The One Thing that Makes it Easier

[Devin]

13 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

the continuum from isolation to strong boundaries is a good one to contemplate, strong boundaries can keep out unhelpful energy

I actually have positive people in my life now, it's not really that they drag me down by being manipulative or critical, they don't do that at all. But I still tend to take on their beliefs and I need to deprogram often.

And people I interact with daily that are critical and manipulative, it's unbelievably surprising to me, but I now enjoy those interactions, I can let those things bounce off me and the reaction from the people seeing that feels meaningful and it's enjoyable to see, like magic.

I love being with people, but no more or no less than being alone.

Edited July 8, 2022 by Devin

[Devin]

2 hours ago, Kksd74628 said:

@Devin

There is a benefit in both having social circle around you and being completely alone. If you have lot of interactions with people you learn to build confidence to express yourself fully and your loving skills. Almost all relationships and friendships teach you valuable lessons if you are just open to learn from them. In the other hand if you want to level down and practice on easier environment first you could just be with yourself meditating and contemplating for a while. Still being with humans is just better if you don't get distracted too much with their stupidity. Just know that they don't know better.

-joNi-

I think for some of us we wouldn't fit in a social circle conducive to that until we shed a lot of crap.

[flowboy]

21 hours ago, Devin said:

@flowboy from what I'm reading on shadow(jung) is it's a quality(usually negative) in your blindspot(unconscious). But I know I still have hooks in me for common social values and that I have ignorance, so what could it be in my shadow that you're referring to?

It is not the values and what you call ignorance, it is your judgment of those values.

It's a quality which you judge as negative, therefore suppress in others the same way you suppress it in yourself.

Integrating the shadow would put a stop to the suppression and judgment of that quality in others and yourself.

(in your case: you would have no problem with stage orange things and not try to suppress those in yourself)

Scary, eh?

[flowboy]

22 hours ago, Devin said:

My goal with a therapist would be to reveal what I'm missing, what I can't see.

I can do that in one session.

22 hours ago, Devin said:

I think they can screw you up by sending you into a rabbit hole, offering an attractive distraction like having me question things.

That is indeed what much of today's therapy seems to be about - talk therapy especially, but psychoanalysis is also quite ineffective. All mind, little feeling.

22 hours ago, Devin said:

I can really withdraw into thinking, so I'm cautious about what I start to think about, a lot of it if not all of it seems like a waste of time and energy to me, I think just feeling seems to be the better approach, not converting feelings into words, words are so flimsy, you can never truly come to an end.

You seem to have a sharp intuition!

[Devin]

5 hours ago, flowboy said:

It is not the values and what you call ignorance, it is your judgment of those values.

It's a quality which you judge as negative, therefore suppress in others the same way you suppress it in yourself.

Integrating the shadow would put a stop to the suppression and judgment of that quality in others and yourself.

(in your case: you would have no problem with stage orange things and not try to suppress those in yourself)

Scary, eh?

? thank you so much, I think that will be so helpful to me.

I know not to judge other people for being materialistic and ignorant, I'm pretty good at that actually, but I never really thought about me judging myself on those things. Although I'm relatively very non materialistic and relatively not ignorant, I still definitely possess some of those traits.

THANK YOU!!!

Edited July 9, 2022 by Devin