How do I remain calm in all kinds of circumstances?

[integral]

Train yourself to look for the funny in any situation. Replace the habit with a better one. 

Edited October 22, 2022 by integral

[Muhammad Jawad]

20 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

There is a thin line between don't force others and others forcing you.

hmm. That's 100% True. Most of the time when I feel like I am forcing my wants on others but by looking at the situation in depth I realize that in fact, they are forcing me, not me.

21 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

For your family, the best that you could do is to be strong, coherent. An example of integrity. Not a weak man that wants to be nice with everyone and sometimes explode in anger

hmmm. Amazing advice.

 

Thanks a lot. :-) 

[Muhammad Jawad]

20 hours ago, Osaid said:

Something interesting I've noticed is that my anger and irritation depends on who did it. For example, if someone spilled something, depending on who did it, I will have an angry or more understanding response. Similar to how you would have a different reaction to a spill if your pet cat spilled it rather than a human.

True. That's totally true.

I was really angry when my kids drew lines on my home office walls but I couldn't get angry when nature destroyed the whole of my wall with dampness and the whole of the paint fell off. And I was just looking at the wall and couldn't say or do anything about it... Hahaha

20 hours ago, Osaid said:

I think this tells us something about anger, which is that when we perceive an incident, we might make up a story in our mind about the person who did it and why they did it, and then that story makes us more angry.

If a cat spills it, you might even find it cute. Oh, the cat just didn't know what it was doing. It's silly to expect better from a cat.

If a human spills it, you feel very angry. You expect much more compared to the cat, I think this is where the anger and resistance begins. How can this person be so unintelligent? After all I've done to educate them? How much longer do I have to put up with stuff like this?

Very True

20 hours ago, Osaid said:

Simply put, your expectations don't align with reality. And then, on top of that, the ego actually has another human person to blame for this, which is the perfect recipe for cultivating anger. The ego loves shifting blame and responsibility onto other people, it gives it a vessel to direct its anger into.

Exactly.

20 hours ago, Osaid said:

So overall, I think it's a matter of grounding yourself and not getting caught in the stories and assumptions that you instinctually pull out. Easier said than done though.

Right...

 

Thanks a lot :-)

[Muhammad Jawad]

16 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

no problem man ? Equanimity is definitely a worthy goal

Exactly, Yes

[Muhammad Jawad]

16 hours ago, Swarnim said:

Man imagine how hard it would be to stay calm when someone is cutting open your chest. I have no idea how people can achieve such levels of acceptance.

It's one thing to achieve constant peace, bliss and equanimity in health, and another in the face of pain. Just adding this to the convo.

hmm. Right.

Thanks for your input.

[Muhammad Jawad]

7 hours ago, integral said:

Train yourself to look for the funny in any situation. Replace the habit with a better one.

hmmm. Good advice.

How do I train myself to look for the funny in any situation? I am not sure why but most of the time I remain very serious. 

[Raze]

Try break through difficult emotions by Shinzen Young 

[integral]

 

1 hour ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

hmmm. Good advice.

How do I train myself to look for the funny in any situation? I am not sure why but most of the time I remain very serious. 

 

[Muhammad Jawad]

9 hours ago, Raze said:

Try break through difficult emotions by Shinzen Young 

Thanks for sharing this.

9 hours ago, integral said:

 

 

Thanks for sharing this video.