My flaws, my issues and my coping mechanisms

[Preety_India]

I'm really feeling dumbfounded at the thought of picking out my flaws 

I think deep down we all want to see ourselves as perfect. 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm asking myself - what are my flaws? 

• Lack of confidence 
• Unable to deal with reality 
• Very sensitive by nature 
• Unable to do things on time 
• Procrastination 
• Laziness 
• Inability to stay active 
• Lying sometimes 
• Lack of self awareness 
• Chaotic nature (this could also be because of PTSD) 

 

[Preety_India]

My issues 

 

• Mostly health related and physical
• Stress 
• Inability to cope 
• Trauma, PTSD, depression, anxiety. 

 

My coping mechanisms

• Playing games. 
• Abusive relationships
• Constant neediness 
• Constant dopamine fix 
• Distraction
• Lack of self focus 
• Escape from reality 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I read this today 

—

The voice of reason has spoken. 

 

[Marcel]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

I'm really feeling dumbfounded at the thought of picking out my flaws 

I think deep down we all want to see ourselves as perfect. 

I agree. Can relate 100%

Im proud of you for opening this journal hun bun 

I know this can be quite a difficult thing to do, but luckily it’s also the place we can grow the most. ?

[Preety_India]

I don't know why this reasonated so much with me. 

Just stop thinking about what's bothering you. Can you leave it to God? 

Sometimes our problems are bigger than our solutions and bigger than our strength. 

I don't think humanity is really equipped to deal with problems 

We need psychic energy in this world 

 

Depletion of this energy causes chaos and problems and destruction. 

Destructive forces rise when psychic forces decline. 

As per my inner spiritual research psychic forces can only rise when we are deeply connected to God through prayer and psychic methods 

7 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Some things are beyond our control. 

That's why I think God is important. 

People might think of it as a joke. 

But God has created miracles. God has rescued people from dangerous things and dangerous times.. 

Forces of God are bigger than forces of humanity. 

Whenever we feel weak we should turn to God. 

Nobody can destroy that which God is trying to protect. 

I don't know whether to call it devil or evil. I prefer to call it the "enemy of peace/good."

But whatever it is God gets us through that is my belief. 

Because even good people in majority cannot defeat it. We don't have strength to defeat the enemy of peace. Seems like it can easily outdo. You'll need godly forces to beat down something like this.. That's just my belief. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

40 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

The problems that I'm constantly dealing with. 

 

 

 

. 

[Preety_India]

I think that I have to come to terms with reality that I lived with a narcissistic mother throughout my childhood and that caused me significant mental trauma and suffering and depression. And it completed botched my self esteem. 

And I still live with that same mother who continues to verbally assault me every day like she just did today. 

I'm constantly looking for emotional space. 

But the problem is emotional space is very unstable phenomenon. It's like daily weather 

Today you are feeling good and tomorrow you don't feel good. It won't work. Because emotions are always fluctuating depending on the environment. 

Looking for that perfect day when everything is perfect, your emotions are perfect, everything seems jolly  that's not going to happen. That "perfect perfect" day to jumpstart everything will never come. That day of perfect motivation is never going to come. 

You can't keep waiting for that perfect day forever. 

You have to do whatever you have to do in whatever circumstances you are given. 

This is your playground. This is your life.. You make it or break it. 

 

This is where you either emerge or fall through. 

This is where you start, in all this dismal conditions. You work right through it. 

For this you need objectivity, not emotions, no pillows, no crying, no tears. Just plain objectivity. Like what the fuck am I going to do now? 

Just think through it. Just do it. Just be confident. Just don't back down. 

Look at it objectively. Look at it scientifically. Look at it pragmatically. 

Like just do what you can do. 

Don't think too much or feel too much or talk too much. Because all of that doesn't solve the problem.. 

Just leave everything to fate. 

Don't be too involved in life. 

Don't be too neurotic about it. 

Do the best that you can objectively and then let it go. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I think this is where idealism meets reality. 

You can't live life always fantasizing things. 

Because life is objective hard reality. 

Life is not fantasy. 

If you have cancer you don't magically overcome that. 

Much harsher realities out there. 

 

It's important to have a realistic outlook. A more pragmatic outlook. 

This is where I agree with hardcore stage Orange right wing conservatives 

They make sense. 

Let's say if someone is objectively ugly. They don't consider themselves ugly and that's a subjective thing. It can vary from person to person. But the fact remains that they are generally considered ugly as per market standards. 

Sometimes you want to think in dreamy ways and dream something magical happening in your life like meeting someone who won't judge your appearance at all. 

This is wishful thinking because in reality you know very well deep down that the chances of meeting a person who is way  above your league are slim in your dating market. 

There is nothing wrong with wishful thinking just like there is nothing wrong with dreaming. 

Yet there should be boundaries. 

Too much of that might take you away from reality. 

And too much realistic means that you never dream of anything. You have to find the middle ground. 

 

The middle ground is where you get to keep your wishful thinking yet you also have to learn to deal with reality and be objective about things. As objective as possible without running away from it. 

This is where the idealistic soft  Stage Green left wing meets the hard stage Orange pragmatic right wing. 

This is the middle ground. 

If you are objective about life and its realities, it might sound like it's literally destroying your dreams and taking away the positive energy you have or any positive motivation you have, this is an obvious downside. 

Yet the upside is that it makes you more practical, more pragmatic. It shows you truth and stops you from being exploited by illusions and lies. 

It helps you deal with life better. 

It also helps you to deal with the eventual shattering of illusions and the eventual disappointment that life brings especially in the end. 

Because you will have to deal with it one way or another. You better be equipped to deal with it because you can't escape reality forever. 

Although this approach appears nihilistic it still offers hope in a counterintuitive kind of way. 

This hope is useful. This hope (although hopeless) or the lack of hope is also reassuring in a strange way. Because it means you have the least expectations from life and so there is not much to be disappointed by.. This is also healing, just another form of healing. 

It's important to look at life like that as well. 

 

 

Not wanting to deal with reality is a form of psychological denial that is hard to understand or grasp. 

 

Edited January 16, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

To describe the above concept in a more theoretical way, I'll use colors. 

Lets say idealism, fantastical thinking, wishful thinking, dreaming is  represented by the color purple 

 

And objectivity,reality, realism and pragmatism is represented by the color blue. 

So when purple and blue mix, they produce lavender or violet or magenta or indigo. 

That's the middle ground. That's what life is all about. 

 

That's life in a nutshell. Both aspects incorporated into a balanced healthy blend. 

 

#violetideas

 

 

Edited January 16, 2022 by Preety_India