#praying to God for healing effects

[at_anchor]

Here I want to just try doing this silly thing called praying. Of coursethere is no God inthe sky coming down to help me. Of course I won't get my prayers answered and scientists and rational people win every time without praying. But I want to be like this. I have nothing else to do on this forum anyway. 

 

 

 

God please, make them quiet and let me sleep. Their intentions are clear. I beg you to send someone smarter than them to protect me from them. 

God, please help me be employed and make money for food and basic survival, help me become good at something good for mankind and please protect me from their sabotaging effects. They go around telling every employer why not to employ me. Save me from these stage red and orange capitalists. Help me find a good employer and get employed. 

Please God help me get educated and capable of bringing value.

[at_anchor]

Please God help me get out of this war healthy, whole, reasonable, conscious, mindful. 

[Princess Arabia]

Here's your answer.

[at_anchor]

9 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Here's your answer.

I watched the video, thank you. So I have to live from a place of passion and authenticity. I'm just in a very negative place in my life. I wish I was living from a place of passion and joy and love.

People want me to suffer and not achieve anything in life. I'm gonna be locked away for the rest of my life. The universe and law of attraction can't help me. I wish they could.

[at_anchor]

Please God help me do as much as I can in this short time I have left of limited freedom with the poisoning and diseases I have, with the distrust and hate I receive from others, with the rejection. 

Please God help me show that I can work and hold a job, please let me be accepted somewhere.

Please God don't allow other people to imprison me and torture me again. Please don't allow for my freedom to be taken away. Please don't allow me to be locked away. I beg you, I would rather die than go through that, so please don't allow for me to be condemned there. 

Please God help me be a better communicator and please help me make other people happy and accepting of me, please help me make other people enjoy being around me. 

Please God help me survive this to go find a way to heal from disease and poisoning. 

Please God help me become authentic, passionate, help me speak well. Don't make me a crazy person. Don't throw me away, better dead in my grave than there.

[at_anchor]

Gid please don't let them kill me in this gruesome and long way that takes decades of torture to finally die. 

I lost my opportunities in life. There are non left. Life would have been so amazing if society was structured differently. I would grow up educated and all my needs would have been taken care of, and I would never sin against myself or anybody else. I would not become desparate, depraved of what I needed, life would have been bearable. It is gonna be unbearable for so long because a life span of a human is 70-90 years. How can I live that long in conditions sadistic humans have set up for me? 

Please God, as you know I didn't want to hurt anyone on purpose but I got hurt myself before hurting anyone, please stop with the injustices already, stop this painful journey to death. Please make my journey bearable and pleasant, please let me be free and let me take psychedelics and travel and be healthy and let me be good enough and help me bring lots of value to the world through videos or through construction work and let me make a living wage in some way. 

Why do you torture the innocent like this? Why? I am innocent.

[at_anchor]

If I could start life all over again, if it was an empty canvas, I would grow being careful about what I put into my mouth, I would never hurt anybody and I would never have sex with an old man when I was young. 

I would read and write more to learn langiage better. I would seek real help from family in learning math and finding a way to work when I grow up. I would learn some trade and I would immigrate to the US after high school or go to college to study a language or computer science. 

I'd make a lot of money and travel the world, have a boat and enjoy life fully. I would stay away from fights and bad people. I would not allow myself to be deceived by my father and others like him. 

Life would be bearable and beautiful for the most part. Now I am in ruins and it is impossible to fix anything. 

[Princess Arabia]

At least you watched the video, The Universe works in mysterious ways, so even though you're still carrying on with your please God help me which God cannot hear because it's just you talking to you, this is a forum seen by many and maybe someone else might get something from it too. Sometimes I really wonder if you guys really want the help you seek or if you're just playing games. 

It's not that I'm in a place of peachy gory and everything is just wonderful and that I don't suffer at times or my life is so magnificent, no. But what I've recognized is a lot of my concerns are in my mind, they are ego driven and most are not real. I can sit here and complain all I want, nothing will change unless I change me, how I view myself, the world, others and the assumptions i make. 

I could feast on the things that aren't going the way I want them to, focus on the sucky parts and blame this and that for why this and why that. This is not about toxic positivity and ignoring the turbulence. It's not about pretending to be happy when you're not, it's not about acting as if, nor is it not having real concerns for one's so-called problems, it's about Trust, it's about letting go, it's about recognizing falsehood, it's about trying to align with what's true, it's about surrendering, it's about dropping all the veils and seeing yourself as Source sees you. It's about not identifying with false beliefs, it's about limiting the amount of biases one holds, it's about recognizing the power within and how it's being directed, it's about knowing one's self and getting to know how the mind works. I could keep going on and on.

I've also recognized that I can learn through other's and I've sent myself messages to myself through others. I just have to become more aware to see and recognize them. We are all entangled and there is no separation. Sometimes I become bold, I choose to reveal certain things about myself to show myself there is no threat, no need to hide, no need to fear judgements and criticisms, no need to constrict and worry about what people think, because, at the end of the day, after it's all done you still remain, if anything you build upon courage, the courage needed to expose the devil within, to show it you're not afraid of it and the power it thinks it has on you. This is how I grow. I deliberately expose myself to things just to show myself how a lot of my fears are just in my head.

I got tired of me. I got tired of being tired. I got tired of all the projections and illusory fears that took a hold of me, I got tired of all the suffering, I got tired of feeling sorry for myself, I got tired of viewing myself and the world through my own distorted lens. I just got fucking tired. Now, I'm not tired anymore, I'm not confused anymore, I'm not worrisome anymore, yes shit happens but I get over them quickly, I don't dwell on them, the synchronicities are amazing, the opportunities keep coming and the obstacles are far and few. Not because I'm doing anything, all I did was surrendered, let go, it's amazing how when you let go of yourself and trust the process how life works in your favor, not in the sense how you think it should be but in the sense of how it is, how it's flowing through you, stop getting in the way. I still get in the way, and when I do, I notice the flow stops. This is a life long fucking journey, and all you have to do is get on the right path and the Universe will lead you the right way, but only if you let it.

[at_anchor]

My mother just told me she doesn't want to hear me. She is trying to just throw me to my father like junk. She wants me tobequiet about the truth and tohide the historical facts that lead to an accident. My family has lead me to whereI am today, and my society. I am poor and always was. Now they want to treat me like I am some sort of crazy person, they want me to take pills and sit away and rott or they will throw me away to be tortured. 

She broke my heart. Doesn't want to hear me. Look what they made of my life. Look at these disgusting monsters God and what they did to an innocent person. I wish I could stab myself in the heart and end a prolonged life of injustice and torture where I lose everything because of them.

Please help me stab myself inthe heart, please. Give me the courage, give me the strength and help me at least that. I want toescape this horror life story.

[at_anchor]

@Princess Arabia  Your post is long and I read it multiple times, but I don't know what to say. I can't choose my path anymore, it has been chosen by others. I'm bound and tied on all ends. I'm a scapegoat. 

In the past I was attacked by others for pedophilia, as though I commited fantasies my mind was creating because with minors because of porn I saw, because of stupid society that made it impossible for me to be authentic when I was younger, and out of my stupid habit. Here, I am trying to have a bit of courage and share the devil inside me from the past. I wish I never had em. I know many people do. I know I was a kid that got sexually exploited. 

[at_anchor]

Can I start making videos about my past and life? 

2 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Sometimes I become bold, I choose to reveal certain things about myself to show myself there is no threat, no need to hide, no need to fear judgements and criticisms, no need to constrict and worry about what people think, because, at the end of the day, after it's all done you still remain, if anything you build upon courage, the courage needed to expose the devil within, to show it you're not afraid of it and the power it thinks it has on you. This is how I grow. I deliberately expose myself to things just to show myself how a lot of my fears are just in my head.

This quote inspires me to open myself up on video and talk about myself, what I want amd so forth so that in the end at least that remains of me, something hopefully good.

It could make others understand me which is what the devils don't want.

Edited August 29, 2023 by at_anchor

[Princess Arabia]

32 minutes ago, at_anchor said:

I want toescape this horror life story.

You said it right there. That's a clue. That's a breadcrumb trail you left for yourself. You just don't have the eyes to see it. I see it, though. I see the clues everywhere. It's a story. You won't see them until you've awaken. Awaken out of the dream. Start being aware of your stories. The stories you tell yourself. I'm still telling stories, I'm still unaware at times how I'm creating my Reality, but one thing I can say, is there is a certain KNOWING. A knowing of what and who I am. A knowing that I am safe no matter what, I'm OK no matter what, no matter what outside circumstances may bring. I AM THAT I AM. Be still and know that I AM GOD. I cannot be touched. I cannot be harmed. I cannot be hurt. All I'm doing in life is having an experience. Realizing what I'm not. 

Yes, I get afraid, yes, I get worried at times, yes I get angry, sad, frustrated, yes I get happy, joyful, whatever. I feel those emotions. But I don't identify with them. They are fleeting. They are sensations. They come and they go. I'm not attached to them. I am back to my CENTER at any given moment. Back to the Awareness center. So all those fleeting things don't get a hold of me anymore. I test myself. I put myself in situations purposely. Why. To develop. To water the seed. To develop Trust and I kept trusting and trusting in my own capabilities. I am my own Guru, my own teacher. I have guides, and I have helpers, but I put them there, I put them there to help guide me, just like you put me here. It's not a coincidence I'm here on this fucking thread. Do you think my egoic mind wants to be here typing this, no. But I'ts not in control. It think it is, but it's not. I get sick of it sometimes. I get sick of being placed in these situations that drain my fucking energy, but I continue, I know why it's being done and I keep on keeping on because my life is not about me, it's the people that I come in contact with and how I can serve. 

I'm tired now. I can't even read it over for mistakes. I'm energetically through with this. I have to go recharge. Bye.

[at_anchor]

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

Awaken out of the dream. Start being aware of your stories. The stories you tell yourself. I'm still telling stories, I'm still unaware at times how I'm creating my Reality, but one thing I can say, is there is a certain KNOWING. A knowing of what and who I am. A knowing that I am safe no matter what, I'm OK no matter what, no matter what outside circumstances may bring. I AM THAT I AM. Be still and know that I AM GOD. I cannot be touched. I cannot be harmed. I cannot be hurt. All I'm doing in life is having an experience. Realizing what I'm not. 

I wish I could awaken and sit still but I can't anymore. I used to be a good meditator you know, in my third and fourth year of high school but later I stopped the consistancy of that habit and lost it forever. 

Don't drain your energy. I am lost, my life is lost. Sorry for being an energy drain.

I can't be safe and okay no matter what outside circumstances may bring, I don't believe that. I was  not safe in the past precisely because of this. Which is why I'm here now.

I can certainly be touches, harmed and hurt from my point of view.

Yes, all I'm doing in life is having an experience or experiences. I don't want hard experiences. It is too much. I wish I had good experiences all the time, I wish I had my health, freedom, a good way to make a living, a boat and I wish I lived on the sea. I wish I had people like YOU around me, I wish I lived with these kinds of people. The point is that I regret my mistakes and wish I could live the way I always should have lived to have a good experience on this long journey to death.

 

I want positive emotions, not negative all my fucking life...

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

Do you think my egoic mind wants to be here typing this, no. But I'ts not in control. It think it is, but it's not. I get sick of it sometimes. I get sick of being placed in these situations that drain my fucking energy, but I continue, I know why it's being done and I keep on keeping on because my life is not about me, it's the people that I come in contact with and how I can serve. 

I don't want to be here typing this either, I want to be here typing about high consciousness stuff, about my traveling trips to Asia, about reaching new levels of enlightenment, about how happy amd grateful I am for my family and people around me and everyone and everything. I want to be here giving advice to others, but all I am doing is not good. 

I wish I could serve good people and families too. I wish I could be of help. PS: I don't want to make stupid pizzas and pasteries that do a disservice to their health. I want to have a job or business of making healthy soups for people and salads. That is what I want and how I would love to make my money. But I don't have the capital. I want people to be happy and healthy and good. I want to serve humanity in a positive way. I just never had the internal and external capital.

 

@Princess Arabia Thank you so much for investing time here. If my destiny is gonna be the same any way and if I can receive no business and legal help here, I appreciate your presence in my life and feel happy you're here with me. I just wish I stopped being associated with insanity, danger, murder, pedophilia and I wish I was free and well off in life in addition to this. I wish my health was good enough to support a meditation habit again. I wish I had money to relocate and go to high school for grown ups I found online and try again and one day make a living contributing to the advancement of mankind. I wish this life experience was not like it is 

[at_anchor]

2 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Yes, I get afraid, yes, I get worried at times, yes I get angry, sad, frustrated, yes I get happy, joyful, whatever. I feel those emotions. But I don't identify with them. They are fleeting. They are sensations. They come and they go. I'm not attached to them. I am back to my CENTER at any given moment. Back to the Awareness center. So all those fleeting things don't get a hold of me anymore. I test myself. I put myself in situations purposely. Why. To develop. To water the seed. To develop Trust and I kept trusting and trusting in my own capabilities. I am my own Guru, my own teacher.

I can't deal with my emotions so well when the pain gets so bad. Circumstances are everything. They make or break you. My life got broken. I'm going to be drugged, locked and poisoned for the rest of my life starting very soon.

 

It already happened, it will just repeat for decades until I'm dead.

Edited August 29, 2023 by at_anchor

[Princess Arabia]

@at_anchoryour imagination is so wild and adventurous. Your movie is more exciting than mine. Geesh, why didn't I make mine more exciting. Shit, who wants to live a boring life of peace and harmony. Who wants heaven when hell is more fiery. Heaven is boring. Hell is exciting. My imagination doesn't come close to yours, shit i have to step up my game. The only problem is, I do prefer peace over turmoil, heaven over hell and love over hate. That's my problem. I'm screwed.

[at_anchor]

@Princess Arabia Your post made me laugh, but it is not like imagination and nothing else. It's pain. My movie is boring as hell and it will get painful. I might even die from coonstipation after years of surgeries, I might lose all my memories and start blaming myself for everything. It will be hell on Earth.

I also prefer peace over turmoil, heaven over hell and love over pain. I really do.

[Princess Arabia]

26 minutes ago, at_anchor said:

@Princess Arabia Your post made me laugh, but it is not like imagination and nothing else. It's pain. My movie is boring as hell and it will get painful. I might even die from coonstipation after years of surgeries, I might lose all my memories and start blaming myself for everything. It will be hell on Earth.

I also prefer peace over turmoil, heaven over hell and love over pain. I really do.

At least I made you laugh. Be patient with yourself. Everything will work it's course. You have a safe place to express yourself, thank goodness, so you don't have to keep it all bottled up inside. Reach out to me anytime you feel the need or just want to talk. I'm here for you. You help me like I help you. It's a two way street. Much love.