How to have meaningful conversations? (Leo TOE example)

[yetineti]

Hi, so obviously there is more context to this topic but in short with an example:

How do we avoid over explaining in a conversation or feeling like we have something to say? Even if we know we are right, what are some tips to exercise self control during engaging introspective conversations?

I grew up fighting (verbally) a lot and even though I’ve turned it to a well manner good intentions dude I will get super over explainy with people.

Example with Leo:

After the 1st Thoery of everything video with Curt, Leo mentioned somewhere (video, forum, idk) that in the 2nd video he’d be much more listening oriented and try to give Curt more time to speak.

How did you prepare for that? 
 

In the first video, leo just talked over Curt, over explained, etc.

 

In the 2nd, he did as he said and listened more, etc.

How do you do that while still making your points?

I know a big part of it is feeling although there are no points to really make.

Nonetheless

Much love

 

 

Edited April 16, 2022 by mw711

[Kamo]

@mw711 Using Leos example, You just consciously create that idea, that "you will slow down and listen." Then as your speaking, you refer to or remind yourself, that your following that idea and apply it as you go. 

Then for your own example. You do the same. "create an idea or solution" then remind yourself that your following that criteria as your speaking. 

Examples of solutions would be

• Slow Down
• Attentive listening
• Slightly longer pauses between your replies.
• Manage when your emotions rev up. Which means when you feel a lot of energy of any kind that makes you want to shoot off an answer quickly, This can be done by breathing deeply in the pauses and then speak. 

 

[yetineti]

@Kamo yeah this problem is quite easy, but a little counter intuitive. appreciate the help, though. 
 

I think I just need to keep growing up

[Kamo]

@mw711 Yeah with anything just keep observing yourself.