I have weird self-control problems

[Toby234]

I’ve been dealing with two problems for 6 months now. The first when thinking about something bad, dirty, secret, mean, or seriously fucked up I end saying under my breath or randomly out loud quietly like a tick. Problem 2 has been urges to do bad things to people just because but I don’t actually want to do, like violence, rape, or something retarded. I feel like I’m not in control anymore and wish to fix this.

[Preety_India]

Harm OCD 

[Gianna]

When we want to do bad things to people it is because we are wanting to create empathy. Only from a place of chronic isolation, rejection, or ostracization do we want to harm others to create a place of connection and understanding. In other words, we think that if we hurt others they will then be able to see and understand our pain and that will cause them not only to connect with us but to also not be able to continue to hurt us/cause us pain. Of course, there is a more aligned/harmonious way to create connection and understanding with others. If I were you, I would figure out what it is that you really need (usually it is an emotional need) and then I would introduce a solution to meet that need to the part of you that wants to harm others. I would then work to get that need met from a conscious/intentional state.