Questions about Love for Leo . I hope you help us with this .

[Past-Philosopher-562]

Hello to you Leo and guys

Look I know we have annoyed you so much with this constant questions but I really need this information . I hope you take more time to articulate for us the Answer . You said the answer for everything is love and how all we crave is to be loved because that is what consciousness is .

Now , Please take time to answer this questions :

1 . In the first videos you had , when you spoke about laziness , depression , perfectionistic tendencies , and let's add fear , comparison , and not feeling optimistic . Now how perfectionism along other traits have to do with not loving myself ?

2 - If someone wants to give himself love , how can he not fall to the trap of conflating the absolute with the relative . Like If I give myself love , then I would be content and satisfied with myself but I won't have the motivation to work and develop my physique . I know , whoever thinks this has conflated the absolute with the relative , so how can I love the self , and also do all the things I want to when all I know is how not loving myself was the only motivation ?

3 - I grow up rigid and very tight , not very loose and not into having fun much . I had instances when mocked , laughed at , misunderstood and memed , at home and at the street with people I knew . Like , bringing things I did to laugh and I have always remembered this and this made me anxious and avoidant and rigid in my life . Which also made it difficult for me to love people and even my family the way you describe . This rigid persona was trained to me by parents , through fear , and making me feel bad about how Introverted I was which was an indicator of inferiority and also some bad dark thing .  I had a mother who was impulsive and just pure aggressive , and in my childhood, I would say I was left and not loved much Because I was just made into a persona to her liking . She was too controlling the she needed to aggressively change her Environment when stressed and find fault at people and complain . Judgement and critique in the house which now make me judge myself badly . How can I love myself and love others the way you speak , when I had a harsh Environment  .

4 - What do you think about women's getting repulsed when their boyfriends and husbands express their emotions . This trend when happened to be shared . Have they shared it the wrong way or is the women have evolved not for such role to receive emotional expression which displays vulnerability .

I would really appreciate if you took time to read this Leo and answer us . Thank you in advance for everything .

[Hojo]

I think women who get repulsed by their husband showing emotion is just a reflection of their insecurities. They get scared when someone who is supposed to be stronger than them get scared and emotional as they are like children and need to be constantly reassured that everything is okay.

[woohoo123]

1. Perfectionistic tendencies tend to come from a place of not loving imperfection, not being able to see the beauty in things as it is. Things have to be a certain way for you to feel good about it. You can take joy in what you are producing even if it is not 'perfect'. When you see your sibling or a little child trying their best to produce something, you take joy in just watching them try. You can learn to appreciate yourself in the same way too. It's not perfect, but you are doing your best. Become your own cheerleader, but do it from compassion, patience and love rather than taking a brutal approach. Things like depression, pessimism and fear is usually the result of your own psychology. You are creating your own suffering and limitations mentally without you realizing/being aware of it. 

2. This is usually because you are used to motivating yourself through fear and pain. If I don't do this, then xyz will happen to me or someone will think I am xyz or I will get made fun of so I better get my ass in gear! At first, increasing self love can feel like lack of motivation, because you start to drop the things that didn't really matter to you. eg. if you only go to the gym so others can think well of you, that motivation can go away as you realize you don't need their attention or praise to feel good/proud about yourself. However as the love builds this becomes inspiration, this is when you start acting out of your abundance of love, things like life purpose, doing things that are actually meaningful and bring you real joy start coming into play. You become UNIQUE, you become YOU as you were always meant to be, rather than copying others trying to fit in. As you become YOU then you see the beauty in it and also the beauty in yourself you never knew was there. Your life becomes an expression of love. 

3. Be wary of making the harsh environment and your upbringing as an excuse for why you can't be something. You always grow, you always change and you have the power to be what you want. Choose to take ownership of that power, because its yours. You have the ability to choose what to be, even in the face of crisis or a bad past experiences. You choose that in every moment of your life. If you want to choose to be loving, you can choose to love yourself and others right now. You can just decide and start acting like that. See your past as an opportunity rather than a hinderance. By going through this you will have real wisdom and experience you can draw on which can heal yourself and others if (you choose to). Self-compassion and journaling might help you make peace with aspects of yourself you have been judging. You can literally imagine yourself at that time and choose to send yourself love right now. Comfort that part of you that was hurt. Look for those hurt aspects of you that you see in others and offer to help and understand them too. By loving others you are also loving yourself.

4. Don't worry about it. Don't be afraid to hold anything back when expressing emotions. Life is all about expressing emotions and expressing love to the max. Express all you want. If they don't like it then whatever, you literally got nothing to lose   At the end of the day, I don't see many people saying they regret expressing love and emotion. If anything, many people regret holding themselves back and not expressing their love enough (I am also working on the same). 

Btw this isn't a once and done thing. It's a life journey. I'm still working on all the things mentioned above and I will probably do so for the rest of my life. Have patience and trust yourself that it may not come quickly, but you will figure it all out 

Good luck brother and much love 

 

Edited February 9 by woohoo123