Preety_India

@somegirl yep

Just so you know, nobody is taking my advice nor do I wish to give any, especially to people like you who constantly demonize others for their opinions and who are never open minded enough to listen to what others have to say. You don't like my advice, don't read it, no need to taunt. I'm not wasting my time arguing nonsense with you. Move on.

I totally agree on the STDs part. I get totally freaked out on that one.

He has been clueless for a really long time now.

Someone asked me my opinion on what I wanted in a man, I simply answered it. I'm not giving any advice to anyone, much less to western men. Please move on.

Consciousness is infinite. Theoretically when something is infinite, there is nothing outside of it or beyond it So the answer is No.

You've only read my recent posts. I've criticized arranged marriages heavily in my past posts. The thing is arranged marriages have become progressively rarer in the new Generation. I don't think any of my friends even talk about it. So it's irrelevant to me. Btw you're so wrong about the arranged marriage concept. The man does not enrich the bride's family, in fact he makes them poor through dowry and that is the reason why most women were killed in our culture in the womb or after birth. You are so clueless about my culture Yes western dating style is toxic. Our dating style which has gradually evolved after the era of arranged marriages is not anything like it. There are so many marriages in my own family, they are not arranged marriages and they are so happy. I'm just stating differences, be calm. If I criticized a cultural pattern it's to point out the bad and not for you versus them mentality.

Think about the 71 million people lol. They are here to stay. They can vote someone like Trump again. Strange times.

You're absolutely wrong. I've been through that phase where I was attracted to a bad boy. It is very temporary and men make a big deal out of it. A woman quickly grows out of it. Women can be a bit dreamy when they are young, it's just their lack of awareness. It's like the "boy phase" with men. Just like men grow into men from boys, girls grow into women and they immediately lose the attraction for bad boys. Only immature naive out of touch with reality women keep getting attracted to them More and more independent strong willed women choose honorable respectful and healthy men who know how to treat a woman. Every woman outgrows that girly girly romantic phase with a bad boy and every woman has a hurtful fuck boy story to tell.. Women who are interested to settle and in making families stop looking for bad boys and start looking for good boys. In fact they run miles away from a bad boy, because they have already experienced the drama of a bad boy and they don't want that to repeat And this whole misconception that I will get bored of a lovey dovey guy is also equally wrong. The women who get bored of lovers are not really the best women, they are whiny, they are never secure, they always want something more. Women who have a strong internal constitution don't get bored. In my fact my love for my man will grow stronger the more things he does for me.. Does this mean that I expect him to do nothing else? Absolutely not. I would be more than glad if he is happy with his work and ambition in life. But I should be important to him. And he needs to show that. Eastern women are different. They want respectful men and not assholes. Maybe in your culture women easily get bored and I don't know much about that. But I'm not like that. Most guys who complain about how the woman is getting bored of them have probably never been with a woman like me or any eastern girl..here the culture is different, the dating style is different, the guy needs to put the woman before everything or she walks away. Maybe in your culture women have a special place for bad boys. But most women around me are well raised and don't want bad boys at all. That's why most western men have a very faulty idea of how a man should be. They constantly encourage this bad boy asshole image which is actually frowned upon in our culture. Here the good guy gets the max girls. And girls get upset if they don't get a good guy, same for me. So in a nutshell, I'd be extremely happy if my man did all that I mentioned and if he did it everyday, it's more the merrier for me. I don't care about western psychology about dating, it's pretty toxic, that's why the high divorce rates. In my culture the divorce rate is too low and I never hear women in my community complain about being bored of their good guy boyfriends and husbands. Sorry but the western society has created a very toxic gender love romance dynamic. Totally screwed up. So no chance for good men.

The relationship with one of my exes ended last year. Currently I'm in a stable relationship with a good guy. But I still have flashbacks of whatever happened in my past relationship with this abusive guy. He was emotionally and physically abusive. He was a total narcissist pig. I want to be able to let go whatever hurt he caused me. I don't want his thoughts. But these thoughts always come to my mind when I'm having free time or if I'm in a pensive mood. I want to forget and forgive him and just move on, on an emotional plane and not remain stuck in thinking about all the hurt and pain he caused me. Sometimes I get strong emotions of rage and anger and throwing objects at a wall or crying for hours under my pillow. I get this deep grudge like I want him punished in some way, some karma that should happen to him as a way of retribution for what he did to me. I constantly feel like he didn't deserve me or the relationship and so he must pay in some way for me to feel that it was a fair game. What are some thoughts that will help me deal with the above range of emotions and psyches I'm experiencing currently?

@Keyhole You've been hired as a honorary cook in the white house. Congratulations! You made it.

@amenX thank you

Excellent analysis @JosephKnecht The ego eventually collapses and the Spirit wins.

Lol you don't need to worry. The biggest worry is gone. Have some fun haha

Goodness. Anyone is better than Trump to be honest Biden has not even started his presidency and doubts are already casting doubts on him. I can assure you that nobody can be worse than Trump other than his clone or something. Someone similar to him. Biden has a huge amount of work cut out for him. He has to repair the damage caused by the Trump administration and he has already begun. Biden is a fairly responsible guy.

@lmfao cancel culture has been overblown by the right media. You have simply fallen for this narrative. In reality there are far more cases where people don't get canceled where it's best if they get canceled.

Cancel culture is a way to get rid of racists from society Racists discriminate and do not allow black or other colored people their basic rights. A Muslim woman running a bakery can be harassed and made to leave the place or quit her job A Transgender individual may be told to leave a place. An Asian woman jogging and exercising in the park was told by a white woman to go back to her country. A black man trying to take out trash was hold by a white woman to not go to the dumpster and that he doesn't belong in the apartment. These are examples of racism that stop colored people from doing even the most basic tasks in everyday life.. Cancel culture is a voice to protect these people and ensure Equality. Why should a person have the authority to tell someone that they don't belong in a park or they should go back to their country A white woman tells a black man that she will call the cops simply because he is bird watching in a park. She also calls the cops. Cancel culture is a good way to teach such people a lesson that they cannot stop other people from exercising their basic and fundamental rights and they have to be respected as humans. I'm sorry but to be fair those who get canceled invite it on themselves. They create their own problems. If they are going to be racist and unfair to others then don't expect society to be fair to them either. That's injustice They are not getting canceled for nothing. They are attacking other's rights to live and their self esteem by discriminating and dehumanizing them then they should also be ready to face the consequences. You(third person reference) don't get to create your own problems and then bitch about it. If racists don't want the consequences of racism, then stop being racist. Cancel culture is a term misused by right wing media to make it look like some crime. It's not a crime. It's a punishment. And racists need to be punished because racism is a crime. If the punishment looks like a problem, then stop committing the crime.. How about that? You(third person reference) can't take away someone's basic rights just because they don't look like you. Only by punishing a racist, you will see a decline in such incidents. It's already happening. By shaming them in public and causing them to lose jobs, people have become more aware of the consequences of being openly racist. Of course racism will exist in their hearts, that won't change but at least the victim of racism can be protected through such punishments. If a person doesn't wish to be canceled, then stop doing things that harm other innocent people because they are not at fault either and don't deserve to suffer humiliation or racism. You can't have your cake and eat it too!!

So three things to remember while dealing with toxic people You have to move forward in life and leave them behind.. "I need understanding and support, not your judgment." "since you hurt me, I hereby choose to ignore you and switch my emollient mode on. "

Emollient mode on I call "encouraging" my personal emollient. An emollient is a cream or lotion that soothes the skin if it's dry or cracked or wounded An emollient assists in healing. Emotional Abusers, manipulators, narcissists, psychopaths, people belonging to each of these categories hurt in their own unique ways. What you need is a shield. A way to soothe yourself instantly after the hurt. Switch on your emollient mode and immediately begin soothing yourself just when the narcissist starts to discourage you. Ways to soothe yourself Say that the other person is being an idiot Rebuke the person in your mind Reject what they say Don't take it as a truth Deny what they say Don't show reaction Instant ignore Act like nothing happened Be shameless around these people especially when they continue egging you on trying to guilt or shame you. If the other person says that you are a loser, instantly tell yourself that you are the winner. They all appear gentle and decent on the outside. But they are all toxic on the inside.

Devil's chemistry, God's design.

Emollient mode on I call "encouraging" my personal emollient. An emollient is a cream or lotion that soothes the skin if it's dry or cracked or wounded An emollient assists in healing. Emotional Abusers, manipulators, narcissists, psychopaths They all appear gentle and decent on the outside. But they are all toxic on the inside.

What you always need to remember is this When someone hurts you and says harsh things to you or puts you down, (especially a narcissist - they will do this as often as possible) Is to say to yourself "I need understanding and support, not your judgment." Keep repeating this.

Don't leave any room (don't allow) any hurtful behavior in life Always stand up for yourself and cancel out all hurtful behavior from your life.

One way to piss off a narcissist is to completely ignore them and their judgemental chatter. Completely ignore.. Pisses them off big time. Make them feel like they dont matter. When narcissist tells you to do something, do the exact opposite. This is counter intuitive behavior and is extremely important while dealing with a narcissist. Like for example my narcissist abuser ex boyfriend Joseph is constantly persuading me to talk to him since the last 4 days. He has been telling me to leave my current boyfriend and get back with him, which I'm not going to do. So I have blocked him. He wanted me to talk to him. But I ghosted him and blocked him. See??? Counter intuitive behavior. Normally I would have fallen for his bullshit "sorrys"...... But not this time.. This time I straight up did the exact opposite. It's kinda amusing to do the opposite of what a narcissist tells you to do. It's almost like trying to deflate or detonate a bomb. You simply remove their power by releasing the valve.

@abrakamowse So I guess the rough cutoff date is November 17? Or this going to go on till December because of the court ? How long has the Drama-in-chief decided to drag this?