The Ancient Observatory: An N, N-Dimethyltryptamine Trip report

[Brittle_buddha]

Substance: N, N-Dimethyltryptamine 35 mg

Setting: A comfortable beach apartment
Set: Anxiety, determination and faith 

It's been at least a year-and-a-half since I last sat with plant medicine. I have had two 5 Meo ceremonies in the interim, in the form of toad Venom, but had felt called back to DMT. This is partly because, having merged with Source consciousness via the God molecule, I was curious what secrets and delights The Spirit Molecule still held. Partly too, however, was that I was feeling some anxiety and trepidation around traveling to the multi-dimensional plane and I was determined to face my fears. 

 Like most people, I always experience a little pre-flight anxiety, the severity of which being proportional to the amount of time it has being since my last journey. This, despite the fact that each of my 9 or 10 previous experiences have always been enlightening, loving and profound. While 5-MeO-DMT can certainly be challenging, at break through doses there is not much more that one can do but surrender. With dmt, however, ego remains intact and the spectacle can be so...strange, within a preserved subject /object dynamic, that willingly subjecting oneself to the madness takes some courage. 

And so I found myself, one recent early evening, at the apartment of my son. I had asked him to serve me the sacrament, and to hold space, as I am calmed and confident in his loving presence. He has become skilled and adept in facilitation and I'm grateful to benefit from his open heartedness and expertise. 

After some small talk, we set about our business. We decided upon a 35 mg dose in anticipation of breakthrough, using the Healthstone system. Meditative music was started. Futons were laid out and covered with colorful fabric. Two pillows at one end. 

First the instructions. There will be 3 practice breaths. Slowly in, then all the way out. After the last exhale, the pipe would be brought to my lips. I would inhale slowly, coached as needed to draw more or less assertively. Hold up a hand when no more could be taken. Hold as long as possible. Repeat 3 times. 

Despite my relatively few dmt trips, I had become proud of being able to take the three, requisite doses with some ease before the rapid come on made any question of physiological control moot. This time was different. 

I slowly and steadily drew in the first breath. Immediately my surroundings collapsed as a metallic whine was emitted from the center of my brain. From the pineal. The third eye. I held my hand up, held the breath in, and all of reality collapsed around me. “What the fuck?, I thought. “How can this be”?

I went in for breaths 2 and 3, each less efficient or purposeful than the previous as all hell broke loose. Something deep inside me could not admit more of this apocalyptic magic into my system. I fell back, but do not remember hitting the pillows. 

I am told that I was briefly speaking in tongues, of which I am prone to. 

In an instant I was shot, tumbling through some type of hyper dimensional portal and into a space, constructed around me, for me. The foreground became an enormous, loving, chaotic entity folding in and out of itself in impossible geometry. It’s power was enormous. It’s intentions were playful. 

I was immediately reminded that I had been here many, many times before. “Was this the same space as the toad”, I wondered?. “No, this is different “. 

The space was ancient. Multicolored but in muted hues. Shadowed at the edges. An infinite number of view ports or portals ringing the periphery like the cabin of a ship. It had the air of a great library or laboratory or observatory. It had been occupied for eternity. It was a safe house for infinite discovery and play. A halfway house between here and the final destination where ascended ancestors, guardian angels and friendly deities have kept watch over us. 

The whole thing was so incredible. The entity energy was neither especially male nor female. But it performed impossible feats for my amusement. I was laughing and laughing at the joy and spectacle of it all. I was aware of having the biggest grin on my face. That such a thing is possible. Here was complete freedom to manipulate reality at a whim. A playground where consequence had been abolished. Where the joy of being had been freed from the constraints of the material realm. 

In too short a time it began to collapse in on itself. The presence folded the tents and the lights began to go out. In the pockets of my heart, however, were left the candied souvenirs of the spectacle. A renewed sense of wonder, and the knowing of this as a safe and familiar world. 

I let the luxury linger. Through slit eyes I could see my son, standing silently. Holding space for me between heaven and earth. Seeing me rouse he lay down next to me and we held each other laughing gently. 

“Next time”, I asked him, “remind me that there is nothing to be worried about, so that I might have the courage to take the full dose with confidence, and see where the magic takes me”. 

He smiled in agreement. 

Edited March 5, 2022 by Brittle_buddha

[Grateful Dead]

Beautiful thanks for sharing ?

Interesting details really a pleasure to read. I wish I could write my trip reports like this..?

[Brittle_buddha]

4 hours ago, acidgoofy said:

Beautiful thanks for sharing ?

Interesting details really a pleasure to read. I wish I could write my trip reports like this..?

My pleasure! ❤️?❤️