Emotional Healing (closed journal)

[Preety_India]

@Marcel

Yesterday we were talking about grand dad. And you had an emotional release. We won't divulge into details. So you say that you do miss him and you had a huge release.. 

You let it all out. 

How did you feel after releasing? 

You felt like your heart was lighter. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Marcel

• We talked about mom 
• Grandad issues... Felt unsafe and uncomfortable as a teen 
•  How compassion is needed to heal mom's issues. Using gentle approach 
• The incident with dad. After that a phone call with grandmother. 
• He had npd. (avoiding conflict) did not understand when you were 15. Cold behavior 
• And that there is conflict between. You don't tolerate disrespect. You won't take disrespect.
• Expenses, how many euros were spent in different ways? 
• Money mis management 
• Start working in 4 months. 
• 4 months time for emotional healing, psychological healing, cultivation of compassion, ignore dad, mental health struggles, problems with expression, suicidal tendencies, open communication and sharing, you want to be able to access emotions properly, mental instability, no control over emotional state, weight loss, physical exhaustion (over exertion and body and mind abuse, self destructive behavior), existential crisis, confusion state there is no sense of direction, feeling all emotions at once, music was having a bad influence, mental and emotional exhaustion because of crying and pent up emotions, talking about and crying was making you feel better, healthy crying, uncontrollable crying causing exhaustion, you want to work out 3 times a week for 30 minutes. 
• You cut out superficial friends 
• Past addictions - TV, overeating, music and video games, walking, over exertion, studying 
• Stage Orange mindset (from family) blue in family, maternal is green 
• Suicidal tendencies 
• Free therapy - planning to go to a therapist conflicted about therapy due to bias and bad experiences with therapists in the past 
• Integration of masculinity 
• Shaming your own masculinity 
• Free expression of feminine side 
• Morgue helps you. Some of his work 
• Bob Proctor - stage orange 
• Struggle with Stage Green emotional side. Can't relate to it 
• Dominant and submissive side 
• Food preferences changed - vegetables and fruits.
• Walking in early morning for 30 minutes 
• Sleep quality - all over the place. Very sleepy. Over sleepiness. Not a proper schedule. Not able to keep a schedule for more than 2 weeks 
• Don't watch porn 
• Emotional issues - majority /major 
• Definition of spirituality - to develop love, compassion and care and understanding 
• Suicide attempts - 2, 18/20
• Loneliness 2 years (last) 
• Pyramid scheme- it helped you become more extroverted. Don't regret it. Lost money on it. Regret losing money on it. Overall negative experience. Interacting with different people was a positive part of the experience 
• Number of friends - very very few. 
• Bullying - 7th grade (13 years) to 10th grade (16 years ) cold environment 
• Defensive at times in teens 
• Some anger issues due to suicide based trauma 
• Emotional Maturity - need to develop. Access to feelings needed. Impulsive during triggers. Less control on emotions.
• Dealing with everything all alone 

 

Edited September 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

@Marcel

You are loved hun. I love you 

 

 

[Preety_India]

@marcel

It's time to be practical, to integrate emotional side and to resolve trauma. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

@Marcel

@marcel 

We share each other's trauma, all of our energies are free to use, we lessen each other's trauma, we lift each other up and we heal each other so we don't feel tired together. 

 

Edited September 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

@Marcel

Summary of today's emotional history 

You felt comforted after talking to me  when you had a nightmare. 

You said that your heart felt lighter after being with me. 

I calmed you down pretty quickly 

 

 

[Preety_India]

@Marcel

So we are going to keep a track of our emotional health. 

And we have decided that it's a good idea that we do this together. 

You expect Openness out of me. Like not hesitate to say anything to you. 

 

I expect you to open up about everything. 

We should be fully open.

I love you honey. ❤️

 

[Preety_India]

@Marcel

We're going to have quite a emotion intensive days together and we will be fully open and vulnerable and get through it together 

 

 

[Preety_India]

@marcel

We also have to look on things where we can grow together. Like mutually grow and heal. 

And work on not only areas to resolve but also skills we will need to create mutual happiness for each other in the future. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

 

Our gifs 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Marcel]

@Preety_India

I am so proud of you hun 

You’ve already put soooo much effort in this journal ? 

I appreciate it very much, that you’ve spent so much time on creating this list.
 

It’s very helpful 

I love you hun 

I miss you 

I love you so deeply 

[Preety_India]

@Marcel

 Was collecting some gifs

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 22, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

This music uplifts my spirit whenever I wake up. I absolutely love Chicane's music 

Good for my emotional health. It creates a feeling of hope. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Some more gifs. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 23, 2021 by Preety_India

[Marcel]

@Preety_India

I love it.

Good girl ?

 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

I love it.

Good girl ?

 

Kiss 

 

[Marcel]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Kiss 

 

*Keeeeees ?

[Preety_India]

I was listening to to this guy.