Laughing uncontrollably after jerking off

[Javfly33]

Lately everytime after jerking off i start to uncontrollabily laugh like a madman. 

I am going through a phase where there is 0 sexual repression in my Mind. Whatever kind of fantasy or scenario my mind starts to generate, i fap to It, no Matter how Taboo, weird or "abnormal" It maybe be.

Has anyone gone through a phase where sexual fantasies are about being hurt, beaten, hated by others?

What IS beyond that? What kind of karmic structures im touching? I Still dont know really what IS there. But It seems just at the point of cumming i can see It. Is like pure terror. Hatred. I dont even remember any of this. I dont remember being tortured in a gulag, but It does feel like that. The intensity of how dark the feeling feels.

I even consider the possibility im working on past generational trauma/karma that hasnt been solved by past generations. Who knows.

In anyway, It is daunting. Before i used to repress myself sexually and i would try to avoid seeing this by all kind of mechanisms, like nofap, or forcing myself to jerk off with normal fantasies. But nowdays im all in, no repression. But also no breaks, almost everyday im getting close to the fire, getting burned, to the limit. Everyday experiencing this "feeling" but i Still dont know what the hell is.

Thanks for reading and deeply appreciate insights that can help accelerate this process 🙏🩵

Edited March 1 by Javfly33

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 3/1/2024 at 1:24 PM, Javfly33 said:

sexual fantasies are about being hurt, beaten, hated by others?

About how badly are we talking?

[Emotionalmosquito]

I’ve been cursed with such a fantasy because some bitch threatened to do just that when I was trolling her back in jr high. Might not be quite as fun as I thought once I actually experience it. Some day I’ll order an escort and put it to the test.

For me i don’t think it has anything to do with past life experiences, but I could be wrong 

Im kind of in the same boat as you at the moment. Fully embracing all the weird stuff and putting nofap on hold until I regain the strength to get back on track. 

Ive laughed uncontrollably after fapping a few times but it’s not common. Lately I’ve been doing animal faps. Where right at the climax i make a different animal noise according to the day of the week. Sunday is dog day, Monday is monkey day, Tuesday is horse day, Wednesday is pig day, Thursday is turkey day, Friday is cow day and Saturday is caturday (cat day)  Pretty fun way to spice it up 

Not really sure about the deeper reasons why people have kinks. It’s not always due to some trauma so I think it’s a pretty complicated topic. More research is needed 

[Bazooka Jesus]

On 2.3.2024 at 1:09 AM, Javfly33 said:

I even consider the possibility im working on past generational trauma/karma that hasnt been solved by past generations. Who knows.

In anyway, It is daunting. Before i used to repress myself sexually and i would try to avoid seeing this by all kind of mechanisms, like nofap, or forcing myself to jerk off with normal fantasies. But nowdays im all in, no repression. But also no breaks, almost everyday im getting close to the fire, getting burned, to the limit. Everyday experiencing this "feeling" but i Still dont know what the hell is.

Nice. Welcome to shadow work.

Just make sure you don't strain yourself too much and stay grounded. Take breaks, go out, talk to other people, socialize, have fun. This work isn't supposed to be a 24/7 nonstop marathon run.

 

Edited March 10 by Bazooka Jesus

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

On 3/8/2024 at 8:22 AM, Emotionalmosquito said:

Thursday is turkey day

This is the most fucked up and simultaneously the funniest thing I've read all week LMAO

Respect for being so open.

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 3/14/2024 at 4:23 PM, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

This is the most fucked up and simultaneously the funniest thing I've read all week LMAO

Respect for actually having a functioning sense of humor, unlike the girls. They would not be very happy if I told them that irl