Alta

God realization on shrooms. Everything is imaginary

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Before my experience I would've thanked Leo for everything he is doing, but now I'm aware that I would be thanking only a figment of conciousness (quite an accomplishment as a teacher eh?(I mean Leo) :))

Trip location was in nature
As before I ate 1g of shrooms, waited 1 hour for them to kick in. After one hour effects started showing themselves, but they were very weak (my goal was not to explore conciousness, but to improve and gain some insights about my life, so even for this goal the effects were super weak). Then I decided to take some more, and in total I ate about 2 grams. Again 1 hour passes and not even a single difference in my state of awareness, I was getting pissed off and sad, but acknowledged that probably my tolerance was too high, as only 4 days has passed from my previous trip.

I laid down and now here where all the fun begins.

My mind slowly became confused, it was so subtle that I didn't even noticed it initially, until a lot of time I finally realized that something weird is definetly happening. It felt uncomfortable, and I thought maybe shrooms finally started to kick in and decided to observe the effects. I couldn't make sense at all wether I'm feeling something or not, I was feeling so confused to the point of where I couldn't understand wether I am actually confused or not.
My mind started to lose grip with reality. Every action, thought and feeling didn't make any sense. It was irrelevent wether I'm doing or thinking something. My understanding went from black and white to grey and even past that. I noticed a strong desire to quickly make sense and find out of what was happening, but everything just didn't compute in me. I wasn't able to connect any dots. I wasn't calm, but I also wasn't disturbed by the experience. All I knew is that I couldn't know anything in the moment. My mind was going in loops of trying to understand what I was trying to understand. Everything was a mess and even an idea of a mess was so far for me. Good and bad was a nonsense as every other duality. 

I decided to find answers on this forum and stumbled upon another trip report where someone experienced non-dual madness. I thought maybe I am too in this state of madness, but it also didn't make any sense. I noticed that people recommend surrendering. I tried to surrender, but as everything else, the idea of surrendering doesnt make any sense, and I just couldn't do that. Not that I was afraid, but nothing was happening when I tried to surrender, just madness that I couldn't end or escape. I turned off my phone and decided to fully experience this state, without any desire to end it. Some more hellish time spent in that state, until I started hallucinating where my imagination would override the physical world. 
I saw weird shaped lifeforms and at some point they started getting even more distorted which made them visually suffer. I was empathetic and felt sad for them, as if it was me who was suffering, but then the last and the only realization I needed. I thought "Wait, why am I identifying with all of that?". They all disappeared and my mind finally got its grip back on reality. 
I had the biggest "aha'' moment of my life. I took a giant step back from everything that was happening in consciousness and realized that I was consciously imagining EVERYTHING. Even the perceiver is just a figment of my consciousness. Just pure consciousness being itself forever. My life is a joke because it was never real. So many realizations come from this state, as if its a different realm. 

It can go infinitely meta with the power of everything. This is what liberation is. Imaginary liberation. Infinity needs to contract itself in order to know itself. It creates all of reality through infinite intelligence. 

And finally its a permament realization. I can enter construct awareness state on a whim, and everytime I do that joy and laugh comes. 
The benefits are showing themself and they are not ending. So the only thing I would like to ask here is what other benefits this state brings? If I'm sad I can realize that I'm consciously making myself feel sadness and boom its gone. If I'm nervous I could do the same thing and instead of nervousness laughter comes. 

Every knowledge mind holds is relative and that is the reason why non-duality can be so scary. 
Thank you again Leo and everyone. The best thing consciousness could offer - consciousness helping you to realize it. And I see why its solipsistic lol.

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I don't knownwhat you are talking about there pal, but from my point of view,  only consious entity there is , is Me lol.

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Good, keep exploring consciousness deeper.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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@Leo Gura Infinity of gods was way too far for me, but now I'll look into it. I saw that video made a lot of confusion on this forum

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