My Progress Since My First Trip

[nightrider1435]

So before I begin, here is the link to my first trip report if anyone is interested:

That trip shattered my old perspective like throwing a big rock through a glass window. I have not missed a day of mediation since the trip because it made me realize how important it really is! Before my trip mediation seemed more like a chore that I never wanted to do, only doing 20 minute sessions every other day or so, I was defiantly falling off the path, my ego was sucking me back in. Now I actually look forward to my mediation sessions, I do a 30 minute session every morning now and try to squeeze an hour session during the night too if I can. I've started doing self inquire sessions too, I haven't been doing that everyday but I want to establish a daily habit of that as well, same with contemplation sessions( what is a relationship, money, weed..haha, etc),  defiantly trying to focus on getting these habits into my daily routine here.

After watching Leo's recent video "mediation vs concentration" I decided to change from the "do nothing technique" to "focus on the breathe" so I can start working on concentration skills. I'm slowly getting better at it, I'm making progress everyday now. My mind still likes to wander but I'm getting better at forcing my awareness back on the breath whenever it does. I'm excited to see how far I can take my mediation once I'm able to have a straight focus for longer periods of time without my mind wanting to wander. The more I continue to dig in myself, the more I'm realizing of how limiting my mindset has been for the past couple years, like holy damn I've been asleep!!

My ego has been trying to make sense of the trip ever since. It can't stop thinking about truth, and what truth really is, but I know these are just concepts within the ego. Whenever my mind starts tripping about truth I have to remind myself that whatever concept I come up with is not it, and to continue to abide as awareness. This is a daily occurrence too haha, now I see how easy it can be to get caught up in that but its all illusion and not truth, I'm glad that I have a better understanding of that now.

Lately I've been practicing on how to keep a high frequency. I'm trying to learn how to perceive bad things as good things. I have to remember constantly that your inside reflects what you see on the outside, not the other way around. The universe is really on your side and wants good experiences for you! Anything you perceive as bad is nothing more than a limiting factor because again, nothing is good or bad. Lately I've noticed that things are just starting to work out effortlessly, very small subtle things however. Things like lights staying green on my commute to work, slow cars getting out of my way ( I like to drive fast haha),etc, again only small subtle stuff so far. I'm excited to see what my life can turn into if I can maintain living on a high frequency. 

The past day or two I've had two occurrences where a really strong sense of awareness just comes on me out of nowhere, but it will  only last a second, not even a second really. Basically it feels like I become one with everything for about a split second and then the ego snaps back in. Still not really sure whats going on with that yet haha

I have not been this excited to live in a very long time, its reminding me of the happiness I felt as a child. I don't want anyone or anything to distract me from my spiritual path ever again, and fuck anyone or anything that does! I'm totally in a orange frame of mind here right now, basically fuck everything else, its all about me me me me me me and my progress!!

 

 

[Leo Gura]

Good, keep it up. Don't get discouraged by backsliding when it happens.

[Extreme Z7]

@nightrider1435 Things can go way deeper than that. And the deep existential stuff you discover will completely change your life.

Just don't get so lost in your spiritual path that you neglect "regular human life". For the past month I've been spending one hour of meditation and one hour self-inquiry per day so that's 2 hours spent on a spiritual practice per day but it's been making it harder for me to work on my college projects as they require a big time commitment (My major is in computer science). So I decided to temporarily set my meditation and self-inquiry down to 30 minutes per session to give myself 1 hour of extra work time per day.

You know, decisions like that can help keep a good balance balance between spirituality and practicality.

[nightrider1435]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Good, keep it up. Don't get discouraged by backsliding when it happens.

I appreciate what you do Leo, words can't even describe how thankful I am for the information your giving us. I was really in a bad state of mind back when I first stumbled across your channel about a year ago, you saved me from creating my own hell.

2 hours ago, Extreme Z7 said:

@nightrider1435 Things can go way deeper than that. And the deep existential stuff you discover will completely change your life.

Just don't get so lost in your spiritual path that you neglect "regular human life". For the past month I've been spending one hour of meditation and one hour self-inquiry per day so that's 2 hours spent on a spiritual practice per day but it's been making it harder for me to work on my college projects as they require a big time commitment (My major is in computer science). So I decided to temporarily set my meditation and self-inquiry down to 30 minutes per session to give myself 1 hour of extra work time per day.

You know, decisions like that can help keep a good balance balance between spirituality and practicality.

I get what your saying, fortunately for me I'm not in school at the moment, I'm just working a 9-5 job right now. Its easy to balance spirituality and practicality for me at this current stage in my life.