Expression of Sincerity

[Sincerity]

The comfort of truth you can always re-verify

Solipsism is the case.* I’ve became conscious of it enough times to know it.

It’s so beautiful when you don’t need to worry about defending a truth. Because you can always start with a beginner’s mind, and when you get to a truth again and again, then you know that you can trust it. It’s such a relief.

„What if I’m deluding myself? How do I know X is true? Oh, wait… I don’t need to be attached to any belief. I can always start from scratch. And whatever will arise from my unprejudiced consciousness, that will be truth. I can relax. I am safe.”

———————

* But there’s more.

[Sincerity]

Last week I was on a 7-day trip to a coastal city I possibly want to move to starting May.

The trip was a success. I averaged 17K+ steps per day and got to check out all the places I was interested in. There was a lot of beauty and I enjoyed myself.

I have competing visions for what I want my life to be starting May. I’m not sure whether I want to rent just a room (to save more money) or a whole apartment for myself (ideally to go more monk-mode). There’s a lot of factors involved. Ultimately, I will just follow my intuition, but before that the goal has been to intake a lot of information and think things through as much as I can. The whole trip last week was about information intake - checking out the locations, understanding how I feel, imagining how daily life would actually look like for me there, etc.

At times I was thinking about the relationship with my ex. Bad memories were coming up. I still have a love for that woman though.

When I came back, we were fucking like rabbits. Yeah, we still have sex, but the decision to separate is not reversible at this point and we’re both aware of that. Still, the sex is amazing and we both enjoy it.

[Sincerity]

Vibin' to this lately.

I noticed that these days I don't really have "bad days". Yesterday I was laying in bed most of the time, little energy to do anything. But it was okay. I accepted it and let it be. Then, closer to the evening, more energy arose to do things. I shaved, prepared food for the next few days, did my daily practice, cleaned up a bit. And today I was on fire - did my work, went to the gym, read a book, did my practice, talked to my dad over the phone for 40 mins (and it was nice!)...

It's like the love that I am, broadened. I'm slightly more accepting of what arises. It's nice.

I must simply follow energy where it is. Insistence on anything else is futile.

And when energy is difficult to be heard, become silent.

Edited Monday at 11:17 PM by Sincerity

[Sincerity]

You should awaken NOW!

Edited Tuesday at 06:37 PM by Sincerity

[Sincerity]

When asking existential questions, turn them on yourself. The answers relate to YOU. Always.

• What is God? -> What am I?
• Why is there something rather than nothing? -> Why do I exist?
• Why is reality the way that it is? -> Why am I this specific way?
• What is love? -> Am I love?
• Etc.