Preety_India

Satan meditation helps. Caffeine and music helps to dumb down bpd and brings clarity.

The other stuff.

My Insights after 2 rigorous days of caffeine. One is that I need a leader to lead me. That I have deep neediness that's not healed and I'm a codependent I can't differentiate between abuse and love.

@JuliusCaesar I'm extremely careful.

They aren't running the country.

My Insights after 2 rigorous days of caffeine. I did caffeine because I had been dealing with a breakup. I found it difficult to cope. Felt better. My bpd was kicking in very badly because of the breakup. But the caffeine took care of it. When I feel too high, I wash down the caffeine with extremely cold water, shots of water continuously for hours will drain the caffeine from the system once I don't want it to stay. Till then nice high.

So far the results are good. It has kept me giddy. Adrenaline. Helped improve bpd moods. I can do this on weekends. Not too much. Calibrated amounts till I reach a high/peak.

@funcool omg yeah. That's how I can describe it. I felt intense synchronicity and then I could have these psychic downloads about myself. I could feel things around me, my thoughts were clearer and Lucid. I can easily tell the difference when I have taken a dose of caffeine for the whole day (I keep sipping every 2 hours till the whole day) The effect lasts up to few hours to a full day. And my thoughts and mental state are very different from the days when I'm not on caffeine.. The adrenaline is obvious so I take few sips so that it doesn't shoot. Tolerance grows slowly. Now the effects are these Alert state Synchronicity Brings euphoric feelings Reduces my depression a bit Controls my bpd on the worst days Causes crashes due to high energy state during comedown Excessive sleep during withdrawal /deep sleep /almost crash sleep Giddy "high" Clearer thoughts Hyper awareness Able to sync with my inner feelings/thoughts better Repressed emotions/thoughts tend to flow out Sleeplessness in the beginning. But later it's okay. Past two days whole did caffeine and had much more clarity in my thoughts. Like I could really bring it to the surface what my heart really wanted. Couldn't achieve that before.

It's like I always go into more and more refined states with music.. My inner self slowly peeps out. Just listen to your heart Babloo

My diary.

Dude you are funny Orgasms are directly proportional to sex language. Master your language. Master your orgasm. It's intergalactic tantric sex that gives best orgasms. Ahem cough cough.

There's a difference between a daddy and a boss

Did anyone experience psychic attacks? And how did it feel? And what remedies did you use?

@Gianna thank you Gianna. That was lovely. @RickyFitts thank you.

My sex language is - submissive My love language is - confrontation and being challenged, being protected, being emotionally and mentally intimate. I don't like being praised/coddled. If someone praises me, I'm no longer attracted to them.

I have no idea how to figure out a love language. How is it supposed to be done. And a Sex language Well I know my sex language. It's something that puts me in a deep subdued state where I go completely silent and look into the eyes of the man doing things to me I just wish to be lost into it. But what about my love language? I feel a bit tensed in relationships. I need to feel hugged at night. I need to feel heard and responded to. I need to be talked to. To be owned. To be told To be confronted. I like to be dominated No way am I going to dominate a guy ever I have never dominated a guy in any of my past relationships ever Even the lamest guy managed to dominate me somehow. Because I can never do it. I can never handle a submissive guy. I would simply not want to dominate him I would find him too lame or too cowardly for myself or too passive. Like someone who cannot dominate me. I need intense domination in a relationship for it to work. A submissive guy will make me feel "not bossed" I need a guy who handles me like a boss. Let me see a quick list My first boyfriend - dominating My second boyfriend - controlling and dominating. He would make all decisions My third boyfriend - extremely dominating. I couldn't handle it. He literally owned my life. If I notice the pattern of my past boyfriends, I don't see any submissive or passive guy. No nice guy. All bad boys or dominant guys. Hm .

I think along with a love language there's also something like a Sex language?

I was feeling a bit ashamed to reopen this journal after so many days but here I am I thought of this journal today.

Found this. Close to my heart.

Nice one. Today is Buddha Purnima.

Enough of your moral/spiritual superiority bull lol. I don't fall for it either goodbye

@Eph75 maybe it is development and actualization Mr patriarchy haha

Isn't this a non issue? Wait a minute. Biden came to power because a large number of Americans voted Democrat. Now America is largely a Christian nation and I believe non Christians are a minority in America. So this means a large percentage of Christians voted Democrat? Whats the problem?

Broadly, what are the dangers of psychedelics? I'm getting increasingly frustrated how this place keep promoting psychedelics so freely.