura When i die and reborn. And there is 0,1 chance i get stuck in Hell forever. If i hit that 0,1% chance. Does it mean i get stuck in there?

One of the them told me he had Done psycadelics and told me he had seen Hell. "Think about the most painfull thing on earth. Add on a level to that. Think about that being maxed out all the time" at the time he was an atheist. He had screamed "god destroy me!" Leo had said god are always reincarnating himself. If there is 0.1% chance i end up in Hell. Well after i haves lived 1000 lives i prop end up there. I fear the Pain and the suffering. And i Don't want to here "there is No you" "your life is Hell" this is about me not being stuck in a lava pool forever unable to die. Just feel the pain

I have before in my life felt happy without having a reason for it. (for example weed) and it felt inauthentic. There was no reason for me to feel that way. Something was off about that happiness, And that made me hate it. is this inauthentic happiness?

Lol i want to create a website about Influence and selling. Traveling and gaming. Try to become my best at game. Living in a Cabin in the woods. Taking the girls i connect with to my cabin (Sounds creppy ?) having fun memories with my friends. There is not really a specific outcome there. I just let the chips fall where They may. I want to earn money so i can travel and game. But i want to live simple. Like Leo said.

just had a mini panic attack. my ego is confused about reality. Feels like all of the things i looking forward to. Earning money so i can travel europe with my friends, Doing pick up, meeting women that i can connect to on an authentic connect to. Having fun memories. Just in a second can be ripped away as meaningless and i will be left with an empty reality that lost its magic. Is this a side effect on meditaion? i remember dark side of meditation. I am not ready for awekening. I got too high on weed an that was too much for me. I love this reality too much.

yes ofc i want to be more in the now. I think breaking the parts of your ego who wants to impress is a good thing. And when i am doing pick up and meeting women i want to be 100% in the now. But givining up on my plans. F no. What do you mean with no you in the moment. I now the ego is an illution but just because i am doing something in the now as an expression of love and joy. That does not mean that "i" am not there. I am there experience everthing

When you hear Leo talking about this divine Love you Will feel when you do the spirutal work. It Sounds Very similar to mdma trip reports. That you Will Love everything. So i ask you and Mby @Leo Gura can answer this. Will mdma get you a taste of divine Love? NOTE i am not planning on doing mdma. (If so i Will take it after i am 21) i am just asking a hypotectial question

and my authentic motivations are gonna be sitting down an meditate. Because from what i have heard from leo etc that is what my authentic motivations are

Tbh i both and neither. I Don't know. I just had a feeling that everything could be ripped away

Leo said god wants to experience everything. I was a bit unsadisfied with What is god part 2 because he did not Give a Good explanation of direct experience of being reborn. Does that mean i Will have an direct experience of everthing? @Leo Gura can you explain this?

Ah moving to the countryside That's the exact thing i realized i wanted to Move to "take me Home" made me realize that. And ofcourse i want to set true meaningful with a few ppl. But i am still Young and i need to find the ones i want to connect to. And game is the way for that plus i want to game for a couple of years. (If i Don't find a girl i click with) and if i break up Then back to game

Follow up to my other post. Long story short i took alot of weed. It felt like going from zero t 100 at once. When i got high i experienced something that i called uncanny beaty. It was beautiful But it was something off about it. I feelt happy But it was dirty happines. This happiness felt uncanny and has made me skepical to the kinda of happines of 5 meo dmt/god etc. Because i felt No matter how Strong this happiness it is not gonna feel Good deep down. The kinds of happiness i wanted to experience was for example when i was a child and swimming in the big Waves with my cousine. I want it to feel real. It also felt wierd and made me hate this kind of "happiness". The Word "uncanny happiness" just came to me. I know this post it's similar to my last But i want to talk about this

Hahha It's probebly gonna Take a Long time for that. A Long long long long time. But Things like meditation can to good to make me more present when i am going to nature. I became more thankfull to be able to live this live. When it kickad in i experienced something that i can only describe uncanny beauty. It was beautyfull But it was something of about it. I realized how much i disliked this type of happieness. It was weird and i hated it.