Preety_India

I've been so sleepy and tired. Exhausted. I don't know what caused my exhaustion because I don't remember doing anything particular. I think I just woke up at that time and I don't remember doing much else. Maybe I woke up and slept again? I need to a bunch of stuff today.. Today is November 23. 7 days to go and I'll have so much more to do. I still feel sleepy.. I had taken a month's break on the forum and.

Breathe deeply. Just relax. Sleep if needed. Find the sweater and wear it and keep comfy. Make soups during winter. Eat a lot and drink plenty to keep warm. Keep clean and clutter free Take care of grooming don't stay dry. Invest a bit in self love. Straighten up stuff.

Telling myself to drink a lot of water today. Work on your shadow around relaxing and getting rest. I really need a ton of rest.

I'm so hungry right now. I generally feel hungrier in winter than usual..

I've begun to focus on my projects now. This is good.

I got stuff to do. So I'll continue this later

I was asleep thinking that I had so many things going on that I wanted to vent about

First things first. I'm not a party girl. Saying it straight. I'm just an ordinary girl on the street corner reading her book or sitting sipping coffee. I'm a shy, introverted nerdy girl who is easily sensitive. I'm not exactly proud of it but this is how I was born, this is my nature and I have come to embrace it. So this party lifestyle is super alien to me. I can't do these things. I can't dress up and go to a party and dance on the floor. I have never done that and most likely will never do. At the most I have only been to birthday parties. I never drink or smoke. I never smoke in my entire life. Loud noise impacts me and raises my heart beat so noisy events are a no go for me. But this does not mean that I am boring. I can dance in my bedroom or a dance class. I love gardening, cooking, working, raising pets, reading, watching, listening, music and travel. I have many other interests and I like being creative in my own meager ways. So whenever Leo talks about partying, I just can't do that. I cannot make myself do it. Do I envy party goers? Do I think that they have more fun in life? Personally I don't envy them at all. Because I always believe people have the right to spend their time how they want and whatever makes them happy should be their choice. If their party lifestyle is fun for them, I'm all for it.. However I don't think that a party lifestyle would make me happy no matter how rich I might be. I'm just a regular,ordinary homebuddy, your average girl. What they call it the homebody. Given my social anxiety and lack of social skills, a party lifestyle could easily make me very anxious. Being around large groups of people lot of noise, booze, strangers all around can literally cause me to panic. I need a foundation, a feeling to connect or resonate with, someone I can trust. I hardly ever open up. So if I open up it has to be with a person I fully trust.

Oki time to vent again. This time about Leo's dating videos and generally all threads on pick up dating strategies on this forum especially the dating section. I'm finally coming close to resolving a huge conflict I always had with the whole pickup lifestyle that is so constantly talked to no end in the dating section.. Today someone on the forum helped me resolve my feelings around.. I'm not into slut shaming, general shaming or judging people. At the same time I don't want something to become a gold standard of sorts because there all kinds of people living in society and everyone deserves the right to feel accommodated. So I'm about to resolve my dilemma around this issue finally I don't exactly hate pickup but I have some vexatious feelings around it. I feel a sense of discomfort and I will let it all out, as to why I feel this discomfort around pickup in following posts below.

@Marcel I love you very deeply my Prince Charming, the prince of my heart. You are my wonderful angelic lover. I don't know how I can even think of living without you.. You have my soul my heart my everything you are the one who stole it. I want to lay at your feet and worship you. You are my prince. I'm so madly in love with you. I want to stay in your heart till the day i die and beyond. I love you unconditionally Yea that's how I feel . I feel deeply connected to you. I can't explain it in words. It's as though I was made only for you I feel like worshipping you You understand my sensitive heart really well I am eternally bonded to you You are my soulmate, my eternal lover.

If the guy Really has sexual assault charges against him, you should totally avoid this. OK have a read. https://www.sbs.com.au/news/the-feed/the-murky-world-of-pickup-artists-and-how-they-navigate-consent Lmao he is even considered a scam on this reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/lsewc0/john_anthony_lifestyle_scam_and_worst_pua_in_the/

I think maybe you have a shadow about it as you have stated already. I'm an introvert and too shy to be around groups of people. But my problem is not the you stated. Like I don't have any issue or insecurity regarding people having fun or clubbing. It's only that I didn't know how to place myself in that context and that generated conflict. So I'm not envious of them. It's only that I find it annoying that people pressure me to do that or accept it which I can't because I just don't like it. It's just not my thing. I was thinking about it for too long and constantly resisting it, but also wondering why I make such a big deal out of it, that's because of the resistance I have towards it. Now I understand finally why I was being so resistant to it, it's because it doesn't fit my emotional pattern or emotional needs. So it's best for me to not think about it too much as it doesn't emotionally serve my purpose ultimately.

I'm not sure to what degree this is because of culture or psychological. I constantly feel this is biological. Kinda hard wired for it.

Let's destroy uglism together. Girls get discriminated as "hot" versus "average" or even "ugly" and only hot girls are desired and not the average ones. How about ending this discrimination based on beauty standards. Lets destroy everything that is considered as unattractive and that way we can be so so happy about our insecurities. Lmao this thread.

You're strong. Believe in yourself. Everything is possible. Hang on. Have hope and never give up no matter what.

For some reason I just can't have sex like that. I just get so emotional during sex that I might end up crying later. I cannot even imagine sleeping with many people at the same time. For me sex is a deeply emotional intimate thing that I just can't share randomly at all. I might easily get attached to the person I'm having sex with. Just how I'm. My preference I mean.

Because it's self imposed isolation.

@Something Funny @Something Funny I have always believed in serious relationships because of how emotional I can be. I don't want to sound judgemental either, but clubbing is just not my cup of tea either. I have actually never been to a club. I don't see that as a place for serious relationships. Also I wouldn't want to hook up with men who hang out at clubs for the same reason that you stated. Your reasons helped me understand my own reasons as to why I avoid such places. Thanks for sharing, as it helped me refine my own perspective a bit. (I was kinda too confused about this whole clubbing thing that I need to stop thinking about.)

I find it difficult to grasp UK politics for some reason. I'm not surprised that Jordan is a bit clueless too.

@Something Funny @Something Funny I agree with some of your points like finding someone who is passionate about their job, I guess that's the harder part. Yet I don't find it unhealthy or bad. Now I'm not demonizing gaming but look at it this way. Let's see I am approached by a stranger at a club who is hot and handsome and knows how to attract me. I'm feeling attracted to him, I kinda develop feelings and we end up having sex in his car or something. But after that he is a no show, meanwhile I might have this expectation to find something more to it and feel disappointed that there wasn't a second date. Or that I found him sleeping with another the next night. I think I might feel used that way or might feel depressed because my expectation was squashed. I would probably be less likely to sleep with a stranger again because I wouldn't want a repeat experience. In that case if i find a male stripper /escort who is willing to give me his company for the night and I simply have to pay for it, I might not feel so used because it's just a contract, I might not have any expectations beyond that contract, I'm not exactly having any feelings about it so no need to feel hurt or abandoned or disappointed in any way because there is nothing to look forward to, plus if I'm feeling lonely or sexually deprived, it's a good way of having company as well as sexual satisfaction. I would find it better than feeling dumped after being pumped by some random hot club dude.

@Random witch I have seen you before on the forum. Your posts are excellent. I love reading your stuff.

There are millionaires and billionaires who do this because they don't want the burden and hassle of a girlfriend or wife, divorce, child support etc etc. You really think they have shitty lives.

I don't know why it's supposed to be an emotionless robot. What's the point of emotions anyway if it's just going to be a one night stand anyway, I don't see any depth. Isn't that like being used? I don't see anything robotic about a hired person unless you're already approaching it with that frame.

Whatever I said was only in the context of sex, not intimacy. Some people are probably not very interested in intimacy, maybe they are not that emotional. It's different for everyone.. No craving is holier than thou, even validation to be desired is an ego validation, not better or superior to a primal sex craving. You see.

Lmao don't get me wrong. I'm not like that at all. I have never hired anyone. I was only saying that I won't judge it or I don't see anything wrong with it. I love deep intimacy and connection and emotional bonding. In fact I have never had casual sex. I only have LTR, long term relationship and I have never slept with some stranger or engaged in casual sex. I don't believe in only satisfying sexual needs because I'm an emotional kind of person who loves emotional connection and affection. I am the lovey dovey poet type. But like I said I don't demonize or think bad about those who want to fulfill their wants by commercial means..