Everything is perfectly reasonable, including your response to it.

[jdc7733]

I’ve also considered every thing is responsive, and responsible, it may be a better conclusion to come to and less confusing than, you are god and everything is you. Obviously, things are not what they seem, but, is it better or worse to, believe you are god because someone said it? Okay, there is probably more to it than that, like, psychedelic experiences. How would you know you’ve experienced infinity? How would know you are god? Am I going back to keeping things simple? I don’t know if keeping things simple will help or harm me, but, it’s probably going to be better than believing in things that I don’t have enough understanding of. My thoughts affect things, or, they seem to, I don’t know how, or, if there even is how, but, life can up its game, and, find ways of defeating me, no matter what I do. I don’t know if it’s better to accept defeat but what is someone supposed to do when they have minimal logic, and, they somehow thought they could work out “the answers” and now they don’t?

[ladyneptune]

Nothing is real, perception is all a distorted mix of false memories, fears and hopes, no one has the monopoly on or access to the ultimate 'truth'.

The only thing to do is be kind and breathe deeply and focus on the here and now.  We will never work out the answers. 

[Keryo Koffa]

The idea of being god has deeper roots. You are not aware how you're conscious, one can experience that. Chasing oneself through layers of unconsciousness, you realize there are no borders, everything is projection, consciousness is fundamental, your identity an arbitrary configuration. Everything is only ever inside consciousness, but we are only aware of a subset, of this human life.

Even in materialism, where consciousness is considered an emergent property of the brain, all of known existence is internal, you're just a brain, what you see is all intrrnally constructed, you're a black void, a singularity that filters fields of energy and creates qualia. But there are no colors, no sounds, no people, no qualia, it's all a projection of a physical primordial neural circuit based of electrical inputs. It develops for years through endless interactions of trillions of hypercomplex neurons before its coherent. What you see right now out of your eyes is literally imagination, all of it. You're a configuration responsding to another, or really just another part of yourself, because identity is variable, and you are consciousness. And that's just limited materialism for you, there's more beyond.

Your simplicity and reluctance to accept weird notions of faith are a good sign of critical thinking. Don't be defeated though, it serves no purpose. You should be happy and do everything to make your life better. Life is complicated but it doesn't have to be. We try to understand reality in reverse, that's where our confusion comes from. Fear too and ego, attachment, anxiety etc.. It's just that there are many beliefs inside of you that you don't question, because you're not aware of them, it's good to be critical but one has to include everything and to do that, one has to become aware of that or awaken to it (awakening). Don't dwell on your confusion for too long, look at the specific thing you're stuck at and imagine how you would confirm it, but really, if it doesn't make sense, it's because you skipped over some steps or brought in wrong assumptions. Actualized.org and spirituality in general are about deconstructing the self and there is much to deconstruct.

[jdc7733]

@Keryo Koffa I’m not going to pretend I have enough understanding of what god is, to claim it’s not what everything is, it’s more, I want an explanation, but, I’m still not sure I’ll have the right understanding. Could you explain, in, not plain English, but, not cryptic English, what is going on, to the extent you can?

I’m not going to entertain scientific beliefs, since I’ve deconstructed them, not that I’m smart enough to verify I’m correct, but, that’s it.

I’m only just reconstructing the ego, in the sense, I’ve gone through, many, psychotic episodes, I’m not going to go back to that. It’s not all about feeling good, it’s not all about logic, it’s not all about morals, but, it’s about all three, although, I think I’m missing pieces of the puzzle, not just some, but, the whole puzzle, pretty much. Idk where I’m going with this, I want questions, rather than answers though. Is there any you can share?

[Breakingthewall]

I see reality as an evolutionary push. It seems that reality cannot avoid this, absolutely everything moves in one direction, every particle of existence tends towards something. It is difficult, perhaps impossible, to have a complete vision of what reality is. living existence in motion. If I had to bet, I would say that reality is a natural and inevitable phenomenon caused by the absence of limits that gives rise to living infinity. the unfathomable mystery that this moment is. God is the unlimited intelligence that is all reality, and this intelligence cannot help but create. Nothing can be static, and when it has to move, it moves upward, and then it will reach a point where it will return to the base, and so on forever because it cannot do anything else.

I once had the realization on psychedelics of being existence and being trapped in the fact of existing with no possibility of escape, ever. and it was something so horrible that it escapes all description. but at some point you realize that this is not the case, since there are no limits, you are totally free.

Edited January 2 by Breakingthewall