WaveInTheOcean

2CB-sex (20-25 mg each perhaps).

It's a useful distinction Ralston is making (the difference between being aware and being conscious). See, it's a distinction, made up by him. That's what it is. Use it for what its worth. "What's your understanding of that? If anyone has directly grasped what something is , for example a cup , how did it differ from being aware of it? " You can be aware of something, i.e. your visual field, a cup, your breathing, a sound w/e. This awareness is a subject-object-perception. You - as a conscious observer/self - are perceiving 'an object'. And then you can become conscious that this something (visual imagary, breathing-sensation, sound w/e) is your pure imagination as God. That's direct actuality. See, here is no subject-object-duality anymore, because whatever is happening (visual sight, breathing-sensation, sound, thought w/e) IS what is. It IS you. It is YOUR dream (imagination). There is no I, self or w/e that attaches itself to perceiving it. You have stopped creating the illusory self. You are God. And God dreams. You are dreaming. Wake up.

God isn't a being/creature. God isn't anything really (and therefore everything of course). You aren't a research node of consciousness. You are God. Notice how you are stuck in fantasy land. It doesn't nescessarily help to think of all the things that could be. Look at what is the case now. What's going on? Examine the present moment as it is, now. You are fucking God:>

considered trying ayahuasca. like in a ceremonial setting with a few people around you, guides and other participants

Is organic life simply the process of God moving towards re-unifying itself? Organic life is both the process of God splitting up and re-unifying. It's leela: play. Divine play https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lila_(Hinduism)

who was/is nothing? if you answer 'I was nothing' -- what do you mean by 'I' ? chillax bro, take a walk outside and smoke a cigarette theres nothing to be afraid of except yourself hehe <3

Whatever life (God/Your True Self) gives to you is a blessing, so yeah, of course this includes your partner. If your relationship had no issues, no triggering, no conflict at all, then it'd be boring and you wouldn't be able to grow at all. So there has to be some "issues", but of course within certain limits. https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/relationship-type-4-with-type-5 , good short read, although I suppose you probably already have read this What hinders you from having perfect clarity right now? Is it unconscious inner childhood trauma/'selfish ways of looking at life' that has yet to be transcended in the light and love of your consciousness? I sense you have a good sense of 'what you need to do', but also be careful of not *trying TOO hard*. It's good to be sincere (serious) and put in effort, but effort can also sometimes be a blockade. In a sense, the more you believe you *need* perfect clarity/equanimity, the more distorted you become. The more you *try* to see everything clearly, the more everything becomes distorted. The more you try "to deal with everything properly", the more you could reinforce the deep inner unconcious belief that you exist 'as a separate poor-little-self' that has to conquer and control 'the outside world'. Alan Watts referred to this as “the backwards law” which is “the idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place. The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel, regardless of how much money you actually make. The more desperately you want to be sexy and desired, the uglier you come to see yourself, regardless of your actual physical appearance. The more you desperately want to be happy and loved, the lonelier and more afraid you become, regardless of those who surround you.” The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience. You could try make an experiment with your partner, where you both agree that sex is totally off-the-table for 7 days straight. You can still kiss and hug of course, but no sex at all of any kind. Such a reset/re-boot could maybe help? During those 7 days both of you - especially you - could totally relax and let go of all the thoughts about sex (as it is not allowed) and instead focus on other things... of course knowing that sex soon will be in play again after the experiment is over. Dunno, just an idea.

depends. we are all different. could be important to you, could not be -- that's not important for you:>

If you wanna get serious about purging, you should try Ayahuasca. We have a retreat-group here on Femø in Denmark called "spiritofaya", they are amazing , https://spiritofaya.com/ see you there perhaps

thank you for sharing. it's always eye opening to hear how narrow-minded people can easily become due to traditions, even in recent times. i'm happy to be born in Denmark I guess lol

https://www.amazon.com/LSD-Mind-Universe-Diamonds-Heaven/dp/B0848SBF1M/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&qid=1598732355&refinements=p_27%3AChristopher+M.+Bache&s=books&sr=1-1&text=Christopher+M.+Bache Bache talks a good deal about reincarnation in his great book.

psychedelic mushrooms

Great post, thank you! <3

If you as a person ( ' I ' ) is an illusion, as you have found out, how does this change the way you will live your live, behave, etc?

Well, I agree, sex is important for deep emotional connection. Obviously, if you are a very sexual creature, an ideal partner would also have a high sex drive, right? "but I wonder if this is a productive purge (getting it all out and into the light to be transmuted) or if it's a sign of incompatibility." Couldn't it be both? I'd say, emotional pain could almost always be viewed as a kind of productive purge, if you are conscious about it. Many people fall in love, have a relationship for some time, where both -- or at least one -- grow as humans, and then they find out they are incompatible and break up. Then usually, if one of them had not grown much during the relationship, he/she will after the break-up. "Since I'm not completely enlightened" -- why aren't you? Be careful of believing your own narrative too much, ehe...:> What would it take for you to become completely enlightened? And who isn't enlightened? :> Being desperate for attention is pretty human I'd say. Nothing wrong about that, especially not when paired with consciousness/contemplation/inquiry as you do. Perhaps, the more rules you set up about "what is not enlightened" the further away you get from that you seek. Enlightenment isn't about behaving in a special way, or being nice, or being a good person. The road of enlightenment is a quest for honesty: unravling the mind and its ego-structures, accepting what is. https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions - which type on the enneagram is your core type? :>

"very long time", yeah sure. I've been through hell myself. I personally, egoistically doubt anyone can really awaken without going through hell first, but hey, maybe I'm wrong..., after all, there is no one here, ehe <3

inauthentic - authentic is a human dualistic notion. However, it's a pretty useful notion in terms of enlightenment/awakening. If you want to awaken to the truth of who you are, you have to have (in my selfish limited view) authenticity as one of your top priorities, otherwise you ain't gonna get that c00kie ;-) Look around in the world. How many people have authenticity/truth as a top priority? Almost none. People are biased as fuck and only sees things that fit into their world-view. Survival-programming makes sure of that.

no difference at all. What story do you want to believe in? I'd choose the story that maximizes your joy, happiness and outlook on your life. I do that myself, everything else seems rather silly. I could tell you there is direct experience/actuality behind it, but isn't that the case for all stories, all myths, including atheism? And what difference does it make to you if I say I'm following a belief system/3rd-part story or if there actually is actuality behind it? To you, it would still be hearsay in either case. Of course, to find out what is Absolutely True, you have to go beyond words, beyond beliefs. What is Absolutely True can't be explained with words, so of course I'm just having fun here, creating my own narrative, my own story. But of course there is actuality behind it. How could there not be? :> <3 All stories are stories. Everything that can be said with words is a story. The Absolute Truth of God/Nothingness/Love/Consciousness shows you that you are that itself: God, Nothing, Everything, Infinite Love/Consciousness. Thus you are in perfect control to create ANY story you want. No story is anymore true than any other story. Of course, some stories are more useful than other for particular things. Atheism/science is very bad at creating happiness, but is good at creating technology (which can help makes os happier in indirect ways). Religious stories are good at making us feel happy, but pretty bad at creating computers or medicine. Of course, the only story what will you make permanently infinitely happy is not a story, but the truth, which can't be put into words. It's right there in front of our eyes. God, Nothingness, Awareness whatever you wanna call the Absolute/Divine.

oh, i've had spiritual ermergencies. They seem bad on the outside, but are good on the inside. Takes consciousness to see it, which often comes with time.

everything is direct experience if you have never seen the color blue , and I tell you the sky is blue and beautiful, you can believe me "the sky is blue and beautiful", but you haven't directly experienced the sky, right? And you don't know what blue is. I can tell you much physical stuff about the blue colour, like how the eye and brain work works and the wavelength and frequency of the colour blue, etc, but that's not gonna make you see it, is it? What is gonna make you see it? You going out and watching it:D Now, you have directly experienced it. Now, can you trust your direct experience? Is there really a blue material sky out there you can go visit and touch? naaaah, we now know the blue sky is just an illusion because the molecules of the upper atmosphere scatter the blue frequencies the most, making an illusion of an apparant blue thing up there. But there is no sky, just blue light:> Why is the sky blue? Cos blue frequencies are scattered the most. But why is those frequencies perceived as the subjective experience of seeing blue? Well, that's God's programming, that's direct consciousness, that's how it is. That's infinity, mystery, right there. Anyway, the point is not to *trust* direct experience per se, but to understand that what really matters is direct experience, and not rumors/belief or hersay. How you interpret your direct experiences, what story you want to build out of them: well that's up to you.

Alan Watts understood it/this is all a game. There are infinite games you can play, but to be serious and say "I am not playing. Existence is fucking serious man, and here is my book on how to live" is basically to be as far away from God as you can be. Alan Watts said that even though it's a big game of God; you can still play it sincerely, just as you still play your favorite board game sincerly, even though you know it's just a game:-) Alan Watts will personally always be my favorite philosopher/spiritual guide. What his words has done to my life is indescribable.

Neil is right in the sense that consciousness isn't a thing that can be found or be explained. There is no consciousness to figure out. Consciousness is the very substance of existence. Consciousness is what is. Everything is consciousness. Have anyone ever experienced something that was not appearing in consciousness? No - lol. Neil is wrong in the way he *denies* consciousness, though. Oh it's fun. The Bill Nye guy is the most religious of them all, though. Listen to his religious view of how a copy of his brain would not contain his memories, basically contradicting himself, it's hilarious:

solid post, thank you check out enneagram

No creature lives eternally, so don't worry bout that. God's highest priority is maximizing Love, so of course he wouldn't let himself experience eternal hell without any salvation. Luckily, death is always the greatest of all salvations. The salvation of death(merging with himself/oneness) feels greater for God the more pain he endured beforehand, so there's always love-logic behind everything that happens. Everything that happens -- even though there can happen infinite things, cos yes, God is infinite -- is designed for maximizing Love. Now, what is Love? It's the basic substance of existence. Everything is in fact made out of Love. It's equal to consciousness. You can feel love in many ways of course. Now, if love is the basic substance of existence, if Love = God = Reality , why does God not just bathe in his own infinite pool of Love/Oneness forever? Well, I did, then I got tired of it, wanted some more spice, wanted to create a dangerous game, where it feels like I'm just a 'poor-little-me' stuck in a cruel world, forgetting myself, running around hoping to find answers, happiness, creating technology, creating things, imagination. All of existence is a trade-off for God between infinite imagination (play) and Oneness/Infinite Love. He wants both. He wants it to be dangerous and fucked up and messed up, only to feel even more Infinite Love when he finally goes back to himself and sees it was just his own game of pretending to be a human:D <3