Preety_India

A bit of cheerfulness helps especially in social conditions. But how would you feel if you are discussing something very deep and serious and the guy is still acting cheerful? Being cheerful and being socially aware/acute are two different things. Nothing wrong about being cheerful and it makes for an easy conversation but people who take on uncomfortable truths and understand the intricacies of human condition are probably the best people I have met so far because they know that happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin, some cheerful people take things for granted and never take anything seriously which can be a bit annoying especially in the context of serious conversations where you want to develop that intimacy with them.

•____________________________________________________________________________• ✿_____________________________________✿ Preety : life is just a set of events that happen to us. Devon : life is what you make of it. Preety : true Devon. But you cannot ignore the value of the circumstances we're born into. I always feel like I needed a genuine connection. Someone who would understand my craziness.. ✿✿✿ Preety : she is like she could care less. Isn't she? She doesn't give a fuck how I feel. Anyway isn't it already clear that I'm emotionally unstable. Devon : being emotionally unstable sucks.

Preety : I feel like a ghost. It's tough to find awakening. Devon : that's because you take yourself for granted? Preety : do I? I don't know. Sometimes I don't have a clue. Just my autism and usual lack of social awareness. Devon : you have to keep going. You're strong. Sometimes we go through stuff in life that demands too much out of us, more than you/me can give. But you have to keep that flame burning. Only you can do this. You're an inspiration. You have been through so much, still you didn't lose courage. What makes you think you can't do that now? Preety : I want to look into my self. I want to know what I can create out of who I am. I have a fragmented sense of self. I don't like this world, I don't like it's people, although I always secretly hope that there would only be love, I feel like this world doesn't understand the deeper needs of being a human. I don't blame them because they have never felt such intense need to dissociate from everything. If they were trapped in a hell hole, they would scream for help. They wouldn't demonize screaming.

There's real evidence for reincarnation.

I don't think your concerns are childish. It's childish because you have probably outgrown your needs. Some people haven't, they probably need a hug? I feel like you have made a sarcastic post intended to demonize people who crave connection with strangers, you're just trying to inspire ridicule But hey, there are people out there who commit suicide because they are called fat. Maybe for you it's childish, not for them.

Now I'm imagining conversations between me and Devon

I give up.

There was a time in my life, especially when I had my first boyfriend and my first breakup that I had absolutely begun to despise men and developed a lot of biases around men. I went with this thought that men only hurt and every man would only hurt me. I think a lot of it had to do with my sexual repression due to cultural conditioning. I never really felt the sexual love of a man back then and any reference to sex used to make me not want the man. In the past few months, I underwent sexual healing, specifically opening up sexually and curing some of the sexual repression that went for so long without me realizing it. The cultural conditioning can be so brutal and deep, when I look back it's almost unimaginable. I would patriarchal sexual conditioning of women is probably the worst thing that can happen to a woman. The woman begins to absolutely detest men and anything regarding sex and almost thinks of sex like a liability rather than an enjoyable activity. This way she sees man only as some provider but fails to see a male for being a male, like she cannot relate to his horniness or his sensitivity as a male, his needs are almost forgotten. This culture is extremely detrimental to women because it hampers a man's need to satisfy a woman and it hampers a woman's positivity to a man, it leads to a lot of slut shaming, dare I say it, like shaming the woman for having sexual needs because it makes the patriarchy feel oppressed? So when I healed this side of me, I am not sure what changes are happening in me but now I look at men in a completely different way. I have begun to like men. I have begun to appreciate men.. I even find certain men (obviously the ones that attract me) very alluring and intoxicating. This change is on a ridiculous level.. I feel like I can actually fully love a man. I used to hate the idea of the penis. Now I absolutely love the idea of the penis. One of the reasons why this happened is that I experienced deep sexual love from a man and then everything changed. I think now I understand incels. I understand why they hate women. They never get laid and never get the sexual love of a woman causing them to fear/hate women. It's a form of internal alienation on a psychological level. But once these needs are met by a woman, then they won't hate women as much. For me this change happened. I received a man's love and that dramatically healed my inner Hate for men and all the biases I was holding on to for so long. Now I find men very attractive and intoxicating. Healing the inner incel... I wrote a journal on my sexual repression journey. Addressing the fear while writing this journal.... I still have fears of being slut shamed while writing this journal.. Slut shamed by the patriarchal gods for opening up about my sexual preferences and feelings. It's hard to do. I literally get a high heart rate while writing it as though I'm being punished. THAT Can be toxic Sexual shaming of women by patriarchal culture is extremely toxic.

Human love is very difficult.

To love someone truly.

If this one thing is resolved Devon then I would be jumping in air because all of my problems are solved. Really really really Devon. I'm praying.

I need a new character. I wanna be his girlfriend. A good girlfriend. A dominating guy. But he is benevolent. Whats his name? His name is Devon. I'm Devon's girlfriend. I'm Devon's girlfriend yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Devon has deep blue eyes and I'm absolutely besotted with him. I'm so excited to share my journey with him. He absolutely adores me. Devon is my boyfriend. My ultimate dream guy. He spanks me yay... My dream man. He does psychedelics and I wanna try all that with him. Devon does not fight with me. He simply let's time take its course. He doesn't decide things. He is patient. And understanding and smart. He looks deep into my eyes every time he talks to me. I feel like an absolute angel around him. He is so loving and so caring and protective of me. I don't know his zodiac but Devon is my angel. I love you Devon, I love you Devon is calm, sweet and amazing. Just like the way I wanted. He stole my heart I don't know about husband material but he and I have the best time together whenever possible. He is the best yay

I like his lips I like his hair I like his eyes. Mmmmmmm He is yummmmm

Mae'rr sends my beat pulsating. He is extremely Masculine and tough.. He doesn't take a no for an answer. And he knows exactly how I feel and what I want.. He stretches me on the bed. In between he leaves me to get some rope and ties me up.. Now he proceeds to fuck me really deep. I can feel his hard dick pulsating my body, pumping it, he is my master right now and I love these bdsm kinks with him. I make slow moaning noises. He is so sexually aggressive with me and he doesn't even stop He is like a master and I want to desperately submit to his demands.

Mae'rr is someone I'm deeply attracted to. He is so masculine I imagine him looking at me on my bed or soaking wet in the rains. He has a big body, a huge chest and he is absolutely pure masculine energy. I'm attracted to his shrewd and unabashed Masculinity. I want him to pump me up. He comes near me and pushes himself over me. I can feel his passion. I can feel him sensing my wild energy. And then he penetrates me hard. And rough. He doesn't stop and I give into his Masculine demands of absolute trust and passion. He keeps going and asks me if I belong to him and I moan and say yes. Yes I do. I belong to him in that time. He is pumping me so hard, I can't resist his force. I feel so happy. He is right into me, I feel him inside me and I feel I don't want to push him. I want him to keep going. I feel excited and aroused. He is hot as a freak. He understands what my body is craving for, his dick of course. Omg Mae'rr is very dominating. Omg. He is absolutely what I deeply crave sexually. I want him bad all day all night. I just can't live without what he is giving me, I just can't Mae'rr please fuck me hard. Do it, do it, have me all for yourself. You're the best, you know it. Mae'rr is quite smart, he caught my pulse..

Below

I haven't figured out how to get better yet Honey it's okay, you want someone to tell you that it's okay. I know. Right now my heart is screaming so loud. The sound could shatter window panes.

Please universe give me a sign I'm not smart enough and everything looks like a riddle.

Preety, just chill. Nothing is truly lost. I know you are going through some horrible Abandonment anxiety and severe emotional stress and it's kinda visible, I know it's difficult, it's tough, you tried to rely on anything that you get your hands on.. But don't give up or lose courage. It's not your fault darling. You did what you could in those circumstances. There are all Narcissistic selfish assholes around you but it's okay. You'll survive all that okay? Just focus on internalizing your love rather than externalizing it. Don't put so much trust and faith into the world that it gets broken all the time. Reserve some for yourself. I know that you are hungry and thirsty and needy af. But this only makes matters worse. Be self protective.

If random people just randomly hugged then this forum would have never existed.

Maybe all of this is because most of these children have been emotionally neglected by their parents in their early stages. Have you done research into how a fucked up childhood can turn kids into unstable adults? I exhibit a range of stuff that you have described above. I show extreme fragility and emotional instability. But much of my behavior is directly linked to not getting enough love or attention from super busy parents, bad parenting, too much emotional neglect and lack of friends in school. Also abusive boyfriends. Maybe whatever you are seeing is a symptom of a larger problem that is never addressed at its root. I would have never turned into a Hyper fragile sjw fucked up adult if I at least received a decent treatment as a child growing up. And this whole trend of mistreating and neglecting children during their core periods of growing up is not an isolated phenomenon. Mild child abuse has become very normal where parents are busy in their own lives and routinely neglect children who then get bullied in their classrooms. If something is happening on a broad scale, it's a symptom of a larger and deeper problem that is going unnoticed.

A true heart will always love you no matter what A true heart is what the universe is. It's a manifestation of all love. That's the only love that matters.

The universe always loves you preety

Maybe because social media has helped create awareness and reduce the stigma around mental illness and has caused mentally ill people to open up about their problems more frequently. It gives off the illusion that mental illness is on the rise. At the same time, you can always see that people are too much into video games and other stuff and human relationships are in limbo, it's a worldwide phenomenon where the quality of human connection is rapidly declining, Narcissism is on the rise and as a result people are slowly developing symptoms of mental illness, this is no surprise considering the shitty nature of human relationships right now. Although social media should have ironically helped people come together it is sadly doing the opposite and turning people into isolated islands

I lived with Stockholm Syndrome for a very long time and began to love my abusers..