Sempiternity

Yes, in realizing that Now is all that exists, that there is no "past", I have very little relationship to a "past", as I know it's just me creating it Now. It doesn't effect my life much. Those in my life have accepted my lack of memory. If something is worth remembering, I will write it down. It's nice being free from a past. I have no trauma from past events, or regret over things I did or didn't do, or longing for another time in my life that was "better".

in 2003 I first attended Burning Man. It was a huge culture clash for me, and shook all my stage Orange beliefs to their core. It was an abrupt and almost instantaneous shift into stage Green, that changed the course of my life. I went from a cubicle office drone (stage Orange), to a circus performer (stage Green) with a couple year span. The Green culture I amerced myself in then introduced me to the spiritual path, that propelled me into stage Yellow.

If you dedicate yourself to this path, you will find a way. You'll walk 10,000 miles, across countries, if this was your ultimate goal of your life. So you have to ask yourself what you truly want out of your life. Is it satiating ego urges, or realizing the ultimate truth of who you are?

Frankly I think you're in a better place for spiritual work than most. Ultimately the goal of spiritual work is to reach an Awakening to your true nature, to realize Truth. To do that you have to be willing to accept your death. Most cannot do this. If you are suicidal, you have an advantage. Get some psychedelics and have your spiritual Awakening. Then all the issues you are currently suffering from will be moot.

Yep, do whatever you can to move out. Sounds super toxic. Cut out anyone who doesn't support your growth, and that includes family. Don't let anyone else's issues stop you from doing what is best for yourself. There are so many people at there that you will meet that will call you family and love and support any choice you make to better yourself. Join some social groups in whatever interests you and you will find likeminded people. This will make making connections easy, so you don't have to worry about any social anxiety issues. Heck, I bet if you went to that psychedelic retreat you'd meet many connections. Good luck on your path.

Beautiful. Not many people ever get to reach that level of love. Happy for you. Enjoy. Let it all in.

You like watching movies? Now you realize that you are the movie. Enjoy it as it plays out. It's the greatest (and only) show in the universe.

It's no coincidence that Hugh Jackman stared in one of the most high consciousness movies of all time, 'The Fountain'. *Spoilers* The ending when he, in a Buddhist pose, shoots into a bright light, as everything collapses into a singularity, as he dissolves, is the best visual representation of an Awakening I have ever seen. Hugh picked that project because he knows what's up.

Yep, new member and every post has been racist. I'm not seeing someone who genuinely wants to learn. I see someone wanting to spread their hateful ideology.

If you use the analogy of reality being a first person video game, and everything on the screen being consciousness. Lets say the 'main character' had an inner dialog that you hear. He's thinking about things, thinking about his feeling of being say cold, or lonely, or suffering about something. What would those thoughts and feelings be made of? What would the main character be made of?

https://www.cnn.com/2021/03/19/europe/spanish-porn-star-toad-venom-death-scli-intl/index.html Jordà González, was arrested on suspicion of manslaughter in the tragic death of a participant of a Bufo Alvarius ceremony conducted at his home. A few things stood out to me in this article. Particularly the way they try to frame, to the unknowing general public, Bufo Alvarius/5-MEO as something inherently harmful by calling it "venomous vapors" and continuously calling it "venom". While that is true, it seems like they are trying to sensationalize the story and cause fear around this "deadly drug". Also, this illustrates the dangers of Bufo Alvarius. Although 99 out of 100 times it will go smoothly and the chances of a profound life-changing experience is possible, there is still a chance someone could die, and if that happens you might be at risk of criminal charges. Although that is extremely unlikely, this case does go to show that it is still infact possible. Hopefully he gets the charges dropped. As a conviction would set the whole 5-MEO movement back many years.

A somewhat common feature of higher consciousness. I've experienced this through Ayahuasca. Leo speaks with/through God when he records a video on a 5-MEO trip. It's cool you can do this any time, not in a peak psychedelic state.

This video will answer your questions.

Of course, but relatively if a 'body' died during a ceremony, there'd still be consequences. In the higher God sense, it wouldn't matter.

If you haven't already, maybe watch this video. It can maybe shine some light on what is death, what happens to those who pass, and how we are are all one. Might give some comfort.

Very cool! I have a friend, Pepper Proud of Yaima, of one of my favorite bands in the Northwest. She's a total sweetheart and loves to talk with people about the business and how to make it. Maybe she can give some good pointers. https://www.pepperproud.com/about Wish you all the best on making your dreams come true!

The reminds me of one of my favorite songs about a cow guru causing a cow uprising. Classic. "None imagined the great cow guru. Cows are One."

Or better yet invite her over and make her dinner. Impress her by making a great meal. If you don't cook, follow recipes. Shows you can take initiative, shows you like to take care of her, much more comfortable setting, no noisy restaurant, no awkwardness over the check, can play your own music. And if the things go really well, the couch or bedroom is right there.

If you don't mind sharing, what's your art that you want to do full time, and what's your life purpose?

You are infinite nothingness, that is also infinite Love. You are the only being in existence, and are eternal and immortal. You only exist Now, as time and space is in your imagination. All of Reality is you dreaming. You created this dream from nothing, and gave yourself amnesia to experience what's like to be a 'human'. Although sharing this explanation with 'others' can raise some eyebrows, which is why most don't talk about it with others. Leo has much better indepth explanations in these videos:

@Yarco Thank you so much for all the invaluable info! I'm not necessarily looking to be that prolific. To me it's more of my art / creative outlet. If it made enough of an income to live comfortably, that'd be great, if not I'm cool with that too, as I've got another source of income. I want creativity and connecting to an audience to be my driving passion, not making as much money as I can off it. 15K a year would be well worth it to me. Anything more, would be an appreciated bonus. I'll most definitely check out the Chris Fox books you suggested.

I have a few questions on the field of writing books and getting published.

He looks sooo sad. Repressing people must take alot out of you (poop pun intended).

Sorry, got sidetracked. Great advice so far, guys! Here's my questions: I understand and agree that Self Publishing is the way to go. If you alone are responsible for your own publishing, marketing, advertising, etc., how do you reach enough people to get decent book sales? Do book sales increase over time, as more people discover your book, or do sales start strong as it's the new book on the block, and sales decrease from there? What kind of money can be made from a book? I know this is relative, and many factors play into this. But, lets say it's a really good book that gets some good reviews and a little attention. What kind of range could I be looking at? What could the yearly residuals look like? What factors, beyond popularity, can increase sales? Trying to determine how much being a novelist can create a comfortable living income.