tsuki

By fading away, I mean - getting lost in the minutia of everyday life. By embodiment, I mean - getting your life in order, your priorities straight, so that it helps you support your insight. The mind is a crutch. If you can't walk straight, you need one to function. I'm not too familiar with yogic classifications and I never sought recognition from any master with a lineage, so my self-assessment is of little value. If you post any resources here about this state of consciousness, I will read it and reply. It would also help if you clarified what you mean by 'enlightenment'.

I haven't gone too deep with psychedelics yet, but I'm going to share my two cents for whatever the cents are worth. Enlightenment is not something that can be thought of in isolation, like in a question "can someone be permanently enlightened through psychedelics?". Enlightenment happens as an experience, but it fades away very quickly if it is not backed up by, let's say, a lifestyle, embodiment. Psychedelics can certainly produce 'awakenings' or 'enlightenment experiences' and very deep ones at that. Perhaps, they can even show you things beyond the human capacity to embody. This can be very useful if someone wants to construct a mental scaffolding for the path that lies ahead, but that does not make the path any easier to follow. It can also be useful if mental scaffolding needs to be torn down in order to integrate experiences one previously had. It can also 'flesh out' theoretical knowledge from scriptures with undeniable experience and give it a new dimension of certainty. I do not believe that it is possible to 'become enlightened' through any practice in particular, or at least it is not how it happened in my case. Psychedelics are very powerful, but power is merely a lever that can amplify your capability to make your intent actual, regardless of whether it is wise or not.

Enlightenment is beyond experience in the sense that experience implies an experiencer. Perception implies perceiver, etc. The more subtle the I is, the more 'real' reality is. Non existence does not exist.

@AlphaAbundance Focusing on one thing, making your life revolve around seeking. Serious practice requires effort.

No. It is useful if being is the only meaningful thing though.

If you seek enlightenment out of the need to be great, that that's great as long as you do the practices. The practices will make you surrender that reason eventually when you understand what value is. Do the practices.

@Bill W @Bill W Ahhh... AA. I should have known better. Thank you! ?

@Bill W

Sinking the mind in the breath: day #6 Today I woke up without neck pain and well-rested despite the fact that I was sleeping during the day and I was half-awake during the night. I had two dreams today. One was a recurring theme, in which I suddenly remember that I'm still in college and I wasn't attending any classes so I will have to repeat the year. I woke up to shake free off this feeling and centered myself in the present moment immediately. Waking up from dreams consciously is not something I do too often though. I used to do that all the time when I was a child, but I gradually lost my lucid dreaming abilities as I grew older. I recognized that the second dream was a reconfigured version of a dream I had in the past. It was also about attending classes, but this time, the whole class was not attending them. As a middle schooler I was asked to talk to the teacher, but he was never available for whatever reason. In this version of the dream, he was in the class and it turned out that he was an unexpectedly cool guy and the lessons went on normally. In the other version of the dream, I had to fight him as if he was a boss in a videogame. Still, during today's dream I remembered the last one and waited anxiously for the confrontation just to feel relieved when there was none. After waking up, I did not feel the clarity and peace I was looking for, so I sat down to meditate and discovered that I'm still subliminally anxious about the dreams. Their theme is unusual because I never skipped any classes and was considered a good student. This anxiety was not a conditioned response to getting into trouble for being a slacker, but the fear of being a slacker was what pushed me to be a good student. I investigated the first dream during my meditation and my intuition led me to my childhood memory where my father would 'coach' me to study. He used to tell me that if I won't study, I will work on a parking lot and open the barrier for my classmates when we get older. I was not able to answer why would I not want that as a child, but it seemed to have dispelled the morning "anxiety". Me and my wife had a walk to the forest and I could write a whole book about what was happening in my body if I remembered any of it. At some point I realized that I do in fact have a headache that slowly developed into a huge pain in the ass (not literally lol). I usually choose to feel the pain to not forget that my body is telling me to chill, but this time I chose to take a pill. I took my wife on a date and we had a tasty pizza and focaccia. Generally speaking, I feel much more relaxed ever since I chose to focus on the breath and much happier. My life is reorganized in such a way that I get a clear mind during my meditation practice. Not an easy task, but a worthwhile one.

I was semi-serious about this reasoning. I don't consume sugar regularly, if I have cravings I usually go for cashews with dried cranberry or cocoa bars. My only sugar source is from sweetened yogurt and I may be cutting them too once I get free of my coffee addiction. Meetings with my family are a different thing though, my mother does not seem to understand why I refuse sweets and will just 'leave them here if I change my mind'. I used to be much more strict about this and would literally throw them into the trash bin, but this only made people resentful lol. Did you figure out why you need to comfort yourself though? What is the need that the sweets are supposed to stand in for?

Sinking the mind in the breath: day #5 Today I woke up well-rested, without neck pain. I spent the first half of the day with my parents and my sister, and the second half alone in meditation and sleep. Today's zazen sit was very peaceful, I was able to relax myself very easily and deeply and focus on the breath. I found a new pleasure in performing dhyana mudra deliberately because I understood its symbolic meaning that relates to focus. During the sit, the most immediate sign of tension is my eyelids flickering when I'm trying to close them halfway. At some point, the body gives in and there is stable, peaceful, state from which meditation can happen. Again, it is important to not confuse focus with relaxation. Trying to control the body only makes it more tense. When it comes to quieting the mind during the day, I'm doing my best to keep my body relaxed and using the breath as a focal point when I'm not occupied with doing anything. A long forgotten truth came up that meditation is the only thing worth doing when I'm not working. I started reading Bhagavad Gita (as it is) and I'm in love. There is a part of me that still rejects it as dogmatic, but I rest that rejection on my actual understanding of the book. Absorbing it as a belief system can only work when religious knowledge (gnosis) is not fleshed out with mystical experiences. Human understanding is, at some point, transcended into inhuman brilliance that can be easily mistaken for religious zealotry. The way to ground this ecstatic spark is by understanding that it does not invalidate scientific pursuits, the modern world, or its technological advancements. My coffee addiction is still under control. Unfortunately, I had some sugar today but I gave in for social purposes (family).

@Identity Nope, it's not love, it's ignorance.

I think that it is only possible to get stuck at any particular stage if you are relying too much on your immediate environment to grow you. Getting stuck simply means that you are using something that causes your problems to solve them. There is only so much suffering you can stomach before you self reflect and step out of your comfort zone.

@jerrypua I'd say it depends on the time investment you are willing to make. Some people are not developed enough to recognize the value of letting go and mistake it for weakness. Maybe they were weak themselves and other people bulled them in the past? Now, they learned to pick on people they perceive as passive to release the stored aggression in ways they were taught... While seeing through suffering of others certainly eases your own, you must realize that shrugging it off because you are 'better' only creates trauma that you will have to deal with later on. Retaliation can only be used as a short-term solution because it also takes a toll on your well-being. I'd say - if you're moving out soon, then keep destroying him. Otherwise - you will have to make some new friends.

EUREKA! My mind is supposed to focus on deep breathing.

Sinking the mind in the breath: day #4 Today it took me 4 (!) hours to wake up properly. Today was pretty hectic because my wife was preparing for a challenging day at work while keeping to her resolve to cook healthy food. No walk to the forest today, but I did go to the grocery store and meditated. Thanks to yesterday's turmoil, I was mindful enough to stretch my neck and remembered that skipping coffee is apparently a big deal for my body. That calmed me a bit and gave me space to notice that today's turmoil is fueled by... horniness . Taking care of that was a relief. When I was driving my wife to work, I noticed that there is always something missing and that we are always in reaction to a need that is present at hand. The point of the thoughtlessness is not to be devoid of needs, to bypass them, but to resolve them without hesitation! My will to relax needs to be informed by the world, not to be clung to in itself. I want to be a superconductor, not a capacitor. Unfortunately, these insights are only obvious when I look back from a point of clarity. When I'm struggling, I'm not sure whether I'm clear or not and that is a sure sign of a lack of clarity.

If you want to hear something, you can turn the volume up, or listen more attentively.

Following Jesus is as much of a path as Eastern traditions with their meditation are. Arguing against meditation from within Christian paradigm works only for people engaged in Christianity. Yes, meditation will cause you a lot of suffering, but so will the Catholic Church. However, the argument is solid in the case when meditation is sold to mainstream audience as a cure-it-all pill with no further information. Spirituality is not a toy. If you're not willing to face your own demons, stay away and have them torment you... ...or hand them over to Christ.

@The Don Awesome video! I had some of my biggest breakthroughs when contemplating the separation of senses (how sight is separated from hearing for example). This relates a lot to my experience.

@Truth Addict Great post!

@Nicachi Too good to be true, right? Every single thing you do is exactly as it should be. Do you still feel like you are doing things, or does it do itself?

Today's walk to the forest was very noisy with thoughts, I could not relax myself properly. At some point, after struggling I saw that the struggle itself is the problem and I let go. Every day when I wake up, my system is all messed up by sleep and I have to wake up twice. The second waking up is when the mind gives in and relaxes to the will. It's like it suddenly becomes flaccid, malleable, relaxed. Sometimes it feels like the inside of my body relaxes, expands, almost with a ripping sound. This time around it happened during a walk. With a newly found clarity, I remembered that I skipped my coffee today and that my neck hurts because I haven't been stretching it properly. This is what spiraled out to create the mess. Struggle in itself is a sign of contraction. Expansion is due to grace.

Sinking the mind in the breath: day #3 Emotions started coming up. Yesterday, I had a release in the morning while being touched, and in the afternoon while watching trees being moved by the wind. Self-doubt and self-criticism started coming up as a response to my emotional state. The content of those thoughts circulated around my perceived rejection by two members of this forum. I started doubting my capability to help people and if I'm really qualified to give them advice. I've seen this movement many times and rested it on my habitual tendency to underestimate the amount of work I've put. Yesterday, for the first time, a spontaneous thought came up that said 'thinking feels unnatural'. Relaxing thoughts down feels like a cold liquid is sinking down my body-sponge, towards my belly. The best way to describe how it feels when this liquid is absent from the head is: 'clarity'. When my awareness is not occupied with relaxation, the center of gravity keeps being down, but thoughts start whispering. They are not like my regular way of thinking: they are very subtle and hmmm... blurred. They stop "sounding" like language, but they keep conveying meaning somehow. That is good, I want to keep the meaning, but dispose with "verbalization". I also started being interested in the operation of my body. Today I will be skipping coffee and I will avoid overstimulating my nervous system. Music is still off-limits: it is so violent that memory-ripples it creates are unbearable. Fortunately, relaxing the mind started to be more effective and silence is much more pleasurable anyways. Some time ago I tried on noise cancelling headphones and immediately fell in love with them. They are very expensive and I don't feel comfortable buying them because my wife is trying learn to be frugal. Still, I think that they are not a whim, but a genuine need given the circumstances I'm in. The only doubt I'm having is that I want to keep practicing relaxation in a stimulating environment to build the habit. These headphones are like side-wheels for a children's bike and ultimately - an obstacle.