Distancer Pursuer Dynamics

[soos_mite_ah]

Thoughts? 

[aurum]

@soos_mite_ah good basic primer on attachment styles 

[Yarco]

Interesting, I've never heard of Distancer-Pursuer Dynamics before but now that I'm aware of it, I can see it in my own relationship and it's clear who's who.

Also I can see how people with abandonment issues are like pursuers on steroids. Explains so much about one friend I have that is constantly establishing promising new relationships and then quickly ending up ghosted.

[soos_mite_ah]

I think this dynamic is also important to take into consideration when trying to separate attraction from manipulation. Because there are some people who try to use the distance-pursuer dynamic to artificially hook someone in. And while there are some people who try to separate attraction skills and relationship skills, I think it's important to be more critical of "attraction strategies" since it can create a shaky foundation for any dynamic, casual or otherwise, depending on who you end up attracting.