Flowerfaeiry

What are you looking to heal? I don't recommend using psychedelics to heal trauma. However, there are professionals doing it and you can look into that if you choose. Be careful with the mindset of taking psychedelics to heal. They can actually cause more trauma or make the trauma increasingly difficult and challenging to deal with. You're better off looking into other types of therapy. Somatic Experiencing, talk therapy, EMDR etc.

I feel like just closing myself off to men... I understand that in a way, dating is working on myself but friends...its rough out there. Guys are either super shallow i.e. into sports(bleh), don't have the slightest idea of what spiritual worlds are or they play video games. I've come across guys who are traumatized by other women, creepy guys, guys who only talk about themselves... the list goes on. OR, they're way out of my league. Super successful, have their shit really together and are all in all much more mature than me. Fuck! It's such a pain. Sometimes trying to connect with men on dating sites is HARD and people can be so abrasive! Same IRL, too. I secretly just want a man to take care of me and hold me and love me but goddamn that's a whole other rabbit hole because I could see me getting lazy with my own development and just letting him take care of everything while I kinda just float on by in life... medium happy, not doing anything of much substance. I actually do want to just be alone for awhile but then I'm worried I a)won't find my soulmate and b)(this is actually the bigger concern)won't be getting any good experience with men, meeting new people, growing in a new way etc..

What makes you think finding a soulmate isn't survival?

@Actualizer777 an open relationship requires extreme amounts of communication and effort. Try it out, actually sleep with someone new, see how you two handle it and then go from there. It's not going to be the same as if you were single because you will always have that relationship hanging over your head and it will be less "free" and more of a constricted type of sleeping around. That's kind of the point, for it to be loose and not tied down.

Having sex with lots of girls is going to get you a lot of life experience and will help you grow in ways that being in the relationship will not. Ultimately you know deep down what is best for you. Listen more to your intuition. Get quiet and really tune in. Remember that things take time, you don't have to figure it out all at once.

Yes. God has, is and will experience all perspectives.

In short, men suck, women rule. Discussion over. Kidding I love men and appreciate all of you. xoxo

They're just noticing a phenomenon and putting words to it. Crude words yea but I think for a lot of men it can be helpful to consciously get into pua and red pill to eventually move through and past it. Not to get stuck there though.

In a way. And a lot of it is just an attempt to understand women. We tend to have the emotional upper hand and play our own games. Learning about how some men deal with that brings light to our own behavior lol. Pua and red pill aren't abuse. I mean it can get that way sure but it's not synonymous with it. Again, red pill and pua are not synonymous with toxicity(not saying I can't become that). It's a response to women's own emotional manipulation. That we often deny left and right hahahaha. I set boundaries around toxicity by being in the fullness of myself as an actualizing human and woman. Sometimes that looks like telling someone to shut up and sometimes that looks like letting them figure it out on their own.

Is that the vibe you're getting? I went out with a guy once who "playfully" mocked me but he really just didn't like me. Lol

Girl, guys who mock are the worrst and have a special way of making you feel like shit. That insecurity will just keep showing him the places he can mess with you.

Tbh, as a woman I've gotten a LOT out of learning about red pill and pua. I know a lot of women are turned off by those things and it makes sense, but I think there's much to be learned about men in those ideas. In terms of using crude language, it's a turn-off but just says more about the maturity of the individual and its easy to shake off. Men would need to have a change of heart of sorts to not curb what they're saying. I want men(and everyone) to express themselves wherever they are and come to conclusions themselves, not just because a woman may be turned off or feel unwelcome. Although that can be a starting point.

I really don't want you guys to curb what you say just so you come across as welcoming to other women, but your right, thats just me.

@Vagos Damn that sucks. I've been healing my brain from drug abuse many years ago. Do you feel depressed about it or just not much of anything at all? Going forward, you may not experience emotions in the same way you did before Zoloft, but your brain will most likely heal and create new and different pathways. It will be a process that takes some time though, so don't get discouraged too quickly. Be healthy, get fresh air, stay active. Don't smoke weed or do any other drugs. In terms of psychedelics, I don't know. If you're experienced maybe try with small amounts, but in several months? Either way, ease into it and go from there (this is all just advice from my perspective and experience). I'm not knowledgeable on supplements for the brain but there are a wide variety. Just be conscious and aware with that stuff. Even when it's "natural" it can be powerful.

Very poetic

Wow thank you so much, all really good things to think about.

Bro I'm the BEST housewife Also, it's deeper than that.

I knew it was a joke. I'm not intimidated by crude comments, just kinda makes someone seem careless plus, I know my power as woman.

It got harder with covid but yea even then, a lot of people don't know what they like and that's not a good match for me.

The last few guys I've chosen have been pretty masculine, I didn't even think about that. Progress haha.

Just to clarify--there are many different ways of doing "no poo" and that is one of the worst-- although most popular. I'm kinda possessive of this method because it's worked really well to heal my scalp and hair so had to defend my advice a bit lol. I just water wash and occasionally use shampoo to remove buildup that comes from life.

Do you live in a dry climate? Are you hydrated? Tbh some people just run more dry than others and there's not much you can do internally to change the body's natural constitution, sorry to say. But if you are a naturally dry person, foods that are higher in quality fat and staying hydrated can help. Don't be so opposed to topical solutions. Once you've done all you can internally, try shea butter, olive oil(made for skin) castor oil, these are all natural, single ingredient moisturizers that can actually improve skin's dryness and overall quality. Something else you might consider is doing "no-poo" which is the no shampoo method for your hair. It allows your hair to regulate back to its natural cleansing routine and will help with dry scalp as its oils are not being stripped (any shampoo, no matter how gentle, is stripping the scalp of its natural oils).

Oh, that was you! I still think about that lol. What do you mean by the controlling behavior?

No you're totally right. I find myself longing for a partner more in the times I'm feeling sad or worse about myself.

This is huge. And unsettling lol. I've always chose feminine men because I couldn't fathom receiving in that way.