Peace of mind, love, guidance, health, awareness, half project

[Preety_India]

Whoever has directed their comment at me. I don't wish to argue with you. 

 

I have left my detailed reply to you here 

I don't think you should have a problem with someone else's creative expression. 

Also it's not polite policy to tell someone to get off the forum. 

They are anyways not here for your validation. 

 

[Preety_India]

All I'm asking for is just let me be who I am and don't bother me unnecessarily and I don't need to engage or argue

 

I'm usually not the one to start things. 

I like to be by myself. 

And I can't help it that my presence is so displeasing to you because I'm simply being myself.

Also the part of validation and attention, well I don't need it, never needed it to begin with, never asked for it, and it's a deep projection to think I'm looking for validation. Because clearly in my opinion im not. I even left the forum for it and removed my 100 followers. Isn't it enough that I left forum? I'm trying to journal peacefully. Not trying to hurt anyone. If my happiness or sadness hurts your eyes, I can't help it. Just leave me alone and I will be fine. I'm too tired of people, so validation is the last thing on my mind. It's utter, baseless and pure projection and I don't need to die defending myself 

Im saying a gazillion times that I'm done and I don't need your attention so please don't make me a scapegoat

 Im simply trying to peacefully move on and live my life. 

Once again I don't want your praise, preachings, criticism, comments, validation, invalidation, feedback, please keep it to yourself, I don't need that shit, my own insights help me more than anyone else's. 

This is probably the nth time I'm stressing that just because I am here doesn't mean that I like to talk to people or want to talk to people. Absolutely not. I'm an introvert and I'll always be an introvert. Nothing will change that. So talking to people is always a bit difficult for me, nor does it ever amuse me in any way so saying that I am looking for validation is probably the biggest joke in my perspective. 

If I'm so unlikable, just don't talk to me and I will be chill

 

And maybe when you ask if I am triggered, I guess it's quite hypocritical to do something triggering and then question why someone is triggered, maybe don't try to start a conflict when the other person didn't ask for it. 

I want to make this statement firm and clear that I only journal for myself and the purpose it serves is first and foremost for me. Everything else is secondary. So please do not have other thoughts. Most likely what's happening in my brain doesn't align with your thoughts and I'm sick and fed up of constantly having to provide an explanation to people. It's not necessary so let's cut it. 

 

 

Edited October 4, 2021 by Preety_India

[Marcel]

@Preety_India

Sorry I feel asleep super early today and just woke up at 1:35 am. Made my bed, did some laundry and fell asleep for almost 9 hours. I fell asleep at 4:30 pm yesterday. I’m awake now though. I am sorry people are still bothering you. Always remember, they’re jealous and miserable. That they want you’re attention is unintentionally the biggest complement these morons can give you and just goes to show how immature they are. I am proud of you for standing your ground unapologetically.  You’ve got this girl. I promise it will get better. They thrive of your attention and if they’re starving for it, some people may go on to take desperate measures to get it and try to start nonsensical conflicts, just to escape their own misery, which is just beyond pathetic of course, but that’s just how these idiots work deep down. All they know how to do is to project like kids in elementary school. Just put them on your ignore list and report them if necessary hun. I am fully aware that this is not a perfect solution either, since you inevitably come across and have to read their comments in your journal, but at least that way you can filter out the thrash and hopefully it will just stop over time. I love and adore you my beautiful wife. Stay strong hun. It’s ok ❤️

[Preety_India]

 

Public appeal to anyone who is reading this journal. 

 

 

Please do not abuse me on this forum - a public appeal

 

This is a request to users who constantly want to harass me on this forum. Please stop this behavior. I make a humble request. I am only here because journaling here helps me. Public journaling helps me. Private journaling does not help me at all. 

Yes I admit that I have emotional and mental health issues largely because of childhood trauma and the resulting PTSD I suffered for many years. However this Vulnerability shouldn't be exploited on a website like this. People come here for help and not to be harassed or abused. 

I have a large number of posts because I constantly need to journal in order to stay positive or I could have a mental breakdown. I wish people here at least put 1% effort into understanding another person's struggles. 

I have never trolled anyone in my life and this is my only account and I don't even use VPN. I met an amazing guy on this forum last month who helps me a lot with my emotional battles. He is not another profile I created. He is just another user. He asked me for my profile picture so I edited it slightly and gave it to him. He uses a VPN probably. We are not trolling anyone, we are simply trying to help and support each other in whatever ways we can and we aren't hurting anyone. 

I would have completely left this website if I weren't journaling here. On my boyfriend's advice I left the forum. But it seems like it doesn't stop some insidious people from mentioning, quoting or spreading false rumours about my personal life. My personal life is not anyone's business nor is it for you to judge if you don't know me personally. Stop speculating so hard about someone online if you don't know them. Stop dragging me into unnecessary debates and conflicts and stop attacking my personal life and Vulnerabilities. 

Yes the journal is open to read. But just because the journal is open to read doesn't mean that you exploit this opportunity and use it as ammunition to hurt and harass me. It's not funny. It affects my mental health. 

I seriously don't have any interest on this forum and I have hardly replied in this past whole week except for one thread where Leo asked about VPN. Even that opportunity was used to attack my personal life.

Please learn to be sensitive to other's struggles. You never know what someone might be going through. If you don't like my journals, don't read them. It's completely under your control what you choose to read.. 

I don't want to leave this website because the journaling is the actual thing that helps me a lot.

Also to other members who simply watch passively, imagine if your sister was in my place. We are not here to create such a harmful environment. If you can't defend me (which I understand), but at least don't encourage the harassment and trolling because you are enabling it. It's not funny and it's not a joke. 

Trolling, harassment and abuse cause serious suffering and I have tried my best to not let the recent wave of troll accounts to impact me. I'm trying to stay brave and strong despite this constant effort to discourage my spirit. 

It's also forbidden under Forum Guidelines to not target someone's personal life. 

I'm not good at socializing. I'm far too sensitive but I don't expect anyone to be ultra sensitive. Just be decent, we can do this much. We can at least have this much understanding to stop gossip, rumours, and personal attacks. 

I just had a mental breakdown an hour ago because I'm mentally in a very vulnerable place struggling minute to minute to stay positive and just live my life. The journaling is the only thing that keeps me from going over the edge and my boyfriend who is supportive as well. 

Again my personal life is none of your business and also it doesn't hurt or impact anyone because I don't use it to attack anyone. I am simply trying to live in peace. 

Please stop harassing, abusing, trolling and refrain from using my personal life as ammunition. 

I usually do not talk to people in real life as a result of my social anxiety. Please don't tell me to seek therapy or any other advice because except journaling, nothing has worked so far for me. Seeking therapy is not as easy as it sounds and therapists have themselves told me to continue my journaling habit. 

I wish Leo had given better options with journaling like turning off comments but I really can't complain about something that has helped me for 3 years 

I left this forum on September 29th in the hopes that I would be left alone in peace. 

I have helped so many people on this forum, if they remember, it's a shame I get treated in such a despicable way. 

I have left the forum but I'm still the member here for the purpose of journaling. 

People here are very desperate to get me banned. My need to heal is greater than your need to ban me. Consider that someone is simply trying to seek help. Everyone needs help in some form, even those that you consider unpleasant or annoying. 

I might be annoying to you but I'm still a human being behind this computer screen and I deserve respect as much as you do. 

Please stop to think that whatever you think about me could also be completely wrong. Don't be so self righteous in your speculations and so hard on your projections. 

I want any communication to be devoid of my personal details.. I don't want any validation or attention, that's never been my goal. My only goal is to find healing for myself and my journaling helps with that. Journals are meant for personal use because that's where you can open without anxiety and scrutiny. Do not use people's vulnerabilities against them. Do not use my journal details as an ammo to attack me. It defeats the purpose of journaling. 

Do not attack my post count or the person who is trying to Simply help me. My post count does not hinder your progress. 

Recently the rumour is spreading in the forum that I might have created another user profile and act as a male. This is simply not true. He is a different user. You can confirm this with mods. Mods can Skype me and my boyfriend for confirmation if they want. We are two separate people and two separate accounts. Please stop this false  rumour. 

Attacking someone's personal life is not only hazardous but also against forum guidelines. 

I have removed my followers which actually took 3 years to gather, just because people were constantly speculating that I'm looking for validation. 

I say it not once but a million times that I don't need your attention and or validation. I'm simply trying to exist and heal in peace. Please let me. Please don't use every opportunity to attack my character. You don't know me and will probably never will. Please don't use this thread as an opportunity to attack my character. Everyone has character flaws and nobody is perfect. Let's not use that to make someone feel miserable. 

My only humble request is that I be left alone. Please don't mention or quote me anymore on the forum as I have officially left it a week ago because of all the trolling and harassing. I understand that getting rid of trolls is difficult. Yet I expect a minimum level of decency from members to not encourage the trolls. Don't support this behavior by talking and speculating about me.. 

Please leave me alone and out of your discussions and gossips. Now that I have left the forum, this has to be easy. 

I make a public appeal to this forum to leave me and my personal life alone. We are here to learn and grow, let's focus on ourselves and not on what others are doing with their lives. 

I don't like people discussing my personal life since this is just a personal development website. 

How would you feel if someone targeted your personal life? 

Lets not encourage this behavior on the forum. 

I ask nothing from you all and I want nothing from you all, I don't want your attention. In fact it's a blessing when I don't get attention. 

I understand that I might have engaged in certain things that might have appeared as attention seeking but those were out of innocence and naivety, never out of purpose. I'm aware that I tend to attract more attention than usual wherever I go and that's why in real life I avoid going to places. So I come online where I feel relatively less anxious. I can't help people giving me attention, it is what it is, although I highly detest it and wish I never got any attention. I just don't like it. 

My humble request - 

Please leave me alone and maybe my life will get better. 

Thanks. 

[Preety_India]

My standard response to bullies

It's unethical and unfair to target someone's personal life. Stop using your personal vendetta against me to provoke and spread false rumors about me..

 

[Preety_India]

I will also tell the bullies to stop dragging me into their drama and unnecessary conflict

I will also tell the bullies that karma will get them and what goes around comes around. It's not okay to harass someone and they will be judged the same way they judged me. 

This is a learning lesson not to be on forums like this

Nothing should be a reason ground justification or defense to attack someone's life in a personal way. And this forum has no policies for it

People shouldn't encourage behaviors where a person's personal life is targeted. We are adult enough to understand that if someone opens up about their past trauma and their Vulnerability we shouldn't use it against them. That's not why they open up about their life. People should stop being mean. Also if someone is happy, don't use their happiness against them. I am happy for the first time in my life. And maybe some people aren't too happy seeing that. And that's why they are desperately trying to instigate things against me

I am so done with this. Stop trying to drag me into unnecessary conflict. Stop targeting my personal life. Stop stirring the pot and dragging me into your drama. You are the one creating this. I have left the forum long ago and my personal life is in my journals, not any of your business. Gossip is not a good thing to do. Let me live in peace. Stop pushing my buttons. Stop instigating things against me. Stop shit talking about me and then expecting me to stay silent about it. If you don't like me, then just leave me alone. If you don't or can't have compassion for me, fine, but remember your lack of compassion for me will boomerang back to you. This is my message to people who enjoy targeting and bullying me. Ganging up on me is not okay. If you think that I'm the one creating drama, then you aren't drama free either because you're dragging me into it even when I'm consciously trying to walk away from it. This is the reason why you can't thrive in an unsupportive environment. Because you're literally talking to walls. Nobody listens and nobody understands and nobody cares. I'm tired of this fakeness. I'm tired of being abused on this forum and i constantly feel suicidal because of this. I'm simply trying to live in peace in my journals and the bullies won't stop instigating me endlessly. They still bring me up despite my repeated requests to not bring up anymore. Also these same bullies are spreading false rumours about me because they are obviously not happy that I'm having a happy life for the first time. I hope that nobody has to suffer this fate. Nobody has to go through mental breakdowns the way I did. I only wish the best for others. I am so exhausted by these constant wave of attacks recently. It affects me. And I get the blame even when I have no role to play in this. How am I hurting anyone by simply opening up about my personal life in my journals? This is absolutely ridiculous. 

I haven't slept for nearly 16 hours straight and this has eroded me so much mentally. Why do people shit talk about you and then act like it's funny. It's purely sociopathic behavior. It's simply targeted harassment. I even left the forum to get peace because I realized that talking over here is like talking to walls who won't listen and won't support but rather invalidate 

My spirit will stay forever even if I'm dead. You can't ban a spirit. That's the beauty of spirituality. Try to do good karma in life instead of causing others deep pain and suffering. I had a mental breakdown 9 hours ago. And I'm being blamed for it. I'm so exhausted by this useless forum politics 

 

 

 

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