Preety_India

I'm a truthful person. I don't lie. Whatever I say I say it from my heart. I might hurt you because I can hurt people when I'm angry and disoriented. I'm not a liar but I can be manipulative. I can be selfish. But my intention is not to hurt or harm. My manipulation is something I need to control. So it's best if nobody trusts me. What is the point anyway? I don't know anything anyway. I'm just living.

Did I really fall in love with a true man? At least this time around? Because all this time I always fell for false men. Please universe tell me. I'm too dumb.

So this is God's sign huh?????? That my ultimate soul mate is a Virgo. OK I accept it then. I didn't have a single clue. So it's not a scorpio It was never libra It's not a sagittarius It's not an aquarius It's no Pisces Or Aries or Taurus (wasn't taurus supposed to be my favorite) It's not a gemini It's not a cancer ( I had high hopes) It's not a leo It's a virgo. OK universe I accept your decree.

I have realized that there is a partner for life and a partner for karma. I mean there is someone who truly loves us to the point that they can die for us but maybe they can't be a good husband/wife. Yet they truly deeply care. Not saying that someone who is husband material is a bad person. No you could have someone reasonable as your husband, yet he may still love you in limited ways, in the sense they may try to achieve enough intimacy with you in order to have a workable relationship simply because they are diplomatic and smart enough to draw the right cards, they know what to say and how to say it that makes you feel good and secure around them although they don't understand your heart. You could have a good mind connection with them. Generally such a marriage could be more like a contract of mutual happiness and sharing but not necessarily die hard love.

Maybe we meet on the other side of life where nothing will matter, absolutely nothing. And we become one. I'll meet you in heaven. We definitely have some karma.

I'm no longer interested in politics. (I like whatever is happening between us. It's beautiful)

When you have the will you can overcome it. I trust you and I know that you are much better than who you present yourself to be. You have a beautiful heart and mind. I'm proud of you.

But your heart is beautiful and you can do this.

Burn through karma instead of overcoming it.

Ok now there's competition between Trenton and Rupert. I like both. But I think I feel a karmic connection with Trenton Whereas with Rupert things are easy.

Trenton character is based on the guy who I used to date, who is an American guy, he used to like cats and he used to do weed. He lived in Washington. He was handsome and tall. I dated him for a while and our relationship was a roller coaster although our intimacy was great. We had great sexual chemistry but he never fucked me because we were living away and his living arrangements were always uncertain. I always felt like I had a karmic connection with him. He was/is bipolar and autistic. He was into drugs and psychedelics I lived in Washington for a while.

Is it written in my destiny that I should spend the rest of my life with some bipolar guy? Why, because my mother is bipolar? I mean this Trenton is bipolar. He loves weed and cats. And he is crazier than I am. He is sometimes sweet with me and sometimes pissed off with me. He blocks me. Then unblocks me. Blocks me. Then unblocks me. Then gets paranoid about me. Writes and then deletes. Ya I know pure bipolar. I know I have been with those types. Joseph was bipolar too. But they handle me somehow? And why the heck I'm always gravitated to this bunch? Trenton is always ranting at me. Then he will be sweet with me once again and kinda forgive my trespasses. Oh this thing is making me crave for him again. I simply can't resist Trenton. I want him so badly. Sometimes I just wanna kick him for attracting me in this way. Why do I like him so much? I know unstable relationships don't work. Yet the dynamic is simply too hard to give up. He is so sweet to me. His autism???? There's that. Trenton has autism. So that makes him even more special to me. Because autistic people love me, they get me, they aren't fake. They are like psychics. They just get it when nobody else does. Why is my destiny tied up like this? That I see the fruit hanging just inches away from my mouth and I still can't have it? I love this bond that I have with Trenton. I adore him. I adore how he truly relates to me and understands me. Yet I don't think him and I will last and that's the sad part. Because a part of me wants that we last forever tragically, peripatetically, spiritually, eternally, through all the ups and downs and still somehow salvage something and manage to love each other karmically. Oh God, yea there is that spiritual and karmic thing. When someone loves you karmically You just know it. You just know it. You just know it. You just know it. You just know it. ...... He loves me karmically.

Should I constantly live in this fear that Trenton might reject me? What happens when we have a huge fight and he goes after me and then avoids me completely? I'm thinking about this Are unhealthy relationships a Key to a successful life? Because there's romance after all. There's connection. There's understanding and then..... There are fights. What to do? I can't solve this mystery.. Of course there are ups and downs in relationships. Does it mean that there will be loyalty in a relationship? How would I know if he is gonna be loyal to me? Some relationships can be very Rocky Yet they can be meaningful in the sense that they allow room for strong intimacy, absolute Vulnerability and deep understanding. It's like you know this person has you figured deep down. I think one of the tests is that the fights need to fade away to create a true bond. If the person is acting lame, then fuck it. I mean at the end of the day what carries a relationship forward is passion to be with each other. This passion is rare. So my verdict is... Trenton is not for the long term. I constantly fear he would leave me. Just on a whim Much depends on the Masculinity of a man and what he wants to create with it If Trenton is true, wouldn't he put more effort into solidifying the relationship? The thing is no matter how unstable Trenton is and whatever maybe his pitfalls he will still try to solidify the bond because deep down he isn't going to betray. He wants his woman and he will try to keep her. It's the male Version of "keeping the man"

One of my greatest fears with Trenton is: what if he rejects me?

Just thinking about Trenton makes me feel so good. We fight. We clash with each other. But at the end of the day, he truly cares about me. He challenges the heck out of me. Tells me stuff that I don't wanna hear. Goes after me when he finds if fit. He criticizes me quite an awful lot. Yet I don't mind it. This is the base of our intimacy. He and I have made this pact together that we are one no matter what.. He calls me selfish sometimes. Attacks me Then calms down.... And guilts himself and apologizes. All I need to do is be sweet to him. These six characters are kinda okay or enough. I don't need to invent a new character for every new event. A character can easily compromise for a new event at least temporarily although it can taint the general vibe or description of that said character but this is better than inventing a million characters. Whats the imagery that comes to my mind when I think of Trenton? That we love to do drugs together. Psychedelics I suppose? I don't know. Trenton loves weed a lot. He smokes all day although I don't really appreciate him smoking weed. Trenton has bunch of cats. Oh God. Now that's a Huge attraction for me. A dude with cats!!!!! I absolutely adore cats. Cats are my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your Masculinity attracted me to you. Not my fault. Oh my God we're back again Brothers, sisters, everybody sing We're gonna bring the flavor show you how I've gotta question for ya Better answer now Am I original? (yeah) Am I the only one? (yeah) Am I sexual? (yeah) Am I everything you need? You better rock you body now Your penis is so good it makes me wet, you see.. I wish Trenton would do that to me in the back of his car.. I got the taste of you Trenton. Haha.. It wasn't my fault that you were walking with a heart balloon. I only happened to turn around and get a good look.

Why do you constantly keep saying sorry? I'm too crazy.. You can't handle me anyway. Handling me is no joke. I'm difficult. Don't be sorry for me

Look what they say about you Preety. This isn't about an offical relationship between a man and woman. It think it is about when you love someone who doesn't really know you love them. You are wanting to reveal your true feelings for them, but you don't know how they feel about you or how they will react. This explains the: "You are, my fire. The one, desire, Believe, when I say I want it that way." The man is secretly in love with the woman and is saying he wants her and only her. He wants it to stay that way. The only way that could change is if he gets rejected. They are "two world apart" and he can't "reach to her heart." So, he is keeping his feelings to himself at first. He is afraid if he tells her how he loves her "that way" she won't love him "that" same way. She may not feel "that" same way about him. This is what it means by: "Am I, your fire? Your one, desire, Yes I know, it's too late, But I want it that way" "Tell me why, Ain't nothin' but a heartache, Tell me why, Ain't nothin' but a mistake, Tell me why, I never wanna hear you say, I want it that way" The girl and him are not together but he want to be with her. He wants things to be one way but they are both living is two different worlds and there is no guarantee that she wants things "That" way. He is in love with a woman but he doesn't want to get rejected. But, she may not feel the same way about him. Regardless if she wants things the be the same way he does he will still continue to love her and want things to be "that" way even if they never will be.

The Backstreet Boys, never pass up an opportunity to sing their little lungs out. This song originated in such a way, whilst ordering some burgers (and milkshakes) at their local Burger King. One of the guys, oh, lets say the one with the....er...um....glasses...YES THATS it, was ordering for everyone and saw another persons order and sang "I want it THAT way" He really LOVES his burgers, bless his soul, and pretty soon he got carried away and started getting all mushy and junk. "You are, my fire"- a referencing to the 'flame broiling' "The one, desire, Believe, when I say I want it that way" Apparently one of the other guys, oh lets say the one with the.....uh....goatee, didn't want it "that way" and they started to sing argue. "Tell me why, Ain't nothin' but a heartache, Tell me why, Ain't nothin' but a mistake,"- "mistake" was originally "milkshake", turns out he was lactose intolerant" "Tell me why, I never wanna hear you say, I want it that way " Yeah, it almost broke up the band but good ol' Lou (Pearlman) was there to make things right (and eat up the leftovers). He changed a few words and the rest is music history. And you thought they didn't write their own songs ::tsk

Yeah You are my fire The one desire Believe when I say I want it that way But we are two worlds apart Can't reach to your heart When you say That I want it that way Tell me why Ain't nothin' but a heartache Tell me why Ain't nothin' but a mistake Tell me why I never wanna hear you say I want it that way Am I your fire? Your one desire Yes, I know it's too late But I want it that way Tell me why Ain't nothin' but a heartache Tell me why Ain't nothin' but a mistake Tell me why I never wanna hear you say I want it that way Now I can see that we've fallen apart From the way that it used to be, yeah No matter the distance I want you to know That deep down inside of me You are my fire The one desire You are (you are, you are, you are) Don't wanna hear you say Ain't nothin' but a heartache Ain't nothin' but a mistake (don't wanna hear you say) I never wanna hear you say (oh, yeah) I want it that way Tell me why Ain't nothin' but a heartache Tell me why Ain't nothing but a mistake Tell me why I never want to hear you say (never wanna hear you say) I want it that way Tell me why Ain't nothin' but a heartache Ain't nothin' but a mistake Tell me why I never want to hear you say (don't want to hear you say) I want it that way 'Cause I want it that way

If a girl is really into you, there is nothing to worry, no matter how much another guy games her, she will be yours. Only worry about your own game. If your game is not on point, then she won't be your girl for too long.

Not much is expected out of a woman. What is the test of her love? The test of her love is that she is into you. She wants you, she is attracted to you, she gives her heart and pussy to you. She is loyal to your affection. Feminine surrender basically. Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes.. Trenton says yes. What is the test of his love? The test of his love that he surrenders completely to her femininity and protects her life long becomes her husband and protector. And of course aligns and harmonizes with her. And compromises on his Masculinity in lieu of her femininity. Of course he should be able to do this naturally and effortlessly and efficiently because he is madly in love with her. Or else he will find it difficult to do this. That's the real test of his love. If he is madly in love with her and deeply connected with her, no way in the world would he deny anything she wants /says. He might surrender to her in the beginning but over time he won't be able to continue this act.. But the man who is drunk in pussy juice, and just wants his woman really bad, and absolutely loves her will have no problem in granting her wishes, in fact he would be more than happy and glad to do it for her because he knows it will make her happy. That's a true lover to her. The moment a man says "I", he stops being a true lover.

What I'm looking for Trust Intimacy Connection (deep) Sexiness Vulnerability Emotional connection (repeated point) Domination (too much to ask for) /challenging/grounding Surrender Containment Masculinity Understand/maturity Alignment and harmony It's not just sexual satisfaction. He needs to compromise on his Masculinity. (good in bed as well as listens to me)

Yea because he is attracted to me and then he feels like taming me sexually because taming me sexually is a sort of victory for him. After all he is taming a high strung uptight girl like me, for some men that can be a joy, a hunt, a stimulation, they won't feel like taming boring girls. There's that.

Chayne is so lovely. He gives me this protective home feeling Rupert is a kind of man I would like to marry. I always wanted a man who would discipline me. He is that way. He understands my weaknesses and flaws and instead of ignoring them he tries to actively challenge wherever he can to make me understand how things work. It's like he wants to know me inside out. He brings out the vulnerability in me.. Wilbur Wilbur brings out the strength in me. Reece Reece is someone who loves to hate me and hates to love me. It's a different kind of love. He keeps me company on cold nights. Reece is mysterious. He has this psycho side that also feels protective sometimes. Mae'rr He wants me to be on my toes all the time. Trenton And Trenton is the sweetest cutest messy hottie.. He brings out all of my girly feelings. How are they sexually with me? Chayne is almost platonic. I can't think of sex with him. Rupert sexualizes me and responds to my most primal carnal desires. He makes me animalistic. He brings out that inner s*t in me. I want to control but he tells me to let loose. He makes me feel owned. Wilbur is lovely and affectionate and helps me become a better version of myself. Mae'rr is probably the most masculine of all he is rough and tough. He is quite tall, 6 feet and a compact body. He overpowers me easily. He gets stuff done and takes no excuses. Reece would probably be extremely sexual with me. He would simply get too absorbed into pleasing me.