Preety_India

What should I do if the person is spreading false rumors about me? Usually what happens is that others believe those rumors and then I become like a target for everyone to jump on. Talking to mods doesn't help because they simply ignore it. I think personal attacks should be completely against the ethics of the forum but it's not implemented seriously. Even if I ignored that person they will keep shaming and parading me throughout the forum. This is straight up bullying. This attracts other attackers. It leads to gang bullying. It's almost like a hate mission.

His comments are extremely critical, harsh and insensitive and keeps projecting an awful amount of shit on people without putting the effort to get to know them. It's very distressing. I have made several references to this guy's unloving insensitive behavior on the forum but to no avail. I am surprised his comments are tolerated here given their judgmental nature. He never forgets to comment on me and usually some hateful projecting nonsense. I tell him to stop talking about me. But he doesn't stop. There is a line of decency he is crossing.

Healing this mental space should be a priority.

Mental Space Wisdom path Wisdom and healing is the key Wisdom and healing comes from only one source Some days ago I talked about the human condition The "wisdom path" and the "human condition" are two important terms to keep in mind.

Borderline personality disorder.

To be fair it's impossible to moderate a forum. Forums like these should have a one on one communication methods. And small groups.

You are mixing two things here. The following two statements are totally different from each other Statement 1- She is a Russian national and Russia is in the war so she needs to be attacked Statement 2 - She attacked Ukraine or her opinion on Ukraine was not welcome so she needs to be attacked. The attack on her had not a single mention on Ukraine or the war or her position on the war. It was a simple attack on her nationality as a Russian, she was being mocked because Russia is in the war. There was nothing additional there. You gave those reasons but users didn't give such reasons There is always a high probability that people can be heavily biased against Russians due to the war situation which is understandable yet not reasonable since the war is between countries and Russians have nothing to do with it, given how little government control they already have. Also if someone is pro-Russian, they are pro-Russian and aren't they entitled to support their country if they belong to that nation? We can always have the debate over national loyalty versus humanity but we can cut slack for people who support their own country, their own survival might be hinged on it. It's best to reserve judgment about a person's intent, we never know what their situation is. If I were to talk against my country openly in public I might land in jail. This is a deeply complicated matter and people are supposed to pick their loyalties and this can often lead to confusion ranging from identity, nationality, humanitarian concerns, past history of both nations, personal security. There is an awful lot at stake here. If my country was in war, I doubt I would actually go against my country, I would never know if the country has employed 24/7 spies to watch my back who are ready to throw me in jail for even the slightest breach of loyalty, Russia is ruled by a dictator. In my opinion, a person who is Ukrainian is expected to support Ukraine, goes without saying. A person who is Russian might have a pro - Russian stance. This is not surprising at all, most people are conformists, especially when they come from a dictatorial regime, that's how they will be programmed. The people who rebel against their own country or regime are generally the minority. Demonizing a person for holding a polarized opinion especially taking into consideration their nationality sounds ignorant to me, because we are not in their shoes, we don't know what psychological conflict they are dealing with. What I want to say is that there are many factors at play here and it's not as simple as "if you love Russia then you are a bad person." At the end of the day, what we are doing is character judgement and often character judgements are purely the product of our own cognitive biases and shadows we project on others. We don't know someone fully so we really don't know how their minds operate. If someone personally attacked you, then I would definitely not tell you to not judge because that would be equivalent of invalidation of your own feelings. But judging someone based on their general opinions seems to be too reductionist to me, how do we exactly know, especially when it comes to politics, what events past or present shaped their opinions.

@Leo Gura should really look into this thread.

That doesn't make the forum Russian. In fact there are more people from your country than from Russia

Russian forum?

The person is being ridiculed because Russia is losing. That's a direct attack on their nationality. What has their nationality got to do with anything? That's like making things personal. Anyway this is not the first time that mean comments are directed to a person who is leaving the forum

Why all these mean comments for a person who is leaving the forum, simply because they are Russian. And mods don't even care to see these comments. Maybe we can set a better example. No?

What

I think I remember you saying that you were homosexual.

Different kinds of relationships 1. Disposable A person who tells you that you are replaceable. That's a bad thing Because they are looking for someone better in which case they should just leave you and find someone better. 2. Room service A person who uses you for their needs. For example, they constantly badger you with their needs that aren't love related. They want you to do things for them and only come to you when they need those things out of you and keep overwhelming you with their constant needs. Hardly ever care about your needs. They use you like room service constantly pressing the button and get furious If their needs are not met but never care about your needs. 3. Backup and not priority A person who uses you like a backup option.. That is they always come back to you whenever they are tired with someone else. They use you on rotation. You are not their priority. 4. Trophy and ego When they want a trophy husband or trophy wife, they don't actually want you ,they simply like the idea of having you because it makes their ego feel good. Once the trophy gets old, they no longer treat this trophy with kindness. 5. Psychopath/narcissist A person who traps you in the relationship even when you are not happy with them. They want you around because they want something out of you even if it means that being with them is unbearable and you have to suffer. But they won't let you go simply because they are selfish and only care about how it fulfills their needs. 6. Romantic attention They only want you for their romantic attention they get from you. You satisfy their girlfriend needs. They don't even try to put effort to get to know you. You are an object to them..an object that fulfills their primary goal. They wanted you because they wanted someone (not just you ) to fill that space or role. You are basically their role. They love the image they have of you in their head. They love the feeling of being in love or boasting a relationship but don't care to bond with you. They did not fall in love with you. They simply saw you as an opportunity, an object of their desire, they wanted and needed a girlfriend and they saw that you easily fit the bill. They are just happy they got someone. You are their conquest or possession. They don't try to understand you as a person. Their interest in you is temporary and will eventually subside, an infatuation, and when the real struggle of loving a person begins, they will back off or fail the test.

I have Indian relatives, they don't cheat on their wives. If a girl gets a healthy loving guy then her life is a dream here. I was unfortunate because I got a manipulative idiot as a boyfriend that made me fall in love with western men in search of love,but no thanks, I dated a few and realized that this culture is not about deep relationships, they fall in love on a whim and when the season is over the love ends too. I better find a guy in my own culture. I probably didn't look hard enough, the problem in our culture is that there are too many guys who make fake promises of love, lead the girl on and are extremely manipulative and controlling. If a girl gets a guy who is good then she is very lucky. Western guys are not manipulative, they are mostly honest, but their feelings are temporary, they don't need a reason to break up, they don't work hard to make a relationship work, they simply leave when things turn sour, zero tolerance. So what's the point if it's not going to last. Nobody wants to feel deserted ?, maybe a few 1% marriages last. I want a healthy relationship but also a loyal one where both parties are always ready to work out issues and are totally committed to each other, now who doesn't have flaws, a proper relationship goes beyond flaws and issues and stands the test of time. That's real love. Love is not like eating candy and marriage is not a joke.

Yea not a nightmare, but there are expectations on both sides. We don't just test people. I think western dating is a nightmare for an Indian because nothing is secure at all, anyone can simply pump and dump you anytime, western people don't have any security or trust at all, they cheat, abandon, dump however they wish and whenever they wish, they make fake promises of love that never last. Their relationships don't last, their marriages don't last and end in divorce. If I married a western man and got divorced, I would end up with PTSD and trauma just like pets who daily get abandoned on the side of the streets in western countries. There is simply no value for human feelings or emotions or loyalty in western society, it's so terrible and that's why all the children in western countries that turn out fucked up with drug addicts, mental issues because their parents didn't give a damn about them. Western culture is a true nightmare and I will never date a white man again ever in my life, it's a terrible terrible experience of such trauma and emotional pain. It will drive a person nuts. Now I understand why in the West, women continue to prefer to stay single, they completely butcher her womanhood and use her as an object of satisfaction and then dump her At least in my country my father married my mother, gave her a sense of security, provided for her, was with her no matter their issues, my relatives are happy and whatever marital issues they got, they at least live out their marriage vows till death and don't dump or leave each other. Who wants to be dumped and alone especially in old age. Everyone deserves to be loved and to have some sense of stability in life. Nobody likes an emotionally unstable life where you never know when a relationship might end and that person simply walks off leaving you lonely and deserted,searching for a mate again, an endless cycle of always looking for a relationship that only makes a person more frustrated and lonelier as time goes. There's a song in our culture that goes with the lyrics like "never date a westerner, you'll regret." and I guess I have enough regrets to never date a western person again. Sadly the world is increasingly turning western due to the massive after impact of colonialism, everyone is set out to copy the West and this will be a nightmare for most cultures that depended on their firmly established cultures to create emotionally fulfilling lives for their people, now the cruel Western system will replace it like a cancer that it is.

I have made a bunch of friends in the last week I feel good.

borderline-personality-disorder One of the reasons why I struggle with socialization

Ahh that would be so pleasant.

That's a hard thing. Just like you can't tell the difference between a real flower and a fake flower from far.

Yea the hammer always sees the nail.

Eat sugar moderately.

Are you in love with suffering too?

She doesn't know the definition of a woman.