Becoming A Hero

[Revolutionary Think]

Hi Everyone,

This community seems like a great place for me to unleash my full potential so with that being said I'd like to open up to everyone and I have nothing to hide either. So growing up in a place like Beverly Hills in a high rise seemed like a good enough kind of life for me when my parents were married. Young doing my homework and playing video games with out a care in the world. UNTIL one day my parents got a divorced and that's when all the pain and suffering started. My parents were fighting a civil war 2 factions (families) that hated each other basically and I was unfortunately in the middle of the war that I never signed up for. To make matters worse middle school was a complete hell hole the students were OK but, the school was extremely boring and felt like a prison. Some of the teachers there were also a bunch of slave driving fascist. There was a point though in 8th grade where we had a community and we brought up things that would bother us and what we'd want to talk about. I talked about my frustration with the school how boring it was and how uninspiring the teachers were and I had my fellow classmates clap and cheer me on. It was at that point even though I was shy, reserved and kept to myself I knew though that I had a passion for public speaking. 

If there is one thing I'm not scared of it's giving my opinion and letting my feelings be known. So as time passed by in my life I knew that something was fishy about older people. The world is such a big, amazing, fascinating, and interesting place yet older people are stuck. Their lives seemed so boring and meaningless. Also they told me that I would look back on my life and enjoy when I was younger. Nothing could be further from the truth being young was a prison sentence I was basically at the mercy of societies stupidity. Any stupid idea, law, or practice that older people came up with younger people had to be the victim whether they liked it or not (e.g our stupid education system, and our divorce laws). To this day I think the education system is a government enforced scam. I was always wondering why we never learn about really important things that's going to help us when we get older but, instead we learn about stupid shit that we can use on a TV game show. Then when you tell the "older" people in your life why they're wasting your life on stupid shit like what happened in medieval Europe they tell you that you need that information. The worst part of it is that your parents aren't even on your side they believe the system even tough the same exact system has made them miserable they believe that it'll work for you. 

The system all went to crap for my generation during the 08 financial crisis/meltdown. For me I wanted to be out of the soul sucking education system as fast as possible but, unfortunately during Community College is when the crisis happened so no matter how much I worked with the career center to find a job all that time and effort I put into it didn't work. I also realized that the stupid system I'm in is working against me rather then with me. Growing up it always felt like I was living in a bizzaro world. The people you trust to help you in life and guide you like your family and your education system are the same exact institutions that are sabotaging your life and making you feel miserable. The only solace I got from all of this was video games where I can escape to another world and not have to care about the stupidity and ignorance of this one. 

I would escape to video games because I couldn't trust people they just didn't get "it". Now with actualized.org and Leo I think I've found you people who get "it". So basically after I graduated University with a Degree in Communication Studies I worked for my uncle in a factory where I was basically doing customer service. At first the job was interesting and later it sort of bored me to death and I felt like a robot. I knew I had passion for changing things in the world but, I never really knew how I could let it out there. No strategy guide or help from people. 

Now what would make me happy is video games that made me feel like a hero. Especially video games where I took down a dictator that was oppressing the people. Right now though I think that the education system is oppressing young people and destroying their dreams like it did with me. So that's why I decided to dedicate most of my time to creating a blog and a YouTube page that shines light on this subject. I successfully made it on a podcast talking about this problem and even opened up a petition to do something about it. https://www.change.org/p/betsy-devos-bring-mentors-to-high-schools-to-help-students Sometimes I have these fantastic amazing ideas jumping into my head but, don't know what to do with them and have no one to share them with. I'm really glad I found this community and I look forward to getting to know all of you and unleashing our full potential. 

[Revolutionary Think]

Day 1:

Well technically not Day 1 but, I'd just thought I'd call it that so I can label the other journal entries and not go back up and edit the first one. Anyway I don't know about you guys but, I think most people go through their lives like zombies/robots and my friends and family are no exception. Except the very closest friend that I have. I'm trying to break out of that kind of lifestyle but, I find it very hard to speak with people who are on the same intellectual and spiritual frequency that I am on. 

Me and my friend made a video though. Basically what I normally do for my videos is I sit in front of my desktop and start filming from my webcam and I edit from there. The video quality is usually not that great but, thank goodness I got a lapel mike and started recording from that so the sound quality is much much better. I always wanted to give fiery passionate speeches though but, never really knew how to convert that into a YouTube video while I was sitting down. In that case I had an idea. I told my friend to record me with the iPad while I was on the couch so that's what we did. At first it was annoying to form all these amazing thoughts in my mind into a video I could make standing up on the couch. I made a lot of mistakes and got especially frustrated when I lost my train of thought in the middle of my filming. Eventually I managed to get it all out. The problem is though that people's attention spans these days are short and they don't have the time to look at something long and something that has an overarching message. That's why I spent time finding interesting photo's, sound effects, and background music to put in the video. Along the way I finally learned how to use better editing software and just went for it. The editing of the video was torture but, after a day and a half I finally managed to edit the whole thing and put it together. I know that this may not be the best thing in the world but, I'm glad that instead of sitting down and just thinking about the amazing video I wanted to make and not actually doing it. I can actual do a slightly amazing video in real life instead of just sitting down and thinking of all these wonderful ideas only to have them stuck in my head and not get into the public eye. So with out further ado here is the video I made. 

 

[Revolutionary Think]

Day 2:

I put something in the Self-Actualization channel that I should've really put in this journal but, I'm hoping people see it there and know my story. The more people who know about my story the better. So anyway Leo has tons and tons of videos that are so long sometimes too long and I find myself so interested in the things he has to say but, a sense of dissatisfaction when the video is over because I don't know how to make the words into action that can actually do something for my life and the worksheets seem boring though I have looked into them and done some. I think the best thing I did was actually do a meditation where I sat down and tried to concentrate on an image. I did it for 20 minutes and it was alright but, I really didn't feel a thing just bored really and I tried to stop thinking and concentrate the best I could although that seems impossible because when you think in your brain "not to think" you're still thinking about not thinking so how is that supposed to work?? 

In other news my petition got 13 votes and needs 87 more. This is the way I'm trying to become a hero. This nasty and sinister education system isn't working for young people these days and I feel it's actually working against them. Getting mentors into schools will be a huge step in the right direction. It's funny how everything is forced upon you at a young age and yet they call this place a free country. I'm going to try my best in the coming months to kick my YouTube channel and blog into high gear figure out more ways to get more people interested and join my cause. I hope to find many like minded people on this forum in the days and weeks ahead as well as getting to know Leo I'm glad he pops in an out here once in a while. 

[Revolutionary Think]

Day 3:

Yesterday was quite the emotional roller coaster it started by going up I did a focus group on cars and got a check for a good amount of money. Then I'm so nervous about if I won the video boot camp I was in so I could get a mentor ship with the creators of the program. I told myself if I can finally get that mentor ship I have success in life in the bag and I can finally get my amazing and inspiring content out to the masses. So I come home from the focus group to see that the minute I get on the group discord chat one of the admins is congratulating me that I was one of the winners. I am so happy for my life I finally have a chance to work with professionals. Then other people come out of the woodwork and congratulate me on winning. 

Then what sucks is that the only reason they thought I won because I didn't is because the winners of the program are in green but, if you search for someone on the spreadsheet their name turns up in green (go figure). So it turns out that I actually didn't win so I was really disappointed. The unfair part about it was the way the bootcamp was set up was that some people worked alone and some in teams the people who worked individually with a score of 23 or higher for their video ended up the winners. Unfortunately for me my video got a score of 23 the exact number I needed to win if I were working individually but, unfortunately I was in a team where people ended up with sub-par scores. The team that won the highest score was a 22 but, the average of their team was higher than the averages of all the other teams. The thing I hate the most in life is when what other people do effect you and this is a fine example mind you the people weren't doing anything bad but, their level of work was way below my level of work. In this Universe though sometimes it's the ugly truth like when a mother has AIDS the offspring gets AIDS or if the mother decides to smoke and drink while pregnant the baby that's going to be born ends up suffering for it. I dislike that fact about life so much but, I have to find a way to accept it and for it not to bother me. The silver lining in all this is that they still haven't seen the last video and will be handpicking more people to individually mentor so I can just cross my fingers for now. The other thing is there is a chance I may not get picked but, I'm not going to let that hold me back I will do my best to find a way to make my name known on the internet and spread my message. 

In other news I'm taking a trip down memory lane and reading from a Journal that I wrote in 10th grade. I feel comfortable sharing the memories here. One of the most inspiring things I wrote down is this. "I have a power like electricity but, how to harness the power is difficult to find out. The power can go against me, be neutral, or really help me. THE POWER OF PUBLIC SPEAKING! Like the power of electricity when you put it in water it has a negative deadly effect, when it's used on wood it doesn't do anything a neutral effect, and when it's harnessed with technology and light bulbs it has a very good positive effect that as of now it benefits the world. That's the same correlation/parallel that I want my public speaking talent to have." So anyway the overall gist is that the negative effect is speakers who use their skill to pump up people's ego and make them feel that they are superior to others and their country deserves to rule the world, the neutral effect is speakers who speak but, don't exactly inspire people, and the positive effect is speakers who inspire people to be better people and make more of their lives. I have the talent to do that but, don't know where exactly to go. I tried toastmasters I did well although it doesn't really feel like it's making a difference so that's why I did YouTube. Anyway looking forward to share more of my thoughts, and ideas on here in addition to meeting like minded people. Oh and I did 20 minutes of meditation Today with a metronome don't really know how it helps you but, I guess Leo said you see the results later. 

[Revolutionary Think]

Day 4:

To some extent I'm bothered that I look at so many of these videos from Actualized.org and after that I really don't know what actions I should be taking to make the dream I envisioned for myself a reality. The good news is though that it's not all just video watching and no action I've started a meditation habit. Now I'm kinda bored when I meditate but, I just view it as an interesting time where doing nothing is the best thing you can do for yourself. I always enjoyed aviation so whenever I hear a plane or helicopter in the sky I just wish I could be there. In fact I've always fantasized about living in the sky or being a part of the sky. Living on the ground seems so bounded but, being part of the air and the sky seems so carefree and free in general.

I have this symptom where I think about all the terrible things that happened to me in the past and think that the world owes me compensation for it. When I think back to how I should've had better parents and how I shouldn't have lived with my grandparents. How much my middle school was a dump and the teachers were fascist and how I didn't deserve that. How I didn't deserve to have such a bad experience in the job market and how most of the jerks never got back in touch with me to hire me. Then I at least think thank goodness I graduated with no debt and I had the chance to travel internationally. In fact after I got the chance to travel I thought to myself that's kinda like compensation for all the crap I had to go through in my past. It's still not satisfying though my mind keeps going back to those episodes where I felt betrayed by my parents and society at large and then I go on these rants in my head about how much society sucks and how I deserved so much better because I didn't break any rules and yet this big fat stupid asshole of a world treated me the way it did. I guess that's where meditation comes in so hopefully I can get rid of that part of me that just yearns for an explanation of the way I felt in my past. The best thing though about looking back at my past is that I'm happy I don't live in it anymore. I'll never be the person to look back and yearn for my childhood.

It's funny how Leo talked about the earlier the midlife crisis the better. I've had an early life crisis in 5th grade when my parents divorced and I had to live with my grandparents and told myself life shouldn't be this way. I had another crisis in University where I lived with my dad and my dad told me to go live with my mom. I honestly hate it that I have to go through so much bullshit to become successful when I think to myself all the resources the country I live in has. How much money is spent on the "system" how many millions of dollars go to things like the military, the education system, and other programs etc. but, if I just had a tiny fraction of that money I'd know what do to with it and make an extraordinary life for myself and others. I have this amazing message and this amazing passion to get it out there and I'm more than willing to put the hard work into it. The problem is that the is no guide/blueprint on how to do it. That's the worst part of all. That's what would bother me so much about older people and why I'd think that these ignorant stupid morons are all full of shit. 

Your entire life with this stupid system that you are in that from the beginning you're told what you can do and what you can't do. In school everything is lined up for you and put together for you and all you have to do is follow orders and if you don't follow orders you suffer the consequences. Everything is done by threat and by force like if you don't do your homework and get good grades you'll be held back in school, go to detention, or the principals office etc. After you follow all the rules all these stupid brainless idiots give you is a piece of paper and coax you to go to college. Even after you're done with College you just get a piece of paper. Then after that there is no more detention, no my principals office either. If you mess up you end up penniless and on welfare but, now there is a caveat you're just expected to know what to do with out any guidance, help, or anybody who's going to make you do something. In addition to that the job market is a gamble that you've never exactly been prepared for. Then after that it's funny how many older people I talk to and how stupid they are that this goes way over their heads. A lot of people tend to agree with what I say and support the things I want to do. The problem is that I don't know how to get people and mobilize them to really do something about this disgusting travesty. The best I ever get is a bunch of people who agree with me then make me feel good in the moment but, in the end it doesn't mean shit. I could just imagine now a child who is in elementary school exactly the way I was putting his faith in this stupid evil system doing his best in school and then when he's done he's just going to get a dumb piece of paper while the rest of the world is just waiting to eat him or her alive because the idiot school didn't prepare them for life just a bunch of random trivia. The parents and the community at large are just as stupid, ignorant, and brain dead. The just repeat the same exact shit like parrots "get an education get an education". While this child can have some really good intrinsic talents and passions that's going to waste in a shit community, ignorant parents, and a stupid excuse for an education system. Those kids are the ones I want to be a hero to. 

This is why all the stuff that Leo says isn't counter intuitive for me. Mainstream society to me was a plague. Really ignorant people running around like ants with no purpose or passion in life. The system at large beat it out of them and replaced it with a disgusting, corrosive, and idiotic pop culture. The ignorant stupid people sometimes ironically are the antithesis of what you learn to be in school yet, they are the ones making all the money. I guess that's why there are so many few people like me throughout history that changed the direction of humanity and the world for the better. The majority of people didn't do anything and there is a slightly larger minority that did the opposite and made humanities time on the world worse. I just hope in the coming months and weeks I muster up the will power to take action to fulfill this idea to give hope to all the people out there who want to do something more with their lives and change the world. I know I have the potential I just have to find a way. I will find a way eventually it's just a matter of time and being persistent. 

[Revolutionary Think]

Day 5:

I just had two profoundly different experiences with the University I used to attend. The first experience was with a program called career connect. Woke up early no traffic heading to the Valley and finding parking easily then being driven to the place we were going to have the orientation. My favorite part of the whole thing wasn't exactly the orientation but, it was the ride there. Being in the shuttle going down the freeway and while others were talking to people I mostly sat there silent staring out the window and looking up at the clouds. It reminded me of simpler times when my parents would drive me places and I'd sit in the car just not saying anything and just staring out the window. Those were some of the fondest memories I'd had of my youth. The best of the best was looking out a planes window and just admiring a birds eye view. So as I sat there we arrived at our destination got to say hi to all the people working there and got to know the inner workings of the cruise line they worked for. I also had a really friendly chat with a person who worked there and we kind of got to know each other. I had no problem speaking and socializing. I shared with him stories about my travels and it related to the industry to since it was cruise ships and that's about hospitality. Then on the shuttle ride back I felt the same way just looking out the window and enjoying that view. 

Today on the other hand the experience wasn't exactly that great. I went to an alumni reunion and actually the first person I talked to was a really nice lady who I had a class with and I enjoyed that class because I got to express myself. The problem was though is that I dislike these socially awkward situations. That's how the whole thing felt like though one big socially awkward situation. In situations like that I kind of retreat into my own thoughts especially when there are people there that I hardly know. It had some good moments but, not exactly that many. I had expectations for the event but, all and all I came out of it disappointed. It was a story of other people although I wanted people to know my story and my story was that I didn't exactly have a kinship with academia or my University to begin with. So many people feel as though they have some kind of relationship with the place they graduated from. As for me I just felt kind of a sense of nothingness. I wasn't raised in the typical growing up way I just wanted to get out of anything that had to do with school ASAP and find some work. Unfortunately for me my upbringing didn't make me the most social person or the most successful because of how turbulent it was. This experience really fell flat because I figured I went through this horrendous traffic to get there, paid for the parking, and looked forward to it. At last when I finally got there just to feel socially awkward and weird in front of people who I kind of barely knew. 

I think to myself sometimes that I was so responsible as a young person. I may have not had the best social skills, I didn't exactly make that many friend, and I may have not gone the extra mile that many times in my life ON THE OTHER HAND I was responsible. I did what I was told when I was younger. I finished my assignments, I came early and on time to classes, I got my work finished on time and sometimes even ahead of schedule. I was also well behaved and didn't start any trouble. That's why I have such a personal struggle and a very deep vomit inducing disgust with the adult world or as some people like to call it the "real" world. This world consists of things called jobs and this is when it gets real ugly. Most of these "jobs" that you will be accepted in when you're old enough to have one will be things that don't feed your passion and make you feel like an automaton. The other thing is nothing is more subjective than "getting a job" you're just a piece of paper either an "application" a "resume" or a "resume with a cover letter". I think it's so impersonal and dehumanizing. No where on those papers does it show your personality, the struggles you went through, the kind of life you had, and the passion and potential you poses. Nope your life is reduced to a piece of paper that is no longer than a page. The human element is completely missing from the equation as well when all the jobs need to be applied to online and you can't just walk in and talk to someone.

Anyway I used to write stuff like this in a private journal. I think though that hopefully the majority of people on this website are cognitively complex enough to appreciate my musing and philosophies on life. Although I on the other hand need to understand one thing and it was actually good that I took that UCLA trail for the Peers program about making friends. I remember when I told the counselor that I had a long winded conversation with someone about philosophy and life but, then she told me that gets boring and it's unsustainable. She told me that friends are made by talking about common interests and my interests are video games, science, technology, chemistry, politics, geography, and travelling. That's a good piece of advice when I go too far down the rabbit hole with these philosophical excursions with others and in my writing. I'm more than happy for the entire world to be exposed to my writings and philosophies and to contemplate them once in a while. I think that's what the world needs more of what do you think @Anna Konstantaki?

[Anna Konstantaki]

Should I like what you say-I will support it. Should I see a way of changing myself to the better through it-I´ll try to live by THAT... If the world needs your thoughts? I won´t judge whose thoughts are worth a contemplation. I can only filter by myself and for myself...

This place here is more for supporting the learning process. I hope you will gather enough like minded ones (you desperately search for those and their approval, don´t you?), maybe you can create some bigger movement and change all that what bothers you (and me). I can´t create a vision FOR you. But I´m in for the action if the plan is good.

[Revolutionary Think]

It's not exactly the approval that I search for but, for a response. For a community that thinks about what I think about but, doesn't necessarily have to agree with me. Instead we can have conversations, and debates together with being cordial. I don't search for approval I search for engagement and engaging enough people so at least my ideas and philosophies can have a positive impact on the world. So thanks for your response. 

[Revolutionary Think]

Day 6:

I keep thinking that it will happen eventually. Eventually if I try hard enough and do my due diligence that I'll get discovered. That something I write or a video I make is so incredibly profound that people will want to know more about me, who I am, and will want to get their advice from me. It makes me wonder how many other people have lived through out history that we'll never know about because people were too low conscious to even pay attention to them? Maybe there were people out there who poured out their heart and soul to create something bigger than themselves and to propel humanity towards enlightenment that we'll never get to read about in any history book because they just faded away into obscurity because people were too ignorant to pay attention? I dedicate this journal entry to them. This isn't for the Martin Luther Kings, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerbergs and Gandis out there in the world, no. This post is for the forgotten ones. The ones who we'll never know a thing about but, we can be sure that they existed, they may have never gotten their 15 minutes of fame or international attention. Although they may have been working just as hard and just as diligently as the people I just listed. 

In the end though even the people who do appear in history books and are talked about after they pass away they are not eternal either. I'm here sitting at my desk and writing this on my computer and out there people could be talking about me and writing things about me right now but, if I'm not there to experience it how will I ever know that it's happening? That's the worst thing about being recognized or known after you pass away. You're not there to enjoy the fruits of your labor. It's like getting a deposit of a million or more into your bank account after you are dead... why do you care? I mean life just seems like one big cosmic joke because it inevitably going to end in the life not being there. That's why I think @Leo Gura talks about the importance of enlightenment because you don't exist and even if some how we do exist eventually we will not exist so it's important to come to terms with that sooner rather than later so we can achieve a peaceful state more easily. I find it funny how parents think their children owe them something for bringing them into the world when they never asked to be brought into the world. The world has existed for thousands of years before you were brought into it so does it really make sense that all those years of non-existence you where actually asking to exist? Ironically your existence is non-existence anyway and even if you think that you are existing it'll eventually end in non-existence anyway... These are the questions that keep me up at night sometimes. 

It always seems like a bothersome joke for me that I get so close and yet I'm always so far. I get in touch with someone who I think can further spread my message and be of a huge help to me but, sometimes it doesn't end up rather well. I came the closest when I almost got that mentor ship from JumpCut and I was ecstatic then I found out it was a glitch and I just didn't win it. I have all of the raw materials to achieve success. I am an amazing performer and people can feel a certain aura when they are around me. All I need is something to harness this energy and to do something with this aura and it's like no matter who I reach out too it's never something that is sustainable. With the mentor ship it would've been sustainable because I would've had access to the people who had done it before and they could've told me specifics to work on. It's like somehow this big fat jerk of a world always puts my hopes up and dashes them at the last minute. I need to think of some kind of strategy to have that not happen in the end. I can say though that I am happier that the past is over but, it seems that I am stuck at this point of equilibrium that I can't seem to break out of. If anything though with all my information out there in cyberspace and I'm adding more and more every day I'm hopefully that something will eventually happen. I'm only 28 and have my whole entire life ahead of me. On the bright side the latter the day is the more sweet it's going to be and the more I can savor it. So for now I'll just hang in there. Even if the day never comes I can be glad that I laid everything out on the table and held nothing back. 

[Revolutionary Think]

Day 7:

So my Uncle just died 2 days ago and it seems extremely surreal. Somehow we're all under this illusion that we can take life for granted because death will never happen to us. Modern society seems like it never takes time to embrace the void... until it just comes up and takes them. Very family oriented cultures such as the one I grew up in are always looking to get together, talk, and do some kind of activity. If you're not up for that they'll sometimes want to force you into it because they're automatically under the impression that you are suffering if you aren't part of that. The education system culture is the same but, instead of leisurely activities they want you to always be keeping yourself busy. I had one teacher who told us students that she just didn't want us to "sit there and vegetate". PARTICIPATION PARTICIPATION PARTICIPATION!!! It's so important right. Well I don't remember signing up for that and I don't remember signing up for existence either it was all forced on all of us and it's also our decision if we want to force it unto others. So I engaged in a little experiment in trying to get comfortable with the "void" quite literally. Just went to bed and put my head on a pillow. I myself am an extremely light sleeper so that's why I even meditate while lying on the bed. While I was sleeping in that comfortable position I felt this state of bliss. One problem though my own mind wasn't letting me sleep that's the problem my mind most of the time doesn't let me sleep their is this constant dialogue that never shuts off. Then at that moment I was thinking that death if it finally takes away this torturous constant dialogue it's a form of peace and liberation. So as bad as I felt for my uncle at that time he was in the hospital and he was sedated I thought to myself hey I was lying my head on this pillow but, my thoughts wouldn't let me feel peace they just kept going and going and going and going. So then I thought about him in the hospital and I said he doesn't. That gave me some sense of peace.

Other than that 2 weeks ago I felt great with all my printing projects and I was having so much fun. Then his situation kept getting worse and worse and I felt so bad for him. Then when he finally passed I said to myself well we all gotta confront this. No one in this world is immortal and I think his passing also acts as a wake up call. To wake up and make the most of what this thing we have called life is before it leaves us. I miss him but, I take solace in the fact he isn't suffering anymore and nothing can bother him. 

[TeamBills]

@Revolutionary Think Your tomorrows are NEVER guaranteed. 

[Revolutionary Think]

Day 8:

Well I decided to make a YouTube video about my life so far to remind me of what I've been through and where I'm headed. I think in most people's lives something happens to throw off their equilibrium. These things mess up their sense of what is normal and what they are used to then things can take a turn. For instance if one's family goes from being rich to being poor the young people in the family would probably not know how to cope. Sometimes when you share some of  these things with some people the ignorant ones tell you to be quiet and stop complaining and that's just life. It's only really intelligent and quality people that you can trust and share these things with and their relate to you and try to help you. In fact in a more enlightened world people would most likely try to address these things and fix these things. So I'm glad to say I made a video about those moments in my life and some scumbags gave it a thumbs down. To this day I got 4 to be exact and those people who gave those thumbs down are being a veil of anonymity. It's amazing how some people open themselves up talk about what bothers them and they are not happy and instead some people put them even more down instead of helping them up. I think those people should be avoided like the plague and are lower than pond scum. 

Sometimes people's true colors show themselves on the internet and those colors can be extremely ugly. So anyway hopefully in an actualized community even online people are more than trolls and imbeciles to act that way. So here is the video. 

  

[Revolutionary Think]

Day 9:

Well it seems like their true colors presented themselves after Leo talked about spiral dynamics. Very often on the internet I felt that a special type of person was missing and that person @Leo Gura is the one who made this community. After all the debates that I watched between religious people and atheists constantly attacking one another I felt lost and alone. I was always wondering what the truth was what happens after death. Does anything in this world that we do actually count or is it all just meaningless in the end. Watching a bunch of debates between stage Blue and stage Orange wasn't going to solve that dilemma. If blue was right I had to live a life of neurosis constantly worrying about my every step if I didn't please the one true god. If Orange was right then it was still depressing to think that it's all just a meaningless existence and if you're in dire straits you could end up with no one caring about you or thinking about you and then disappearing into the ether as if it was all just one big scam. I am glad I came across this community and I'm glad we seem to be living in a world where stage Orange will eventually turn into the other ones and I can be on the vanguard of that world. 

In other news things are improving exponentially in my life and I welcome the future with open arms. My torture is slowly coming to an end and slowly but, surely I will have a voice and my story will be known to others who will have the same struggles I did and I can help those others. I'm looking forward to embracing a new paradigm.