"intimacy"

[Judy2]

i'm in an oddly good mood today. almost happy. 

it's beyond me how my mood keeps swinging from one extreme to the other and right back, but maybe i shouldn't question that and just let myself be happy. :). for God's sake, just this one time. 

[Judy2]

....these past few days, i've finally brought up the courage to book my summer holiday....i'm going to England and Scotland, and i've started looking forward to it immensely.

originally, i had thought that i would go only as far up north as Edinburgh, but then i realised the Highlands are even further north. hadn't booked my flight back anyway, and in an impulsive moment i decided that i should travel as far as Inverness.

scary, and this feels very wrong and impulsive, but i'm also really excited now.

i wrote a paper about a Scottish novel (Sunset Song) a couple of years ago, and now i've had this idea that i could go to Aberdeen, too, and see the villages where the novel is set. 

[Judy2]

13 hours ago, Judy2 said:

....these past few days, i've finally brought up the courage to book my summer holiday....i'm going to England and Scotland, and i've started looking forward to it immensely.

originally, i had thought that i would go only as far up north as Edinburgh, but then i realised the Highlands are even further north. hadn't booked my flight back anyway, and in an impulsive moment i decided that i should travel as far as Inverness.

scary, and this feels very wrong and impulsive, but i'm also really excited now.

really looking forward to it now!

[Yimpa]

Just now, Judy2 said:

really looking forward to it now!

yay!!! 

[Schizophonia]

14 hours ago, Judy2 said:

....these past few days, i've finally brought up the courage to book my summer holiday....i'm going to England and Scotland, and i've started looking forward to it immensely.

originally, i had thought that i would go only as far up north as Edinburgh, but then i realised the Highlands are even further north. hadn't booked my flight back anyway, and in an impulsive moment i decided that i should travel as far as Inverness.

scary, and this feels very wrong and impulsive, but i'm also really excited now.

i wrote a paper about a Scottish novel (Sunset Song) a couple of years ago, and now i've had this idea that i could go to Aberdeen, too, and see the villages where the novel is set. 

Why UK 

[Judy2]

8 hours ago, Yimpa said:

yay!!! 

(:

Edited yesterday at 03:52 AM by Judy2

[Judy2]

8 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Why UK 

i could also sit at home all day and be miserable.

Italy would have been an option, too, but my Italian got a bit rusty and i'd like to take a class to get back into it before i book a trip there.

in the UK, i can speak English, i know my way around London, but i've never travelled further up north, even though the Lake District and Scotland are on my personal bucket list. there's nature and beautiful architecture all over the country and, depending on where you go, the ocean.

this is also the reward trip i had promised myself to go on for finishing my undergraduate degree, since that was quite hard for me mentally.....and i need to get out for a while and explore. i think that will be good for my mind.

besides, i live close to an airport now, so i'm primed to want to pollute the environment every time i look up at the sky.

Edited yesterday at 04:17 AM by Judy2

[Schizophonia]

4 hours ago, Judy2 said:

i could also sit at home all day and be miserable.

Italy would have been an option, too, but my Italian got a bit rusty and i'd like to take a class to get back into it before i book a trip there.

in the UK, i can speak English, i know my way around London, but i've never travelled further up north, even though the Lake District and Scotland are on my personal bucket list. there's nature and beautiful architecture all over the country and, depending on where you go, the ocean.

this is also the reward trip i had promised myself to go on for finishing my undergraduate degree, since that was quite hard for me mentally.....and i need to get out for a while and explore. i think that will be good for my mind.

besides, i live close to an airport now, so i'm primed to want to pollute the environment every time i look up at the sky.

Oki

[Judy2]

sessions with my therapist are just so weird. i can't tell if it's because he does a good job, better than therapists i've had before, or if it's simply weird and not necessarily good.

at the beginning of every session, he asks what my wishes or goals are. we pick a topic, and then he ask three or four times as we talk what it's like for me to talk about a certain topic, and urges me to give a name to the emotion. usually there is no emotion other than amusement and smiles, and i try really hard to give a proper answer but all that ever comes to mind is "it's fine". then we just circle around different topics and he asks a lot about how certain things connect to my past, and basically it's always the same questions on repeat...and it all just feels so fake to talk things through? like so unnecessary, and it doesn't do much other than make me feel super awkward giving interviews about myself that don't do anything. i hate talking about myself in that kind of setting, it feels so wrong. i feel so stupid trying to play along with that game and just speak about random associations forming in my head, and most of the time i don't feel anything anyway. we've never once come up with a solution, either. it's simply such an odd game when he pretends to care and i answer mechanically, but he doesn't actually care and only says all those things because he thinks they'll shift something inside me, which they usually don't.

Edited 10 hours ago by Judy2