My mom flustered when I asked her about my missing clothe.

[Sabth]

Why do you think a person would want to get rid of my precious belongings and my best things like clothes and other things? 

Why do you think they did this?

Stealing? Or is it black magic? Or I don't know. But why would someone get rid of my good things/clothes? Something which had a sentimental value to me and things that I could give to my child ? Why would they? 

They get rid of my academic certificate, books, and a few other things. Why do you think they did this? Are they jealous of me? Or they want make me weak? By getting rid of my things? Which are good. (Other stuff which aren't good are left. ) 

I don't really confront them about it. But today I asked my mom about my clothes and she get flustered. What's with everyone? 

[Sabth]

You know 

Sometimes, something hold a lot of energy. So a lot of my pieces are actually a part of me . It holds a lot of energy and memories. Things that I use in 2019. I keep it . Since 2012. 2013. I had a few clothes that are like that. That are still good because it is of a good quality. One is the jacket that I use since I was fourteen. Then I use it till I was seventeen and eighteen. Then I just keep it in my grandfather's house. But a few years ago, it started missing. I look for it but it can no longer be found. 

Then I had this dark wine/purple clothe. That I like and I use a lot back then. Then I no longer use it. Because I just stayed at home. But I keep it. It is in no way already in a bad condition. Because it is a good clothe. And hold a lot of memories. Probably I can't buy something like it anymore. Because it is from 2012. There's nothing like it anymore. But last year, it went missing. Why do you think they target my clothe? And the good one at that? 

This is not a normal clothes but something that I could inherited to my future child. Just like my diaries. 

Edited March 6 by Sabth

[meta_male]

On 6.3.2024 at 4:09 PM, Sabth said:

Why do you think they did this?

Low self esteem, jealousy, to make you feel bad, there could be many reasons.

[Sabth]

38 minutes ago, meta_male said:

Low self esteem, jealousy, to make you feel bad, there could be many reasons.

I don't think so tho. 

My bibles, my books, my academic certificate, my self portrait, my phone, my gold, my artworks, my diaries, and a whole lot of things I put in a suitcase. 

[Sabth]

It's been over a year now, what should I do? 

[Emerald]

On one hand, it seems like it's possible that your mom doesn't respect your boundaries or your things... or it could be some attempt to control.

On the other hand, I have a question just to get clarity on the situation. Do you have a tendency to hold onto things of sentimental value or perceived practical value that most people would get rid of? And do you have a strong attachment to things to the degree that you struggle to let go of anything and they clutter your space?

If not, the issue probably is because of some attempt to control on the part of your mom.

If the latter is the case, it could be that she's trying to help you let go of things that you struggle to let go of... but going about it in ways that are hurtful and counter-productive. 

Like if someone has issues with hoarding, the mind attaches a lot of meaning to objects (even things like paper towels, empty containers, miscellaneous knick knacks, etc.) to the degree where losing those objects can feel like losing a loved one. And this leads to hoarding everything and never wanting to let go of anything. 

And often times, family members will throw away or donate things that the person who hoards is attached to in an attempt to help them. And this creates a lot of grief and can make the hoarding worse.

So, my first thought is that your mom is trying to control you through these behaviors or is just being inconsiderate.

But my second thought (given that you still feel grief about it after quite some time) is that, if you have a tendency to hoard things or to assign a lot of meaning to objects, that she might be trying to help you break out of it in counter-productive ways. 

Though this is a shot in the dark. So take it with a grain of salt.

[Sabth]

54 minutes ago, Emerald said:

On one hand, it seems like it's possible that your mom doesn't respect your boundaries or your things... or it could be some attempt to control.

For your information it's not only my mom, there are other people in the house when this happened. So this could be not my mom. She had said that she didn't know or keep denying it. Or blame it on me. 

Quote

On the other hand, I have a question just to get clarity on the situation. Do you have a tendency to hold onto things of sentimental value or perceived practical value that most people would get rid of? And do you have a strong attachment to things to the degree that you struggle to let go of anything and they clutter your space?

I don't clutter things. It's not even a lot. I put something's in a three shelves and this was gotten rid of by my mom and she put my things in another three shelves, with a few things missing. Only the important things missing. Others are there. I'd rather had my things untouched. During the pandemic, no one was allowed to go to another's room. So my room had always been safe with my presence. I never get out or go away leaving the state. During the pandemic. I was basically just at home. No one can do anything as I was always at home. And they wouldn't dare either in my presence. I even thought of putting a lock into my room. But couldn't do so by myself. 

I have a sister whom I am not close to who are married at a young age, who had just came back to my country during the pandemic after having live outside with her husband, so they cam back and live with us. So there IS "new" people in the house. And siblings that I'm close to like my oldest sister and my youngest brother who was there during the whole time, (pandemic and pretty much everything else because we are not married yet and we grow together and she used to drive me to university together and we had a lot more experience together.) basically someone I trust or had grown up together way into adulthood and I think was quite religious too whom I think wouldnt dare to steal , Was Not Here. My two siblings aren't here. So they are out of the list. They wouldn't and didn't steal it. But my sister with her three children and her husband , my younger brother whom I am not so close with, my father and my mother, was there. And there are a few workers doing things like painting the walls and do the curtain. Other than that, there is no one else. My brother in law had the key to the house. 

Basically no one had been into my room throughout the pandemic. Everything was safe. But in 24th December 2022, when there was no one home except me and my father, there was a guest from different state coming to my house. And it was during the pandemic. And I don't like anyone coming to my house from far away. I don't like accepting guest back then during the pandemic. I don't travel. I don't go to shop . Or anything. And this person came to my state. I don't like him. So I want him to get out of my house. At this time there was only me and my father. I could listen to their every conversation in the living room from my room. And I got annoyed when I know he's from another state. I want him to go back. I want to him to go away. So I burn a towel in the kitchen and that's only it. With the intention that he will go away. I have no intention of burning the house and I know such a fire won't burn the house. But my father hold me down instead with him. I am totally disgusted. I don't wanna hold his hand for years since the pandemic. And he hold me down. Disgusting. I know it wasn't necessary. But he did it anyway. Like a hungry animal. I spit on their faces out of disgust. Then this guy's mom also came in. And they accused me of being possessed. Out of the whole thing I don't fight it. I'm afraid of hurting myself. So it was just them harassing me. Right now I feel like I want to kill my father. Let's just wait until he's old. And I'd do him justice. 

Quote

If not, the issue probably is because of some attempt to control on the part of your mom.

If the latter is the case, it could be that she's trying to help you let go of things that you struggle to let go of... but going about it in ways that are hurtful and counter-productive. 

No. 

Quote

Like if someone has issues with hoarding, the mind attaches a lot of meaning to objects (even things like paper towels, empty containers, miscellaneous knick knacks, etc.) to the degree where losing those objects can feel like losing a loved one. And this leads to hoarding everything and never wanting to let go of anything. 

I said I lost my artworks. These are expensive things like I have a few Large Files where I store all of my arts. I have fixated all my arts to make it last. It's not just a throwaway paper. You shitty thing. 

Quote

And often times, family members will throw away or donate things that the person who hoards is attached to in an attempt to help them. And this creates a lot of grief and can make the hoarding worse.

So, my first thought is that your mom is trying to control you through these behaviors or is just being inconsiderate.

But my second thought (given that you still feel grief about it after quite some time) is that, if you have a tendency to hoard things or to assign a lot of meaning to objects, that she might be trying to help you break out of it in counter-productive ways. 

Though this is a shot in the dark. So take it with a grain of salt.

 

 

 

 

*I will just mistreat him when he's old. Or better yet cut off contact with him altogether.

Edited March 7 by Sabth

[Sabth]

@Emerald do you hoard gold and silver? 

Edited March 7 by Sabth

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, Sabth said:

@Emerald do you hoard gold and silver? 

No, I don't own any gold or silver.

But I apologize if it came across as me judging or anything like that. I was just thinking of possible interpretations of why someone might throw away someone else's things. Like I said... take it with a grain of salt as I was just exploring possibilities and I don't know you or the situation personally.

It seems that there are some feelings of anger towards your dad though. And you may want to talk to someone about them to work them out. 

[meta_male]

15 hours ago, Sabth said:

It's been over a year now, what should I do? 

Wait another year and see if it happens again.

[Sabth]

20 hours ago, meta_male said:

Wait another year and see if it happens again.

I have nothings left of importance.

[Sabth]

It was things I was eight until 26. So I have to start over since I was 27? 

[meta_male]

Nobody here can tell you what's gonna work for you, you gotta make your own decisions. It would be best if you found a person you can trust, e.g. a therapist or life coach.