Leo Gura

Sounds like you're describing Samadhi: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samadhi Which is basically a mild version of nondual consciousness / mystical experience. But you are only feeling the tip of the iceberg now. With more practice it will go much deeper. It can even go so deep that your body and the entire universe will disappear! It feels timeless because it is! Time is a concept created by the mind. When the mind is still for long enough, time will cease to exist. In fact, every moment, every experience you've ever had, has been, and currently is, timeless.

@Conceptually-made Given your age I would attribute this mostly to lack of experience. Socialization is a skill set. Being intimate with women is a skill set. You need many hours of practice to get good at it, especially if you're shy, awkward, under-socialized, autistic, or very introverted. Put yourself into a lot more social situations/relationships and practice being very authentic, vulnerable, and intimate. Not sexually, but conversationally, emotionally, etc. Do not confuse sex for intimacy. A little game you could play with yourself is to try to see how fast you can get real intimate with a total stranger. Like, walk up to a random person at a Starbucks and try to get intimate with them within 15 minutes of conversation. The trick is to do it without creeping them out. The first few times you try it you will come across weird and creepy. But through experience you will learn how to make it feel natural and positive for the both of you. Oh, and BTW, the whole trick to sleeping with women quickly is building intimacy quickly. You can do it within 1 hour of meeting her through lots of training. There are many tricks to speed this along, like being fully present, having very strong eye contact, speaking slowly, smiling, being warm and friendly, and touching her body frequently in a non-creepy manner. It's amazing when done right. But requires enormous practice unless you're "a natural." Which obviously you aren't otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation.

In the very moment of ego-death it is realized that your biological birth was just a story. It is realized that you are not a physical or a biological object, but an idea. This idea is eliminated, as though it never existed. Not only that, it becomes almost impossible to imagine how you ever thought you existed. Imagine life minus you. That's ego death. Everything stays the same. But you are missing! In other words, absolutely nothing changes! Just its always been, and how is right now! There is no you reading this sentence. The sense that there is a you reading this sentence is a fantasy. The end of this fantasy is ego-death. Ego-death is not an idea or a belief, it is state of consciousness. Accessing this state of consciousness requires intense concentration and stillness of the conceptualize mind. The conceptualizing mind is what is sustaining the fantasy of a you in the same way that a video game console sustains the appearance of Super Mario. If the console is unplugged, Mario disappears.

Yes, because self and other are identical in the end. See video: The Theme Of Things Going Full-Circle

As is every human being Since YOU are God, you'd be worshipping yourself. That is okay as long as you're aware that you are worshipping yourself. Then it becomes like a cosmic masturbation session. And since you are the only thing in existence, all action is ultimately masturbation. Loving only those parts of reality which serve you or make you feel good. Of course, like I said, ego (you) is incapable of true love. True love requires eliminating ego. This requires some serious spiritual practices like Kriya yoga or self-inquiry or psychedelics.

Best excuse EVAR!

@Giulio Bevilacqua Be careful, that might be the attraction of the devil, trying to distract you from the Greater Jihad. As a general rule of thumb: stop fucking around and get on with the Greater Jihad!

Since all is one and there is nothing but The Self, self-love is really the only kind of love. But this not the self you imagine you are. I am speaking of loving the entire universe unconditionally, especially all the evil stuff your self hates. That is true Self-Love. The ego is not capable of real love. It only knows pseudo-love. Ego only cares about gets it needs met. That is not real love. That is egotism.

Oh good God... not him again... It really takes effort to be that dense.

@Ninie The ego is not going to die quietly. Taking antidepressants will only make things worse. It's like you're pressing the gas pedal and then slamming the parking break. What you need to do is become conscious of what this depressed feeling is about. Why it is happening? Not on a personal or psychological level but in an existential level. Why do you suffer at all? What is suffering about? What is sadness? Why purpose does it serve? Why are you creating it? In this work you must suffer consiously, otherwise you aren't really learning anything, you are just acting out unconscious egoic patterns. You could do that for 50 years and not come out any wiser or awake.

Psychedelics have been used by all cultures for over 20,000 years for this purpose. So there is no disputing it. Not to mention the clinical studies. The distinction between objective and subjective does not exist. There is no such thing as subjective experience really. That is an illusion created by the ego. All "subjective experience" is actually Absolute Being if the ego is absent. Being is prior to proof. Truth is prior to proof. Proof is a concept, Truth is actuality.

@ingurix It's an ego defense mechanism. The ego is not just gonna let you meditate. The more you push yourself to meditate the more you will overcome this defense mechanism. It will get better. One trick that works well for me is to meditate right after taking a nap. Also, meditate with your eyes open. You could also switch to Kriya yoga instead of meditation. It's very hard to fall asleep doing Kriya yoga even if you are sleepy because it involves more activity.

@EternalForest Well, if you don't actually want to meditate every day then obviously you are getting exactly what you want. The question is, what do you want here? If you DO want to meditate every day but you are still struggling, that's a problem of self-discipline and integrity. You are making the commitment but then breaking your own word, which hurts your self esteem. Spirituality usually requires developing hardcore discipline because otherwise the ego is too tricky and will never allow itself to be significantly undermined. Maybe try some strong determination sits. Bordem and extreme suffering during meditation is par for the course. Some of the greatest suffering I've ever had was during my solo meditation retreats. You cannot even imagine how much bordem and suffering happens there. Imagine bordem so bad it is literally killing you. Meditation is not all rainbows and peace. Meditation is hell from the ego's POV.

Okay, then its been fixed. Thanks for your reports.

The ego is relentless. It's sort of like reeling in a giant fish. You reel it in a few feet, then it runs out a few feet of line. A long tug of war ensues. If the fish is big enough it might even break the line and escape. You must slowly wear it down and the deliver the final blow. Any course of spirituality or development can become pathological. But it is also possible to land the fish. You must become a good fisherman.

@Giulio Bevilacqua Most of Western philosophy is mental masturbation and will take you further into delusion. If you are already into spirituality and nonduality why waste your time with Western philosophy? Why not invest that time deepening your spiritual practice? Be careful not to do things just because other people are doing them. Be independent and don't do useless things with your life. Be highly selective with how you invest your time. Maybe spend your time studying something more practical.

Okay, try again now. It should be better.

@VictorB02 No, Dark Night Of The Soul is the ego's backlash & resistance to ego-death. It is the ego going through its final death throes. The ego can still bounce back with a vengeance and not complete the ego death.

Okay, thanks. That will help us track down the problem. And how long has this been happening for you guys? When did this first start for you?

It's hard to replicate this issue. Most of the time the site and forum load fine for me and others. But at the same time, for example on my mobile device, sometimes the site and forum fail to load. If you guys are still experiencing this problem could you please check the site and forum on multiples devices/connections and report back under what circumstances there are loading problems. Is this an intermittent thing? We're still trying to pin-point what the issue is. Please mention which device/OS/browser you're experiencing these issues under. For example I do not experience any issues on Windows Firefox or Windows Chrome. But I have been having issues on Android.

@Paul92 You cannot will your way to a state of no-mind. That requires decades of patient, serious practice. Now is the time to discipline yourself and start doing the practices. Re-calibrate your expectations. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

You're in for some serious mindfuckery

It's being looked into.

@Ethankahn The way you are speaking it strikes me that you have not directly experienced the Absolute deeply enough. Otherwise such questions and issues would not arise. Maybe you got a taste of it, but not the Full Monty. You need to go back and directly experience the Fully Monty. To say there is something beyond the Absolute is silly. The Absolute is Absolute and there is nothing beyond it because it is total. You are still holding Nothingness and Infinity as distinct things, which is a duality, which must be further collapsed, thus resolving this entire thread. What more is there to say if you are fully conscious of the Absolute? The Absolute is all there is. There is nothing but the Absolute.

@Andreas By that logic we shouldn't educate children, since they are not fully ready for change, and change is stressful.