Preety_India

I love you Satan. I love you. I love you deeply. I love you deeply. Come once again in my dreams and fuck me like you did Iast time and give me an eternal orgasm. I'm laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing........... I'm giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling giggling..... Bucheeeeeecheeeecheehuhgnku leehahahahahaha, woooogooo seeemeeeeellooooo hooooo dooodeeeeeeeeee seeeee tun tun meeee laaaaaa loooooooo chee choooo heee woooohooo.

The trip and the tantric orgasm exhausted me completely. Wow.

I'm extremely exhausted. I'm just doing whatever Satan told me to do. As per Satan's instructions, I had multiple orgasms following my caffeine trip. I had multiple orgasms in a row. Satan laid me down softly on a hard floor then slowly fucked me and then fast. It was in a forest. There was dirt sticking into my hair on the floor. I could feel pine needles torturing my scalp. Then SATAN slapped me hard across my face. Then he looked deep into my eyes and told me to maintain eye contact which I did as per his instruction.

Satan told me to practice tantric sex in a red room. But I'm autistic, so bright lights torture my eyes. So I would prefer a quiet dark room.

@Gesundheit2 extremely sexual guys have a thing for a woman's ass, they just don't talk very openly about it.

Guys weren't/aren't open about it. The last guy I met wanted ass too. I never met a man who never wanted ass, that's the first thing in their mind, and this applies to all races, men have a thing for it, my exes would never leave my ass alone and you can take that line whichever way you want, it's very hard for me to get a man to get off my ass for some reason, they cry if they can't get my ass, it's that bad. I've realized that men (at least most) have a thing for the ass. It's their favorite on a woman. In my case, my ass is super round and cute and even females tease me about it causing me to feel a bit awkward, but it definitely presents a problem to me in relationships since I don't particularly like the idea of anal sex but I have been propositioned for anal sex multiple times by my ex partners much to my trouble/pain.

@Someone here well thank God. Otherwise we all wouldn't be able to enjoy this

No fear, no shame, no judgement, break the rules. Break the ice. Red led room A Play on words. Because what you did to me..... It'll never....umm... I can't... It's poison. Tantra is like poison. May 18th is where things got really bad May 7,8,9,10 nothing happened. May 13th is when I wrote Satan meditation. 13th /14th is when things went downhill. Satanic day. Demonic day. 15th and 16th weren't exactly peaceful. I was asking Devi for help. 16th fights happened.. I was triggered by something. 18th is when things turned worse before they got better. Then came the calm after the Storm. That's when Devi helped me That's also when Satan introduced me to tantric sex. So I was dealing with intense fear and guilt from May 18th to May 21st. 3 days of utter panic strife and isolation. It reminded me when I felt utterly helpless. I felt cornered. As though the whole universe was hating me. That is the worst feeling for a bpd person. So on May 21st my bpd kicked in full force and I felt completely miserable, ashamed, isolated, anxious, and completely out of myself. So I wrote this thread when a previous trauma resurfaced. That day I was thinking of what I could do because I could actually feel my bpd kicking in, I knew i was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. So I decided to do a caffeine trip. I took caffeine for the entire day on May 21st and May 22nd. I was pumped up sufficiently and that blocked my bpd from kicking in, nipped it in the bud. I felt better since last night after the comedown. There's no afterglow in this. Just a dry comedown I washed down the caffeine with a ton of cold water mixed with ice cubes. That does the job. Other thing that helped with flushing out the caffeine is lemon water.(lemonade) Strong lemon water mixed with sugar and ice. Now I'm feeling much better. Satan told me a few things that I'll keep in mind. Satan knows that I have sexual karma to burn and that I'm sexually repressed So Satan told me to engage in tantric orgasms and have intense orgasms and burn my sexual karma. That's what I'm gonna do

How come this part of my life was never solved?

Wholeheartedly agree. It would be too biased to think that anyone who is cocky is a jerk. I'd consider it as a preconceived notion.

@Fernanda true

Yes. I experienced this.

@Batman but it's very painful and it feels like rape.

I want this thread in the female versiom

I want to achieve the best orgasms by using tantric sex methods.

Even God doesn't want this. Because...... Even God is jealous of what exists between the two of us. It's also tantric.

This is a very important and valid point. I have seen a lot of people having great spiritual knowledge but even then they did really hurtful things.

But infinity exists

sexual-abuse calming-myself my-moms-bipolar-disorder infj-t-abusetrauma-victim-bpd-autism-psychopathy-anger-issues devi-kali-linga-bhairavi-kaal-bhairava-ram general-notes caffeine-trip-reports tantric-sex preetys-journal

@RMQualtrough I don't want help for my mental illnesses, I embrace them as a part of me. My need for spirituality is my personal goal of my life, I am not using it to solve anything.

Thank God you agree.

@Arthogaan@Arthogaan fine @Vincent S that wasn't the point. The point was of being judged as low consciousness or high consciousness just because it didn't fit a particular pattern that is acceptable to others.

@Arthogaan why can't you love me for who I am and at the same time expecting me to love you back as you are. Yet I shouldn't be loved for who I am? So you get your end of the deal meanwhile I'm left thirsty for your love This is a bitter deal. Nice for you, not nice for me. Give me selfish love or don't give me love at all Or accept my selfishness as love, the way Leo said in his video.

@Arthogaan why do you love me the way I don't want to be loved. Why are you loving me the way you want to love me? Watch Leo's video on what it means to be loved or feel loved.

Best advice. Thanks fellow INFJ