I think I have opened several threads on this issue before but it never resolves. I constantly battle with feelings of "i don't deserve this."  I constantly feel unworthy. I understand that childhood abuse can cause serious changes to the psyche. But can't it be undone somehow?  I grew up being called "loser" by my mother all my life.  It has somehow stuck with me. I don't feel like I deserve anything in life.    I reached a point of self destruction where I ate shitty food and told myself — this is okay. Anyways I don't deserve better.  I am not gentle with myself. I don't take care of myself. I never feel I'm worthy.. I settle for bad things.  When I was in an abusive relationship, I never questioned the bad treatment I was getting. I couldn't differentiate between respect and disrespect. I couldn't value myself. It was almost like the lines between love and abuse were blurred. I know a lot of this has to do with my upbringing.  If I have money to buy something good for myself like a health product, I don't buy it because once again I think I'm not worthy of pampering myself or even basic care.  When a good looking guy approached me a few years ago I told him no and rejected him because deep down I felt I wasn't worthy of him. I told him that. He was quite surprised by my response.  If anything good was offered to me I wouldn't take it because I would think that there are others who deserve it better than me.  When someone disrespects me, I am forced to ask myself — "where are your standards? Why are you allowing this? “ it's almost like I have normalized abuse.  My mind cannot process good from bad, especially in terms of self care or self protection.  I don't think of self care at all.  I don't feel like doing makeup. Although I bought lipsticks and I never tried them.  I wasn't like this as a teen..I had ambitions and dreams. Now I'm in my mid twenties and I seem to have given up on good things.  I don't even eat healthy food.  I have zero interest in upgrading my life because I allow myself to be settled for the lowest possible standards.  It's like I have lost all self respect and nothing appears to be worth having or worth struggling for..  My self worth has reached the lowest.  I try to simply get by. I don't even question why my life is bad. If I get bad sleep I don't question it. I don't feel the need to take care of myself. It's almost like complete self abandonment.      These were the old threads.