Exposing your existential fears

[Sugarcoat]

I have came to a point where I genuinely feel my only fear is physical pain. Genuinely

 

I have dissolved my other attachments. I used to have social anxiety , not anymore. I used to be afraid of the idea of being stuck in eternity, not anymore. I actually don’t have a strong sense of time. When you are calm inside, why would it matter if it lasts forever? It’s only when you suffer you don’t want it to last. I used to be claustrophobic, but I don’t feel like that anymore. I mean, I don’t find myself in small spaces so I can’t know how I’d react, but the idea of silence in a small space doesn’t scare me. 
 

It seems almost impossible to overcome the fear of physical pain. I heard a story of a man who overcame it but it seems extremely hard to attain

[Someone here]

1 minute ago, Sugarcoat said:

I have came to a point where I genuinely feel my only fear is physical pain. Genuinely

 

I have dissolved my other attachments. I used to have social anxiety , not anymore. I used to be afraid of the idea of being stuck in eternity, not anymore. I actually don’t have a strong sense of time. When you are calm inside, why would it matter if it lasts forever? It’s only when you suffer you don’t want it to last. I used to be claustrophobic, but I don’t feel like that anymore. I mean, I don’t find myself in small spaces so I can’t know how I’d react, but the idea of silence in a small space doesn’t scare me. 
 

It seems almost impossible to overcome the fear of physical pain. I heard a story of a man who overcame it but it seems extremely hard to attain

Of course it all boils down to fear of pain . All these examples are to be faced with fear because they cause pain.

Pain and pleasure are what the entire drama of life and existence is about. 

Pain and pleasure are the real God that got people by the balls . Not some unconditional love and who knows what .

If you observe most people..all they are doing is trying to maximise pleasure and minimise pain. Even people who say I only care about truth..he wants truth because its pleasurable to know the truth and painful to not know .

[UnbornTao]

@Someone here  Ask yourself whether you're actually willing to investigate these things, or whether you just want to hold on to a belief, or have your preconceptions validated. An intellectual understanding doesn't cut it, does it? It isn't enough because it doesn't provide experiential access to what the emotion is - only theories or stories about the experience. We often confuse identifying an emotion with knowing what it is for real. Think about it: you're afraid pretty much all the time, despite your ability to identify and "understand" fear. But in reality you take it for granted.

So yes - what is it? This is meant to be contemplated, not only thought about casually. 

Edited July 9 by UnbornTao

[Someone here]

@UnbornTao when you ask what is something...how should one answer? 

[saif2]

I have a fear that I want to step into, although I am not sure how to do it safely. 

I fear society, how it is built, I fear to see the truth in how it works. I have fantasies on who I can be, if i spread my wings, but knowing society will show me my place in terms of my capacity to survive in this world. I am afraid to know what will the answer be.

[Someone here]

3 minutes ago, saif2 said:

I have a fear that I want to step into, although I am not sure how to do it safely. 

I fear society, how it is built, I fear to see the truth in how it works. I have fantasies on who I can be, if i spread my wings, but knowing society will show me my place in terms of my capacity to survive in this world. I am afraid to know what will the answer be.

You mean you have big dreams..goals..and ambitions and you want to give it your all but you are afraid you can't handle the hard work it might require to achieve such an awesome life ?

[UnbornTao]

On 7/7/2025 at 4:15 PM, Someone here said:

@UnbornTao when you ask what is something...how should one answer? 

You fucking shouldn't!  It is more of a rhetorical device. Seriously though, what you do is you question it, share the results of that process, then question again - until you make a new observation, become aware of something, and keep going until you have insight. Then, can you share that wisdom. And even then, listeners will still have to repeat that process for themselves in order to be able to reproduce the insight, anyway.

And you pay attention to feedback. For example, can you stop producing a minor form of fear that you used to experience, such as resisting something fairly inconsequential? This takes the topic out of the intellect and makes it real.

Edited July 9 by UnbornTao

[Someone here]

6 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

You fucking shouldn't! 

Great. Then I won't. Proplem solved .

 

[saif2]

17 minutes ago, Someone here said:

You mean you have big dreams..goals..and ambitions and you want to give it your all but you are afraid you can't handle the hard work it might require to achieve such an awesome life ?

Yes this and add to it that this work needs to be grounded in an understanding of how society works, in order to be successful and grounded in something real rather than personal fantasies.

[UnbornTao]

On 7/7/2025 at 5:10 PM, Someone here said:

Great. Then I won't. Proplem solved .

How convenient for you.

The question is intended to invite contemplation rather than whatever immediately comes to mind.

Edited July 9 by UnbornTao

[Someone here]

1 hour ago, saif2 said:

Yes this and add to it that this work needs to be grounded in an understanding of how society works, in order to be successful and grounded in something real rather than personal fantasies.

You lost me here .

56 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

Haha, how convenient. You picked the option that justifies not doing any inquiry. If you read the rest of the post, you'll see that I encouraged inquiry, not stubbornness. The question is there to invite contemplation, not to elicit immediate answers. It's precisely because we think we already understand fear that the answers we initially give shouldn't be trusted. Again, we take fear for granted - but we don't actually know what it is.

It seems that you like spiralling around and dancing around the Bush so much instead of actually deriving genuine answers. If I engage you here we will literally ramble for 5 pages with no end in sight . I hope no offence taken.

Edited July 7 by Someone here

[UnbornTao]

@Someone here Okay, let's use a different approach:

Can you be afraid when you're willing to go through the experience  you're imagining might happen in the future?

No need for yes or no answers, just consider it. 

Edited July 7 by UnbornTao

[Someone here]

2 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

@Someone here Okay, different approach: Can you be afraid when you're willing to go through the experience  you're imagining might happen in the future?  No need for yes or no answers, just consider it. 

Cool question..But you're twisting the order here .I would first need to know if this future experience brings suffering or not First before judging if I'm willing to go through it or not ..not the other way around .

[UnbornTao]

On 7/7/2025 at 6:31 PM, Someone here said:

Cool question..But you're twisting the order here .I would first need to know if this future experience brings suffering or not First before judging if I'm willing to go through it or not ..not the other way around .

The point is that the experience isn't happening now; you're imagining that it will, and it is an scenario you don't want to experience - hence the fear. If you wanted to experience it, or if you were willing to go through it - no matter what it is - fear couldn't arise.

Play around with this. Choose something minor yet commonplace, like taking a cold shower. Make it real in your mind - be afraid of doing that. Then ask yourself: Could the fear exist if you were truly willing to go through such an ordeal? What if you didn't imagine the unwanted experience at all, or didn't create a future in your mind?

Edited July 9 by UnbornTao