Emotions part 2

[Preety_India]

On 10/01/2022 at 10:20 AM, Marcel said:

Missing you smoosh smoosh 

Today will be a good day my cute duckling 

? 

*Makes your face secretly glow with love and affection eternally, like make up only I can see  on you ❤️
 

You’re my spicy curry chilly cake baguette  ?

*Kusssssssssssssssss ???

Moosh moosh. Love you. Kusss. 

 

[Preety_India]

Mini updates.. 

 

Separator.

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I got a bunch of lipsticks. I just love them. I will post pictures when I put it on. 

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Want to focus on positivity. 

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[Preety_India]

Mini updates.. 

January 14, 2022, 6.am

I still feel a bit weak. But I slept kinda okay. That's a huge improvement from how I slept a couple of days ago. 

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Bill time. 

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I had 3 words in my mind yesterday. And I forgot to note it down. 

One word was healing. 

Another word was probably psychic. 

Maybe nourishing 

Protective 

Growing

Enriching. 

Uplifting. 

Then there are other words. 

Inner child 

Holistic health 

Psychic spiritual coaching 

Naturopathy

 

 

 

 

Edited January 14, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

Mini updates

I'll focus on these words. 

 

1.  healing
2.  psychic guidance 
3.  nourishing
4. Protective
5. Growing
6. Enriching
7. Uplifting
8. Inner child 
9. Holistic health 
10. Psychic spiritual coaching 
11. Naturopathy

 

 

?Healing

?wholesome

?protective

? nourishing

?enriching

?uplifting 

 

 

Edited January 14, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I think Positivity is extremely important with any issue you're facing in life. 

What matters is that you heal and grow. 

Always have empathy and compassion in your heart no matter what. 

Then I even talked about spiritual values. I will need a recap. 

 

So we have 

• Positivity 
• "feeling better" 
• Healing and growing 
• Empathy and compassion

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

On 04/01/2022 at 3:45 PM, Preety_India said:

 

 

Time to renew my spiritual values

Compassion and empathy 

Wisdom 

Judgement 

Maturity (general) 

Awareness 

Emotional Maturity 

Embracing Reality 

Supreme Understanding 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I'll divide these into two 3 groups. 

• Core properties 
• Spiritual values 
• Healing words 

 

#empyrealideas

 

1.Core properties 

• Positivity
• "feeling better" 
• Healing and growing 
• Empathy and compassion

 

2. Spiritual values 

• Compassion and empathy 
• Wisdom 
• Judgement 
• Maturity (general) 
• Awareness 
• Emotional Maturity 
• Embracing Reality 
• Supreme Understanding 

 

3.Healing words 

1. healing
2.  psychic guidance 
3.  nourishing
4. Protective
5. Growing
6. Enriching
7. Uplifting
8. Inner child 
9. Holistic health 
10. Psychic spiritual coaching 
11. Naturopathy

 

?Healing

?wholesome

?protective

? nourishing

?enriching

?uplifting 

 

 

Edited January 14, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Mini updates as well general updates

 

 

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January 19. 2022, 10.51 am. 

 

 

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Proforma for this journal. 

• Mini updates with timestamp 
• General updates (just date) 
• Work related updates 
• To do list references with work related updates

 

Edited January 19, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

Update 5, January 19, 2022 

 

Fill out later. 

Quote

Emotions part 1

Emotions part 2

 

 

Edited January 19, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

9 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Did I set aside time for myself today? 

Maybe a bit. Not too much. Definitely not two hours. 

The goal is to steer myself towards "self focus" as much as possible and train my brain for it. 

Quote

Emotions part 1

 

 

[Preety_India]

Was feeling anxious again. 

I need to develop some sort of a self protective system. 

I'm having severe shoulder pain right now. 

Sometimes I feel like slapping my mom because she caused me so many medical issues through childhood neglect and intentional damage. She intentionally let me suffer whenever I needed medical help because she didn't want to spend money on my treatments. She would completely neglect my needs as a child and never take me to the hospital whenever I needed medical attention. Total child abuse. I try to keep pushing her out of my life so that I don't want the same pattern to repeat again. 

Today in the morning she was once again acting demanding and trying to waste my time. Morning I woke up to her loud banging music coming from her room.. 

This woman is a shitty excuse for a mother. I won't allow her to ruin my life. She did this all her life where everything was all about her. I had a very hard time maintaining any boundary with her because she is a control freak. 

It took me more than 6 months just to convince her that she needs to stay out of my room. That she should just let me do things on my own and interfere in my matters. She still doesn't listen. But I'm not going to put up this any longer. She did this all life. Like a narcissist, she never allowed anyone to speak in the house. Everyone had to be silent for her. 

I was never allowed to live my life. My father was never allowed to live his life 

But enough is enough. I have finally recognized that this dangerous pattern of narcissistic abuse is destroyed my peace of mind and my life. I need to tell her strictly to stay out of my life. And to give me space. But she just doesn't understand the meaning of space or letting others be themselves. I'm tired of fighting for my own independence and space. 

Either I have to move out or I have to keep boundaries. 

 

[Preety_India]

The moment I place boundaries with her she starts threatening me. I am so fed up. 

Narcissistic abuse is very tough to deal with. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Oki... Time to fall to myself —

"calm down Preety. Let the shoulder pain go. Slowly wake up. It will be alright. I know this struggle is pretty intense but there will be a silver lining to it all. Don't give up. This is your life. You wanted to live for your dad. Everything is gonna be okay. Keep your eyes wide awake right now. Just try to deflect the anxiety. Keep patience. Things will be fine. I know that you are feeling anxious because January is slowly slipping away and it's scaring the shit out of you because you have very limited time and opportunity to be independent. If not now then never. Try to slowly do things you need to do. Ask yourself this - what can I do right now for my "self," only for my self? And proceed with that thought in mind. "

 

 

[Preety_India]

This is January 19, 2022. 

Don't be anxious. It will be alright. 

Just a little more struggle every day and you will be out of this.. 

[Preety_India]

The door to freedom is closer and closer. Nearer and nearer. 

It will happen. 

 

[Preety_India]

Bring the door closer to self focus and self healing. 

Mini updates. 

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• Self compassion 
• Self attunement 
• Self healing 
• Self focus 

Now what is Preety going to today for self focus —

First clean the garden once again. Water the plants. Drink some water yourself.. Drink some orange juice.. 

Remember the focus should be on yourself throughout this time. 

 

[Preety_India]

I remember creating an endless list of girl characters because I was desperately looking for a girl who would be my closest girlfriend that I could freely confide anything with.. I never developed that sort of an intimacy with a girl. But I always wanted the girl character.. Plus I also wanted to be inspired by some specific characters. Since I didn't find anyone in particular, I decided to create my own versions of inspiring motivating girl characters. 

This is a whole list of endless girl characters I created in old journals 

 

On 07/02/2021 at 3:18 PM, Preety_India said:

 

visualizations. Practice these 

 

• The Ice people.. Living in ice capped mountains. Beautiful visualization 
• Sitting in an underground small interrogation room with chalkboards and table chair. Lady writes something on chalkboard. Quirky girl. Brainstorming session. After the girl a team of people come into the room 
•  Living in a rehab. 
• Sitting in morning class
• Sitting inside a Wall in a tunnel. Water gushing 
• Visualizing many sweet things like the ones on the journal. Art form of life. 
• Sitting in a tent in the Serengeti National Park 
• Living in a coastal town.
•  
• Jurassic Park City visualization
• Ice Mountain Community Visualization 
• Ptolemaic Island Visualization.. Ancient wisdom unlocked. 
• Sitting with a friend/psychologist enjoying coffee chat 

 

 

On 07/02/2021 at 3:16 PM, Preety_India said:

 

10th branch now included

 

In order to make things easier im going to rotate between different branches mentioned above to streamline my self development journey this year.. 

 

10 branches 

1 Marketing (1st branch) ?

2 Psychology and Counseling (2nd branch) ?therapy 

3 Religious services (God, church) (3rd branch) ?

4 Reiki (4th branch) spirituality 

5 Community Circular Job (5th branch) 

6 Business(6th branch) 

7 Entertainment and recreation (7th branch) 

8 Learning and Creativity (8th branch) 

9 Self development and life purpose/passion/contribution to community (9th branch) 

10 Daily Productivity, Optimization and Efficiency (10th branch) 

 

Post created on. Wednesday February 3rd. Today is Saturday February 6th 

 

 

On 09/02/2021 at 10:07 PM, Preety_India said:

      

          The bad guys set 

•  The scary Snake Devil 
• Scary Red Eyes or Benevolent Devil 
• The quirky girl 
• The Ice man 

        The good guys set 

• Hereus (stage orange and blue, achievement, productivity, Flourishing,growth, ambition, leadership, ability, expansion, passion, constantly improving, evolving and upgrading) 

 

•   Derenina (protective, stage Green, healing, shaman, motherly, Gaia, sisterly, helpful, kind, nurturing, healing, repairing, loving) 
•  
• Geserdel... Girl who does witchcraft, shamanism, guidance, psychic, fortune teller, saging, praying, witch, nature lover, wise. 

And some more 

• Tony Robbins 
• Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez 
• Jordan Peterson 

All these archetypes will be thoroughly used during motivational visualizations. 

 

 

 

 

On 10/02/2021 at 0:19 AM, Preety_India said:

I'll call this practice the archetype visualization guidance method. AVGM. 

Some people can have God complexes. Some people can act like cult leaders. Some people can have self biases. Some people can be selfish and hypocritical. 

 

List of archetypes to be used for visualization 

•  The scary Snake Devil 
• Scary Red Eyes or Benevolent Devil 
• The quirky girl 
• The Ice man 
• Hereus
• Derenina 
• Geserdel 

        Solutions : -

•  
•  
•  

 

On 02/03/2021 at 11:33 PM, Preety_India said:

 

Omg I can't believe this is happening. 

 

Right at the pinnacle of my spiritual evolution I come across this video of Miley Cyrus. 

 

I had been imagining myself as a girl maturing and blossoming into someone with a cowboy hat and boots and not giving a fuck about what the world thinks and simply focused on my own spiritual growth. 

 

And here it is, just in time, comes in this interview where I see Miley Cyrus personifying what I had been imagining. Not only the outer aesthetics in terms of her simple shirt and boots but also her voice and mannerisms, all dribbling with maturity, I can't believe it. 

 

 I'm seeing my alter ego right in front of my eyes, my spiritually evolved alter ego. 

 

I can imagine myself in an underground rugged basement studio with a mic stand and me screaming a song at the top of my lungs and dancing around in jeans and boots and not thinking about the world even for a second. Just soaking up who I am and wanting to connect with God in the most genuine way possible. 

 

Omg. 

 

On 05/03/2021 at 10:32 PM, Preety_India said:

I've decided to take a new identity, an alter ego. This new identity will help me cope with my PTSD symptoms. This new identity helps me understand my own feelings better. 

It reflects how I feel. There are many versions of this new identity - the pink haired version, the purpled hair version, the black haired version, and the blonde haired version.. 

I'll call this new identity Marabella.. 

Marabella represents a woman who suffered trauma because of child abuse and tries to run away from the world and cannot trust anyone and is trying to fight the trap called Life. 

Marabella means "star of the sea" 

Since I'm a Pisces, I totally connect with this name. 

 

The pink haired version of Marabella, the Indian girl version. 

 

The purple haired version. 

 

I'm wearing straps all over my body as Marabella and these straps represent the " trap" that I constantly feel I'm in. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The blonde haired version of Marabella. Like the dog chain choker. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The black haired version with braids. 

 

 

 

 

On 12/04/2021 at 3:52 AM, Preety_India said:

I like this girl

 

 

 

On 02/05/2021 at 10:45 AM, Preety_India said:

 

So I decided Cassia should look like this. 

And I decided to embody cassia in my life. 

I want to be the Graffiti girl. 

 

 

On 10/05/2021 at 5:46 AM, Preety_India said:

 

New list

30 character list 

 

1. The garden girl Jenna
2. Graffiti girl Cassia
3. Witchcraft girl Verona
4. artsy girl Caitlyn
5. nerdy girl Ackell
6. 90s girl Lora
7. warrior girl Tunisa
8. hyper competitive girl Dana
9. Cool girl Luna 
10. The fashionista Geneva 
11. sophisticated girl Aireen.
12. seductive girl Cara
13. unlucky number space left empty 
14.  monk girl Sheira
15. The matronly girl Patriusha
16. The candy girl Dexa
17. The bohemian girl Ianna 
18. The hippie girl Trixy
19. The mean girl Inish 
20. The spunky girl Serena
21. The village girl Bethel 
22.  The Egyptian girl  Seshattari
23. The happy girl Kelly
24. The club girl Ava
25. The disciplined girl Alysie
26. The sensuous girl Evelyn
27. The sweet girl Emmalynn
28. The classy girl Lorelei
29. The independent girl Ezra
30. The meta girl Emberly 
31. The wise girl Tala

 

 

On 03/08/2021 at 5:59 PM, Preety_India said:

I thought this girl could also be my famgirl. She is an old Indian actress. 

She looks like a beach girl.

 

 

 

 

On 14/09/2021 at 8:08 AM, Preety_India said:

 

This is the girl I was talking about. 

Her facial expressions are so similar to mine. 

Omg I feel like she is my duplicate. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 06/11/2021 at 6:22 AM, Preety_India said:

So Bexley is a loving wonderful charismatic wise friendly social girl who inspires me.. 

I love this female character. 

I would love to paint her nails. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

On 04/02/2021 at 8:13 AM, Preety_India said:

Then in my thoughts I met a girl who was like "let's fuck them in the ass" kind of a girl. 

She is quite smart unlike me. 

She does care but she is quirky. 

I'll call her the quirky devil 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 19, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

On 07/02/2021 at 3:13 PM, Preety_India said:

 

 

 

Long list of skillsets 

 

??Proficiency Catalogue ??

 

• Confidence 
• Motivation 
• Communication 
• Goal setting 
• Inspiration (I'll protect you, we will make this thing happen) 
• Empowering 
• Consistency and persistence 
• Feeling a sense of security. 
• Awareness (self and environment) and understanding. 
• Learning something new 
• Investment 
• Creativity 
• Passion 
• Expansion (knowing more, learning more ) 
• Crystallization 
• Elimination (something not serving your purpose, something hurting your goals) 
• Experience (important) 
• Wisdom 
• Adding to your kitty/building arsenal 
• Upgrading your database and updating 
• Growth /progress 
• Filling (filling cup with knowledge) and absorbing
• Organizing and structuring (connecting the dots, mapping, come together, confusion removed ) 
• Optimizing and streamlining 
• Implementing 
• Brainstorming 
• Flourishing (moving forward forever) 
• Power of the positive spirit
• Accountability partner 
• Being graceful and grateful 

 

 

?? Additional arsenal ?️?️

 

Subconscious reversal of patterns

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 19, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

On 10/02/2021 at 0:19 AM, Preety_India said:

I'll call this practice the archetype visualization guidance method. AVGM. 

Some people can have God complexes. Some people can act like cult leaders. Some people can have self biases. Some people can be selfish and hypocritical. 

 

List of archetypes to be used for visualization 

•  The scary Snake Devil 
• Scary Red Eyes or Benevolent Devil 
• The quirky girl 
• The Ice man 
• Hereus
• Derenina 
• Geserdel 

        Solutions : -

•  
•  
•