tsuki

@Dumb Enlightened That sounds like spiritual ego. @now is forever You are prejudiced against empty stuff. Darkness is light. Great post.

@andyjohnsonman There are two kinds of knowledge. Conventional and non-conventional. I'm making these names up, so don't make a fuss about it. Conventional knowledge is just belief. Probably most if not all knowledge you have is belief. I call it belief because what holds it in place is ignorance. Ignorance is blindness - unwillingness, or lack of ability to question/challenge. This is what holds your world together. Unconventional knowledge emerges when you free yourself of beliefs. When you question them to death, to the point when it will seem as if you genuinely don't know anything. That you're not even sure if you are a human, or if you live on earth, or if yesterday happened. When you're unsure whether you were even born, or whether you will die. This is the place from which you can get insights like Leo presents to you in videos. This is the point of deconstruction and a place from which true contemplation can begin. You can listen to unconventional knowledge, but it will be incorporated into your conventional reality as something that upholds its structure. Truth does not work like that. If you heard the truth for what it is, you would be swept clean off your feet. If it doesn't sound like that, then it means that you are probably not hearing it, or it became mundane to you. I'm betting on the first option.

@Manjushri Stop fighting the mind. Fighting the mind is like wrestling with a pig. After 6 hours you realize that the mind loves it.

@flowboy Say hi to our mutual friend, Allan Watts . What is the Tao? Your ordinary mind is the Tao. How can I be in accord with it? When you try to accord with it, you deviate from it.

@kieranperez Given what I know about you from your posts, 210 ug is very risky. I had my first trip recently with 100 ug and I was glad that it was all I took that day. It was not an easy ride by no measure. There is no shame in starting off at low dosages, believe me. One of the insights I got is that if I'm stupid enough to let my ego decide the dose, the trip will be a perfect lesson for it to know its place.

@flowboy Is thinking in opposition to intuition? Did you plan your thoughts, or do they arise spontaneously? (I'm picking on you, aren't I? )

@SoonHei It's not that someone is paying the price. Both of you are paying it. The other person is hurt, but you feel guilty. That's being hurt too! You can't relieve the other person's suffering, so why not focus on your own? It's a part of the bargain, right? You caused that too! Clean that up. Let go. It's not just to suffer eye for an eye. This way, you're both blind, and at least one of you could be healthy.

@flowboy Yeah, I know now that I got attracted to this journal because of my own issues. Thanks for an opportunity to confirm it.

Every day.

@Nahm May I try too? The mind is desire and suffering. When something that is considered unpleasant arises, thoughts bubble up to divert attention from the present moment. These thoughts frantically examine what is needed to stop suffering. That is desire. In order to satisfy it, we attach to resources and think how to obtain them. This is how plans are born. Whatever disrupts our plans, we call unpleasant. When something that is considered unpleasant arises... (see the beginning). This is mind and it is identical with suffering. Suffering is identical with desire. Liberation comes from accepting presence. Whatever arises, arises. Is this what you call love?

@How to be wise Please try not to take the title too personally. It's not meant to imply that you're stupid. I took 100ug of LSD about a month ago and yes, the way you perceive the world returns somewhere near the state where you've been before, but you get to see reality through a different perspective. Think of it in terms of throwing a dynamite down the toilet to have something to clean. It gives you a lesson you need to work through and it's nothing I could have come up with on my own. You never know what you'll get, but it's relevant and wisdom stays with you.

@flowboy That sounds like authentic vulnerability. It communicates that you're not uncomfortable with the fact that you are uncomfortable. Notice that nice guys are uncomfortable with the fact that they are uncomfortable, so they hide behind the Nice Guy persona. The macho man communicates: hurt me, and I will end you. The vulnerable man communicates: hurt me, and I will enjoy it. The first one makes the inner animal tense, alert. The second one gives space for mistakes without sounding meek. Notice, that if you truly enjoy the so-called negative feelings, you're much stronger than a man that constructs an image tailored to avoid them. Of course, that doesn't mean that you seek them deliberately (that would be spiritual practice or stupidity), but you're simply at ease with whatever happens. it seems to coincide with your recent insights about women and money. I don't know the general population of women well enough to say that it's a good gaming strategy. I'd expect that women that are conditioned to seek macho men would dismiss vulnerability. I'm not sure whether I would like to be in a relationship with a woman like that though (not judging here). Generally, I think that radical honesty is the way to go in relationships because it attracts people to your true nature that is projected effortlessly.

@How to be wise Don't worry. Nobody treats your experience as inferior because you haven't tried psychedelics. Even if you did try them, they wouldn't 'stain' you. Do they feel like cheating to you?

@Nadosa You seem to have had a huge dis-identification, but you are on the edge of whether you should identify with the mind or not. Look around you, none of that is you. The space in which thoughts arise is not different from the space in which you see. As you are reading this text, there is a voice that spells what I wrote. The sight of the text is not different from the voice. You are thinking right here, on the screen. You are not a thought and thoughts don't seem to like that. There is an emotional turmoil. It will settle down with time. You can start believing thoughts again, or resist this urge. Either way is fine. Let it go and breathe.

@Zigzag Idiot Thanks. I suppose that it may have been an opportunity for me to self-reflect. Upon sleeping on this, I realized that vulnerability is not in opposition to self-image at all. It's not a spectrum, but a synergy. The act of sharing things that are inwardly rejected is how we become vulnerable in the social sphere. Rejection of those things is, after all, based on our self-image, so the ones that have no self-image cannot be vulnerable. So, it's about me after all. Sorry @flowboy for this intermission.

@flowboy Ahem. So, before I say what I want to say - let me first give you some background so that we don't misunderstand each other. I definitely do not have as much dating experience as you do - in fact, I married the first woman that I dated in my adult life. I'm saying this because what I'm about to say may not apply to you at all, so it's not like I'm trying to teach you, or anything. More than that - I haven't even read your whole journal, so I'm not even sure if I understand you correctly. Nevertheless... When it comes to vulnerability with women, I think that it's easily misunderstood, because before we get comfortable around them, we tend to rationalize our meekness with this good guy persona/caricature. It is often held in place via thoughts of being special and emotional (vulnerable). The macho culture correctly teaches to master the masculine in order to spark the chemistry, but it confuses meekness of the good guy with genuine vulnerability. Please, for the sake of your future relationships, don't buy into that mindset. Vulnerability, not image, is what makes people connect. If you want a long-lasting, fulfilling relationship with a woman, you need to learn to be properly feminine as well. Leo has a video about that topic, but I can't seem to find it, so here's a different one if you're interested:

Osho's body may have been addicted prior to enlightenment, or his personality may have had tendencies to indulge in it. Unless he worked on changing that - nothing would change during any of his enlightenments.

@flowboy Don't get discouraged, it's not a guaranteed friendzone. Was vulnerability mutual?

Yes.

@Highest Just let it all out. It's going to settle down after a while.

I have no business in calling myself enlightened. Oh, I know that one! Attention.

(Regarding skipping pickup) The fact that everybody else replies to just skip pickup made me very self-conscious. Yesterday I was feeling especially childish for whatever reason. I'm getting deeper into the Cosmic Oracle and I can't get enough of this book. I opened it randomly and I got the hexagram 34 - 'The use of power'. Apparently, Chaos (a.k.a. Cosmic Order) does not work through power and this is an egoic concept that creates fate. Fate is the interplay between circumstances and personality that reinforces beliefs in a positive feedback loop akin to confirmation bias. I wrote about it in the quoted post. I'm on the fence with respect to sugar-coating of terms in the book. If authors used the terms that the collective ego identifies as threat, it would be more efficient in my opinion, but it would probably be more difficult to publish it. I also don't like how the collective ego seems to be demonized, but I think that it's a conscious choice that is supposed to bring equanimity to the Western world. This way, the book is dependent on Collective Ego's dominance for its survival, but I guess we have a very long way to go to make it obsolete. After all, we have the original I-Ching if we want neutrality. Thank you again @Zigzag Idiot! I really appreciate what you share on the forum. I'm too young and too proud to read so many books. Having insights of my own makes me want to go all the way by myself. Typical Enneagram type 6.

Law is not meant to be a mathematical system that expresses equality and justice. Think of it more like a history record of people that want their interest to be protected. It is based on consensus, not on efficiency. The main reason is just practicality. Cases like these are heartbreaking, but unavoidable for the time being. I suspect that it fell to a intersection of laws that do not mesh together too well. What can be done about it? The best we can do is to pay $14,500, unfortunately.