Jesseappeltje

Using my gapyear the best I can

4 posts in this topic

Hi everyone!

Long backstory short: I got a collapsed lung and needed surgery for that. Afterwards I tried starting college - mechanical engineering - but I realized it wasn't going to work because my health and stamina are still awful because of it all. So I was forced to take a gap year and try again next year.

But I saw this as an opportunity. Honestly, I don't even know if mechanical engineering is even the right choice for me. I realized I am not sure if the "train I am boarding" when I start my college degree will get me where I want to be. I have done little research beforehand about what work I can do with this degree, and I remember thinking: "Ah don't worry about it now, it will work itself out, you will find a workplace that makes you happy." My parents and friends told me the same really.. But I don't think this is true at all. When I "board this train", I have no influence over were I will end up. Yes, where I live there is a lot of demand for engineers, but do I really want to become an engineer? I am not so sure about it. I am a very creative and ambitious person with big personal-projects and I don't think I can express those qualities when I design parts of a machine for a big company for example. Also, so far, I don't really like the courses too.

I want to use this gap year to work on myself, mentally and physically, expand my skills and possibly try finding another degree. But I am afraid I won't find a degree that is right for me because I already did a lot of research about the possible degrees before I started this one. I am afraid I won't find one that is perfect for me and I don't want to go one that is "okay I guess". I realize that this is a very important phase in my life and that the choices I make now will have a huge impact on the rest of my life.

So what I want to achieve this year is to have a plan B to fall back on when I don't find a right degree. I was thinking about a business to make my own money with something I like, but I have no idea what to do. I am also taking Leo's Life Purpose Course, but I am not sure if I can find my life purpose, start a matching business and make enough money to convince my parents of me not going to college.

I would like your insights on this because I am lost and stressed and I really want to make the best choice I can. What would you do if you were me? What is the best strategy to go with here? I really don't want to cut into my own fingers because what I want to do is a drastic choice and it requires a lot of time which I have limited of and I want to make the most of my year. Thanks in advance!

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I would not worry about plan B. I would focus on Plan A.

plan A sounds like it is finding the best degree path for you, and working it out so that you graduate and find a career or business path that is best for you.

this is often a challenging question, but what’s great is you can use this time to methodically work your way toward an answer.

Life Purpose course is a great resource to get you started but understand that you can’t just think of a dream business and then poof that into existence without time, money, experience, network, skills, know how, confidence, etc. always look for a practical bridge for how to get there.

Keep journaling about what you know and what you don’t know, and think about how you can answer what you don’t know


A Call to Live Differently: https://angeloderosa.com

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2 hours ago, Jesseappeltje said:

So what I want to achieve this year is to have a plan B to fall back on when I don't find a right degree.

My sense is that you should flip this.

You’re already assuming you will not find the right degree.

Instead, I would commit myself fully to finding and obtaining your degree, EVEN IF it turns out not to be what you want to do. I would cross that bridge when you get there, not try to deal with it when you don’t even know if it’s going to happen.

And if you split your focus between your plan A and plan B, realistically you will likely fail at plan A. So don’t hedge. Assume plan A is all you got, even if it’s not.


 

 

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I was exactly in that position when I was 19. Then again when I was 24.

Making a huge list of all the possible degrees to go for. Analyzing them and trying to optimize for the best choice.

So afraid of making the wrong choice.

It's wasted energy though, because life doesn't work that way. Trying to use reason to logically optimize for the best choice, doesn't work, because you're reasoning based on assumptions you can't know.

Especially if you're 30 or younger, you can expect to be an entirely different person within 5 years. Different likes and dislikes, different worldview, different friends, different passions, different life purpose.

So good luck making the perfect choice.

  • What will you be passionate about in 5 years?
  • How will your personality have changed in 5 years?
  • How will the job market have changed in 5 years?
  • What will you feel that your life purpose is in 5 years? Is a degree useful for that? If so, which one?

 

It's impossible to know these things. I would have told my younger self to just do what feels most interesting. The rest is useless overthinking.

Life success is not determined by "events", as most people think. Events being: graduating, getting a degree, making that one investment, starting that business that day.

It's determined by how you life your life every day.

See also my reply here:

 

Edited by flowboy

Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

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