First time Bufo (5-meo) trip report + telepathy experience

[Bogdan]

I had tears in my eyes

I was finally about to go into the 5-meo experience, after all these years of preparing for it

I had a facilitator, I took a long toke, and by the end of that toke, I was already being overwhelmed, and time stopped making sense.

The facilitator closed my eyes and guided me to fall back on the pillows

I kinda was blasted almost instantly into that "holy shit, back here again" psychedelic state, where it's only me, and everything dissolved into this sort of Torus or Vortex type of shi and there I was sort of

But this stuff is really hard to remember, and right at the beginning there was this process of relaxing my body so much that I never EVER felt that type of relaxation, and the trip kinda was saying that I have to let go of ALL of it, right now. And my ego was kinda, right now? I mean I know I was preparing for years basically to have this mindset of saying YES in the face of this letting go moment of death on 5-meo, and I knew that I couldn't REALLY prepare for it, although I guess i also did, 

Because I said yes to it

And the memory is weird here, because I kinda remember that deep relaxation which was this deep nothing, I guess, then all of a sudden it cuts to this weird memory of me being this Alex Grey art sort of vortex

But in between the nothing and the vortex thing, there was a moment where I freaked out, because I remember that before saying YES to the trip, it felt like I was heading STRAIGHT to having the most crazy intense crying breakdown that I've ever fucking had,

and before I knew it, I found myself saying yes, and I thought the other people in the room stopped existing, and I started saying "of course!" n shit out loud, and i tried to share insights and I opened my eyes, and the facilitators were like calmly showing me to relax

And so I remembered that oh yeah, I have to be serious and focus right now!

So that's what I tried, to sit back and reaallly leave my body alone, and to not let anything un-relax me, and to stay as focused on the experience as possible

And so there I was, enjoying this psychedelic vortex space for a while

And I kiiiinda remember KNOWING how I will end this "trip", and yeah, at the exact moment of "forgetting", I remember clearly knowing and seeing the metaphysical direct mechanism through which I'll forget

And at some point, poof, yes - I instantly forgot how It's like to be in that "god mode"

And from there reality was slowly rebuilding itself, my God Self moulding my Bogdan relative existence with it's Absolute clay  

Overall, the trip felt really short, but the peak I later was surprised to find out, lasted about 15 minutes, AND I layed there for a total of one hour

So probably was a moderate dose, not too high, not too low

 

Now

 

There is a whole other layer to this trip

Because I took it at an Ayahuasca retreat with about 15 other people, and I took Bufo with 3 other people, who took Ayahuasca for several nights in a row

And there was this lady there, I was the 3rd to take it and she was the 4th

And she had a hell trip

And I SAW HER in my trip, while the god vortex was happening, how she had only bad experiences with men, and how her diet and everything affects her, and how she couldn't accept herself as lovable, and 

Idk how to explain this, I'll just say directly how i remember it:

From being in a sort of god mode, plus all the things I've learned about pickup, masculinity, metaphysics, etc. I could be there for her to love her infinitely.

And I loved her, like, in every way possible, as seeing her as myself, as my mind

This was after I "freaked out" and after I started concentrating. I started seeing myself as the most masculine being possible, and her not believing that I choose her and love her infinitely. And every time I was choosing to say a complete YES to her, she started screaming and moaning irl, as if having an orgasm in direct response to my being able to remain conscious, loving, masculine and unreactive.

And the more I loved her, the more she kept not believing that I can love her infinitely, and she started screaming not in an orgasm way, but in a trying to scare me way, and I still saw her as my infinite Mind, so I could not be scared, I saw her exactly as scary as my own infant daughter would be, throwing a tantrum

And that's another thing about those 2 Ayahuasca nights and this Bufo one in between that I had - the trips had this theme of preparing me to be a parent

So yeah, the trip continued a lot actually, as i said,  i layed there for an hour, because SHE screamed for an hour!!

While this was happening, we were having a conversation "inside" - and she was asking stuff like what if I show you THIS about myself? And i would be like OF COURSE I STILL LOVE YOU!! And she would be like, oh yeaH? And what if I puke and shit on you? And I was like there is nothing you can do to make me not love you, and it also really had this strong sexual theme, like there is nothing you can do to make me not wanna fuck you right now, like being infinitely horny, infinitely loving and caring etc.

 

I explained all this, because in the last night of the retreat, she told everyone what she saw in her Ayahuasca and Bufo trips, which were connected. And she described being in a vortex-machine made out of death and putrefaction, and seeing that she is capable of "evil" etc. and that at some point she had a conversation with God, and she couldn't believe that God loved her infinitely, and that at some point she asked God "even if I puke and shit on you, would you still love me then?" - she was describing exactly what I saw

 

So yeah, pretty interesting trip and telepathic experience

 

During the trip I also saw how me and her were made for each other, and that this is it we finally found each other and we'll spend the rest of our lives together. Soulmates exist, and this is my soulmate, and that after the trip I'll be a completely changed human etc. etc.

This is a parallel to my previous non-breakthrough NN-DMT trip, where during the comedown I was still so conscious that had I remained at that level, I saw that survival would be a joke, as I would breeze through every challenge that's of this world. But I remained in shock when I saw just how MUCH lower my "regular" human state of Consciousness is, compared to that.

 

Conclusion:

 

The CONTENT of the trip - in that SOC, God doesn't care about the human dream. It just gives itself a type of orgasm, and the content of the orgasm isn't really "important" or "relevant", as these terms are based in survival. We don't trip for survival, and it's probably best to keep these 2 separate, and to kinda just forget about the content of the trip when you come down from it.

Now, I know that I just had ONE 5-meo trip  And I fully expect my mind to change drastically as I continue tripping. I've seen plenty of examples of relative minds gaining the ability tap into psychedelic state changes 24/7. From what I understand Leo has this ability as well

 

Also, the retreat context is unique, but probably not ideal. The medicine is overpriced and the energies of others... idk. I think it's good to have someone there to make sure you don't accidentally kill yourself with puke, or by falling or stuff, but yeah. I wanna try 5-meo plugged and alone at my cabin, where I can scream if I need to.

 

Aftermath:

 

It's been about 20 days from the trip, and it's weird, smoking weed has become extremely pleasurable, and I am just so in love with it and the connection I feel. I try to keep that connection when I'm not smoking, but I just feel like I keep forgetting.

But I had periods like this before, so I know I'll get out of this and turn it into something very positive

I feel like I should take better care of this human heart that I have, even though it's super hard, because my heart needs me to prioritize eating a strict carnivore diet, and it requires me a very specific personal amount of things like how often I can watch porn and smoke weed and not do cardio etc. so that I can still have normal dopamine and motivation and testosterone

I keep finding that life is kinda begging me to be super strict and non-hedonistic, and I guess my responsibility is to nurture that concentration power to respect that idk, monk mode to this game. And at the same time it feels like life is begging me to keep myself open-minded, which often puts all these things in a contradiction.

I'm still immature and I have to become a lot stronger, through pickup and business and a ton of experiences

Anyway, that's all from me for now. Thanks for reading!

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, Bogdan said:

I've seen plenty of examples of relative minds gaining the ability tap into psychedelic state changes 24/7. From what I understand Leo has this ability as well

No, I don't have that ability.

[Bogdan]

@Leo Gura Thanks for clarifying.